


Rebel

by hogwartsahoy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Reader-Insert, The Rise of Skywalker spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 46,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21899365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hogwartsahoy/pseuds/hogwartsahoy
Summary: Armitage Hux finds himself strangely fascinated by you, a Resistance fighter and pilot, even though he knows he shouldn’t. You know that there’s much more to him than you see on the surface.This work contains spoilers from The Rise of Skywalker. It's advised you don't read if you haven't seen the film!
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Reader, Armitage Hux/You
Comments: 152
Kudos: 723





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea while watching The Rise of Skywalker last night, and then realised that it was definitely going to have to be something I explored more through more than one chapter, and so this has come into existence. If you read this, I hope you enjoy it. I’m going to try and keep it consistently updating as much as I can and it’ll also be posted over on my tumblr (gryffindorwriter) if you’d like to follow it there! I'm going to try and update both tumblr and Ao3 at the same time, though there might be times that I upload on tumblr first!
> 
> Thank you for reading!

This is a bad idea.

This is a _very_ bad idea.

Yet Armitage Hux still sneaks out of his quarters for the third time this month in the dead of night, fully dressed in his _best_ First Order uniform, hair combed and gelled to perfection, and makes his way to the meeting place the two of you had been meeting in ever since he’d first decided to give information to the Resistance.

He knows _that_ was a bad idea. He does it anyway.

It’s easily the most dangerous thing he’s ever done, other than that time he confronted Kylo and could have nearly been choked to death because of it. But among the First Order, traitors and spies are the worst of the worst and sometimes, late at night when Armitage is unable to sleep, he wonders how he, of all people, came to be one. His father would be particularly disappointed in him.

He can’t help but feel a little smug about the fact.

Armitage stalls as he hears the unmistakable sound of Stormtroopers around the next corner. They would not question him if they caught him, but he isn’t willing to risk it. Rumours travel fast, and he prefers not to be a part of them.

* * *

You’re already waiting for him when he arrives, and he finds himself a little disappointed at his tardiness. Usually he arrives first – and that gives him the time to ensure that he looks proper and regal before you show up. He always looks proper, it’s a requirement of his job and his position, but he always likes to make sure. To double check.

It isn’t like he’s trying to impress you or anything, not at all. He just… he wants to make a good impression as a General. You’re the only person aware that he’s a spy, and he trusts you enough to know you wouldn’t tell a soul. It had been accidental, anyway, how you’d discovered his failing allegiance to the First Order – Hux had been conferring with Boolio when you had arrived early to get the very same information Hux had been sharing. You’d been sworn to secrecy, and while he hadn’t trusted you at first, he’d grown to over your last few meetings.

He didn’t have many good impressions of other people he’d met from the Resistance. You were the only exception.

“I thought you weren’t coming.”

Armitage raises an eyebrow at you. You’re sat on a large crate, swinging your legs. It’s your usual spot, but you look a little happier than usual today. You even look more comfortable than you usually do. He supposes, for a moment, that it’s because you’re used to meeting now, but then he notices your clothes. You’re dressed in your usual Resistance garb even though he’d sourced and given you First Order clothes at your last meeting, just on the chance that you were caught on the ship. He didn’t want to risk that. You, _clearly,_ did.

“I thought _you_ had agreed to wear the clothes I gave you.”

You shrug. “I forgot them.”

He narrows his eyes. You flash him a grin.

He moves to sit in his usual spot – a stack of crates beside yours. You can’t help but notice that still, he looks out of place, even though you’ve been meeting for a long while now. He’s so prim and proper compared to you, especially in _his_ First Order uniform. It’s all clean cut lines and straight edges. Your uniform is a little more lax. It’s softer, much more comfortable, if not a little scratchy at times.

“I told you last week,” you decide to offer an explanation. “I understand why you want me to wear it when we meet, but it feels weird putting it on– and _yes,_ I have tried it on. I just feel a little bit like a traitor. It’s bad enough that I have to fly one of your TIE fighters to and from our meetings so I’m not suspected or spotted. It’d just be like me asking you to wear something like this and to fly an X-wing. Would you do it?”

Armitage pauses, and then shakes his head. “No, that uniform looks awfully scratchy.”

His confidence to admit it makes you laugh, and rather irritatingly, his cheeks flush pink for a moment and he drops his head, eyeing the ground, a little embarrassed.

“Shall we get to it then? Give you the information you’re here for?”

“Uh-huh,” you nod and swing your legs again. “Go on. I’m listening. Spill the beans.”

“I’m not going to _say_ it.” He shakes his head and then pulls out a small device from the pocket of his coat and hands it to you. “That’s not how these things work, remember? Take it. That’s still how I’m giving you intel. It doesn’t feel as bad if I don’t say it directly.”

Grinning at him once more, you shrug a shoulder. “Hey, one day I’ll get you to say what you have to say out loud. I hate to break it to you, you’re still committing treason whether you speak the information or not. And it’d sure be a hell of a lot easier if you said it rather than coding it and putting it onto _this_ thing,” you say, holding up the device. “It’d save you time, too.”

Armitage throws you a look. “I let you _keep_ that thing. That’s risky enough.”

You pocket the device. He’s right. Usually, especially when you were getting the information from Boolio, you weren’t allowed to keep the messages on the device themself. Finn would usually transfer them straight to R2 who would do all the decoding. But times were different now, and somehow you got the messages directly from the source himself.

Most of all, you’re just thankful that Leia trusts you enough to go to the meetings on your own. Poe and Finn have always been apprehensive about it. Leia’s told them to be quiet about it more than once.

And then there was the fact that you’re talking so easily to a General of the First Order. That’s something that’s never not going to be strange. Over the last few months, though, you have, at least, found some sense of normality in it. Hux is different than anyone you know, but he was fun to talk to, and you’d found yourself looking forward to your meetings lately, though you’d never admit that to him.

"Well,” you make a move to stand. Your meetings never last too long. You always leave before they get awkward. “I should probably go. I’ve already been here too long.”

He stands with you and looks at you for a moment – he’s taller than you are, and he looks down at you, but it’s not in a patronising way. You don’t feel that with him. He’s made it clear that he doesn’t care if you win, that he only wants Kylo dead. But you can’t help but feel that there’s something else deep down inside him that disagrees with that.

Armitage nods. “Probably for the best. Same time in two weeks?”

“Only if the world doesn’t end before that.”

Against his better judgment, he smiles.

* * *

Armitage watches as you leave.

There’s a small window in your meeting room. His lips twitch as he sees you wave at him as you move your TIE fighter away from the _Steadfast._ And then you’re gone as quickly as you came. Secretly and entirely unseen. He spends only a moment more in the small room before sneaking back to his quarters, thinking over your brief meeting.

For some strange reason, he’s grown to rather enjoy the meetings.

He enjoys the feeling of rebellion. He enjoys the rush of adrenaline that gives him. And even though it’s dangerous, he knows that it has to be worth it one day. If Kylo ends up dead, if you win. If you lose but Kylo ends up dead anyway. He smiles at the simple thought, but finds himself strangely uncomfortable with the idea of the Resistance losing.

He supposes you must have had some control on that change of heart.

As he sits down on the edge of his bed, he lifts up his lamp and looks at the small numbers engraved on the bottom of it – a frequency that nobody else knows but the two of you, for emergencies only. For times when he’d need to give you life-saving information, if the time ever arose. A reminder of everything he’s risking. You had your set meeting days, but this was different. He only hopes that he never has the occasion to use it.

For some strange reason, the idea of you hurt is one he finds rather unpleasant.

He’ll have to do something about that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux finds himself strangely fascinated by you, a Resistance fighter and pilot, even though he knows he shouldn’t. You know that there’s much more to him than you see on the surface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh, wow! Thank you so much for the incredible response on the first part of this. I wasn’t expecting that at all – both on tumblr and on Ao3. I very much appreciate it, and I’m loving writing this fic so I’m glad you’re enjoying reading it too! As of right now, we’re still following the TROS timeline, by the way. It’ll be pretty clear where this story is set when you read this part, just on the chance the first part confused anybody! Pieces of this story do and will diverge from canon, as it says in the tags!
> 
> Enjoy!

Poe practically jumps on you as soon as you’re back.

It’s pretty much impossible to avoid him when it looks like he’s been sitting around and waiting for you to get back for most of the night. It’s only just starting to get light again and his appearance surprises you.

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” You mutter, jumping down off the TIE fighter and starting to make your way towards the place you assume R2-D2 will be. “How long have you been waiting for me?”

Poe throws you a look. “Did you get anything new? What did they say?”

You hold up the device. “You’ll find out soon enough yourself.”

He joins you, wanting to be there when the message is decoded. He’s been there for most of them, you remember. When you’d started getting messages, he and Finn had been there alongside you in the Falcon getting them from Boolio, and then it had just become you. He was bound to be a little jealous. And it just as easily could have been him that ended up accidentally discovering Hux as the spy – you’re glad it was you. You know that Poe wouldn’t have accepted working with Hux as easily as you.

“So, are you going to tell us who the spy is yet?” Poe asks as you round a corner. He’s been asking ever since. “You’re going to have to tell us one day. You know that?”

It’s a little brighter in here, and you want nothing more than to ignore Poe’s question and head to bed to get a few hours sleep in, but you have a feeling that whatever is on the disk is undoubtedly going to change that for you. Running on a low amount of sleep is nearly a crucial factor to being in the Resistance, and you’re used to it. As is dealing with a very persistent Poe Dameron.

“No,” you shake your head at him. “They don’t want anybody to know. And for good reason, Poe. If you were a traitor and a spy, you wouldn’t want people to know that it was you, would you?”

“You make a good point,” Poe shrugs, just as you set eyes on R2.

“R2, good morning! We’ve got some new intel. You ready to decode for us?”

He beeps, and you smile and connect the device.

* * *

You’re not smiling anymore when you stand in front of the entire Resistance with Poe, the decoded message from Hux still running through your mind. You suspected what it was going to be, but you still feel like you’re in shock. And part of you wishes that Hux had at least warned you, told you that this message was going to be a big one.

But he’d said it himself: he felt like less of a traitor when he didn’t say it out loud.

You decide to let Poe be the one to break the news. If he does, you don’t feel as bad in being the one to deliver it.

“We’ve decoded the intel from the First Order spy,” Poe says, making a point to look at you, “and it confirms the worst. Somehow Palpatine returned.”

The unrest heard throughout the Resistance sends chills through you.

“Wait, do we believe this?” Rose, standing beside you, doesn’t sound so sure.

“It cannot be. The Emperor is dead.”

“Dark signs. Cloning. Secrets only the Sith knew.”

“He’s been planning his revenge,” Poe continues. “His followers have been building something for years. The largest fleet the galaxy’s ever known. He calls it The Final Order. In sixteen hours, attacks on all three worlds begin. The Emperor and his fleet have been hiding in the unknown regions on a world called Exegol.”

R2 beeps and Threepio places a hand on him, and then speaks. “Exegol does not appear on any star chart. But legend describes it as the hidden world of the Sith.”

You notice that Rey has disappeared, though before you can get a chance, people’s words are being directed at you. They’re angry, some of them. As if they aren’t happy with you, and the relief you felt briefly before at not being the one to deliver the news is gone at the sound of their voices.

“You’ve spoken with the spy, why didn’t they tell you where Exegol is?”

“Did they tell you anything else?”

“What’s the point of meeting with a spy when they’re telling you things we’ve already suspected for _months_? Are we sure you’re even meeting with him? Maybe you’re lying.”

Poe steps forward. “Hey, don’t do that. Don’t blame her for something she has no control over. We can’t let ourselves sink to that level.”

But you don’t want him to have to take the brunt of their hatred. You step up beside him and look around at the people that are blaming you for not knowing more. You don’t know why you instantly feel like defending Hux, the spy, but you do it anyway. Without hesitance. You feel defensive at the Resistance acting like he’s never given them anything worthwhile. At the implication that you’re not even meeting with him. You don’t have a TIE fighter for no reason. You don’t have First Order clothes for no reason, even if you don’t wear them. You haven’t been risking your life for _months_ for no reason.

“You all have to understand that this spy, they’re doing this because they want to help us. They’re giving us all this information and risking their life as they do it. They gave me everything they could, and they have been for _months_ now. If they knew where Exegol was, don’t you think they would have told me too?”

There’s silence.

“We know all that they’re willing to share. We need to be grateful that they’re sharing anything with us at all. Now, we have a confirmation on what we’ve suspected. We have more meetings planned. Wherever Exegol is, we’ll find it. You just have to trust me – and trust the spy like I do.”

* * *

Finn had been the one to come and ask you to join them on their journey to Pasaana.It hadn’t been a difficult decision to make, even though you knew it would be dangerous. You assumed that Rey had asked him to ask you because of your connection with the spy but as you join Chewie, Finn and Poe at the Falcon, you realise you’re clearly wrong.

“You were right before,” Rey says, walking towards you. “I’m gonna pick up Luke’s search for Exegol. I’m gonna start where his trail went cold – the forbidden desert of Pasaana.”

She never goes on missions with any of you. You’ve never minded. She’s needed to stay back on Ajan Kloss and train, and you, Finn and Poe have always had it covered. And with Chewie, too - that wookiee can kick some major ass when he needs to, and he can fly a ship extremely well. You know he’s still getting used to a world without Han, and you’re adjusting to that too, you all are, even though it’s been a while now. But you figure that Chewie getting out there into the world and helping others helped him even more.

“Yeah, I know. We’re going with you.” Poe says the words rather nonchalantly and then walks on past her, leaving you outside with a confused Rey. “Chewie, you get that compressor fixed?”

She looks between you and Finn. “I need to go alone.”

“Yeah, alone with friends.”

“It’s too dangerous.”

“Are you forgetting that I was talking to a First Order spy on their ship last night? That I have been for months?” You give Rey a look, and you see her resolve crumble a little. There’s not much she can say to that. “Dangerous is easy. I know dangerous like the back of my hand. We all do. We’re willing to risk it.”

Finn nods in agreement. “We go together.”

Chewie agrees. BB-8 beeps. C3-PO speaks. Rey has no other choice.

You head onto the ship with Finn soon after to make final checks and ensure that everything is ready for the mission. You’ve never been to Pasaana before, though you’ve heard stories about it – your parents had many stories to tell you when you were young, and you savoured the little memories you had of them.

Finn starts to head towards the cockpit and you join him.

“What about Rose? She’s not coming?”

Finn shakes his head. “Leia’s asked her to stay back. And I think, after last year, getting stuck on that First Order ship, nearly _dying_ at the hands of Stormtroopers… I think she’s just happy to stay in a place she feels safe for a while. You know? Well– maybe you don’t.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Maybe I don’t? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” Finn continues, a little reluctantly, “that you’ve never been one for staying in a safe place, ever since I met you. You’ve always been up there flying or the first one jumping into danger. You didn’t even hesitate when I asked you to come with us just now. You’re flying a damn TIE fighter to and from the First Order every few weeks to get intel from a spy. When you go and meet with that spy, you’re risking _everything._ Even the stories you told me about your childhood. That doesn’t sound safe to me.”

He’s right, you realise. And you can’t say otherwise. You’ve never been one to steer on the safe side of things, though there is always an air of apprehension about your decisions. Even in deciding to meet with Hux… and Hux, he’d probably be disappointed to hear that you were travelling with Rey – you know that the First Order want her more than anything. That, in travelling with her, you put yourself in danger, and strangely, you’ve noted that Hux doesn’t seem to like the idea of you in danger – hence the First Order clothes and the TIE fighter.

But you want to win. He wants Kylo dead, and you want the Resistance to win. And now that Palpatine is back… winning has never been more important.

* * *

For Armitage, he always feels a little tense before big meetings with all the leaders of the First Order. He used to feel comfortable there, like he belonged. Like he was one day going to be in the place of Kylo Ren, leading them all. But times have changed and now, as he sits with all the other members of the First Order, he feels a sense that he doesn’t belong. He’d rather be anywhere else.

Kylo enters the room then and throws something on the table, and Armitage sucks in a deep breath. He knows the Ovissian – he’s familiar, and he’s trying everything not to cringe at the sight of Boolio’s head. Fear spikes through his veins. He tries not to focus on the blood that pools on the table beneath him.

Kylo found him. And now he’s dead. One of the only two people that knew about him being the spy, dead on the table in front of him. You’re the only one left. He doesn’t like the thought that enters his mind about Kylo finding you. About him coming into a meeting one day and seeing your head on the table.

He tears his gaze away from Boolio just as Kylo begins to speak.

“We have a spy in our ranks who just sent a message to the Resistance. It’s likely they’ve been sending messages for months without us knowing. This– this creature has been helping. But he refused to give up the name of the traitor.”

He takes a sharp breath, and then steadies himself as he sees the eyes of Allegiant General Pryde fall on him. He must not reveal himself, nor must he be suspected. As far as Kylo Ren knows, General Hux is still the same man he’s always known. The one loyal to the cause, loyal to the First Order. But he doesn’t find himself fearing what Ren would do to him if he discovered he was the spy– no, the head of Boolio makes him fear something different.

Something worse.

“Whoever this traitor is, they won’t stop us,” he continues. “With what I’ve seen on Exegol, the First Order is about to become a true empire.”

Armitage watches him carefully, though his unease seeps through his facade and he’s unable to stop it. Kylo’s new mask is… different. It frightens him a little, though he’d never admit that.

“I sense unease about my appearance, General Hux.”

Several pairs of eyes turn to look at him.

“About the mask? No, sir. Well done.”

For the remainder of the meeting, he tries to act normally. To not seem suspicious _or_ uneasy. Like the good General everybody still thinks he is, even when Kylo uses the force on the man who doubts him. But then Kylo Ren says several words that make him feel even more uneasy than he did about the mask.

“My Knights and I are going hunting for the scavenger.”

Because he knows that you will be with her.

* * *

He closes and locks the door of his quarters behind him and hurries over to the lamp to retrieve the frequency from underneath it. He’s breathing rather heavily, and he doesn’t know if you would class this as an _emergency_ but he wants to try and warn you any way he can. You probably already know that there are spies in the galaxy that are sympathetic to the First Order and _will_ share the location of the scavenger, and by extension, _you_ if you’re spotted.

But you don’t know that Kylo Ren is actively looking.

He tries you once, and then he tries you again. But there’s nothing, just fuzzing on the other side of the receiver. He squeezes the device tight in his hand. The one time he uses the frequency, the one time he wants to reach you, you don’t answer! He wants to throw it at the wall, but then it would break and he’d never be able to contact you again, and he can’t risk that. He can’t risk _you_ trying to contact him and him not answering when you might need advice. Or help, even.

He’s surprised at the thought. Him, offering you help or advice. It’s an entirely different side to him being a spy, and he’s not sure how he feels about it. Giving you and, by extension, the Resistance information is one thing… but helping you out of a sticky situation… directly saving you from the Resistance… he’s not sure if he’d have the heart to do such a thing.

He likes to think he would.

Armitage tries to reach you again, just to be sure.

Your lack of answer is the only confirmation he needs that you’re with the scavenger.

He wants to warn you. He doesn’t know why he feels so strongly about warning you, but he wants to. Perhaps it’s got something to do with the fact that you’re the only person he truly trusts. But before he gets the chance, there’s a knock on his door.

Hiding the receiver and placing the lamp back on the bedside table on the chance it’s Allegiant General Pryde, Hux opens the door to an officer standing outside of it.

“What is it?” He enquires.

“Kylo Ren, sir. He’s found the scavenger on Pasaana. Allegiant General Pryde wanted you to know that he’s gone to the planet to seek her and her companions out. That you should be ready for when they return.”

He thanks them, closes the door and then swears.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux finds himself strangely fascinated by you, a Resistance fighter and pilot, even though he knows he shouldn’t. You know that there’s much more to him than you see on the surface.
> 
> This work contains spoilers from The Rise of Skywalker. It's advised you don't read if you haven't seen the film!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas Eve! Again, thank you so much for the lovely response on this fic so far. I’m genuinely having the best time writing it so it’s so lovely to hear that you guys are enjoying it too. I feel like this chapter really gets into the storyline and is the biggest sort of sneak at what’s coming up in the next few chapters! This was an absolute blast to write. I hope you have just as much fun reading it as I did writing it.

Pasaana is unlike any place you’ve ever seen. As you wander around, you feel like there’s too much to even see. Too much to even take in, but you try to take it all in anyway. The music, the dancing, you’re smiling and you can’t help but think about how this place is _exactly_ like the stories you heard as a child.

For a festival that’s only held every 42 years, you can’t believe your luck.

You know it’s not why you’re here. That you’re here for a more important mission. You don’t even notice your receiver buzzing away at your side because you’re too enthralled in all of the music and the pure joy in the air – _and_ too busy trying to get information out of the locals.

There’s a necklace safely placed around your neck from one of the locals when things start to go wrong. Rey runs up to you just as you rejoin Finn, Poe, Threepio and Chewie. She looks panicked, and you instantly feel on edge.

“We have to go back to the Falcon. Now.”

“Why?”

“It’s Ren.”

There isn’t even a moment of hesitation when it comes to her words. You know that she’s right. You trust her. She’s told you before about the Force connection she has with him, and the group of you take off running instantly, back towards where you left the Falcon.

You run straight into the back of Finn when you’re spotted by the Stormtrooper.

“Hold it right there! I’ve located the Resistance fugitives. All units report to–“

You flinch as a dart comes out of nowhere and takes him down.

Whoever it is, you don’t recognise them, but as they tell you to follow them, you all realise you don’t have a choice. The Stormtroopers – Ren himself – know where you are. And someone is here, willing to help, and you take the offer. The fun of the festival is long gone, the only happy memory of it the necklace still around your neck, as you step onto a transport in an attempt to leave and hide.

But the smile that had gone from your face doesn’t take long to return when your savior removes their mask and reveals himself to be General Lando Calrissian. And you know, that even for a short amount of time, you’re in good hands – _safe_ hands.

* * *

When you finally make your way to Ochi’s ship, your shoes are filled with sand and you’ve never wished for a long drink of water more than you have now. Pasaana is _hot,_ especially after flying over it on speeders _and_ being stuck underneath the sand itself.

Finn helps you up the rocks, along with Poe, until you’re finally at the ship. But with Rey gone again, there’s worry in you as you board the ship and take it all in for the first time. It’s dusty, and you want to sneeze as soon as the door opens. But you slowly and reluctantly start searching while Finn and Poe attempt to get the ship running – you highly doubt it will. It looks like nothing but an old rust bucket.

You’re lifting a sheet off of something to check what’s underneath when your elbow knocks into your receiver, attached to your waist. You’d forgotten it was even there, but you pull it off your belt and check the screen anyway, cringing as you see three missed calls on the screen.

And there’s only one person who knows the frequency they’re on.

“Damn it,” you mutter under your breath. Hux had tried to reach you – probably to warn you about the impending arrival of the First Order on Pasaana, and you hadn’t even noticed.

You know there probably isn’t a chance of an answer, but you try and reach himonce, and then twice for luck, just in case. Both times, there’s no reply. You can’t blame him. How he even knows you’re with Rey and the others, you don’t know. Probably some sort of gut feeling, but you can’t help but smile at least a little at the fact that he’d likely tried to warn you.

Even if it hadn’t worked.

“Chewie, tell Rey we gotta go!” Finn’s voice comes from the cockpit.

Wanting to be of use, you holster the receiver again beside your blaster and join Chewie. Wherever Rey is, whatever she’s doing, you have no idea. But you can hear the urgency in Finn’s voice and you know leaving now is important.

When the both of you leave the ship and start to run after her, neither of you notice the Knights of Ren hiding and watching you from the other side of the rock.

* * *

You can’t fight the Stormtroopers or the Knights of Ren when you and Chewie are captured. You try, for a brief moment, but there are too many of them and too little of you. Even if you yelled for help, you know it wouldn’t make much of a difference. And so you allow yourself to be captured, with no other choice.

They take your belt and confiscate your blaster and your receiver before pushing you onto the transport with Chewie. One Stormtrooper pushes you a little too forcefully and you fall to the ground, knees slamming into the hard metal of the floor. You wince and crawl to the side of the ship where you sit, arms bound and staring at your captors.

This is _not_ how you envisioned today would go.

* * *

Armitage is sitting, staring out at space and entirely lost in thought about the recent news that you _are_ with the scavenger on Pasaana when an officer comes up to him.

“General Hux, a transport has arrived back from Pasaana.”

He turns and looks at them, eyebrows raised. “And?”

“It’s brought back valuable prisoners.”

On the outside, he smiles as he stands and follows the officer to where the prisoners are being held. But on the inside, he’s crossing his fingers and hoping it’s not you that’s been caught. He’d missed you when you tried to contact him, too busy talking with Allegiant General Pryde, but now he wishes he’d been able to answer. To warn you, to talk to you even just a little. He doesn’t know what he would have said, but anything would have been better than the silence.

If you’re being held prisoner, he doesn’t know if he can ever forgive himself for not trying at least one more time to try and contact you. An attempted warning is nothing if it doesn’t work.

He’s holding his breath as the doors open. His eyes first fall on the wookiee – the one he recognises, famous for flying with Han Solo for years before, but then it’s like his heart stops in his chest as he sees you, standing behind him, pushed forward by the Stormtroopers. You look tired, and there’s flecks of sand in your hair from the Pasaana desert and he instantly becomes defensive as he notices the grip the Stormtroopers have on you.

He wants to say something.

He can’t say anything.

Briefly, Armitage meets your eyes. He tries to convey _something_ but he knows he’s probably not doing a very good job at it. In your eyes, he can see hatred mixed with fear, and he doesn’t like it at all. He hopes the hatred isn’t directed towards him.

“A wookiee and a Resistance soldier?” He puts his best General voice on, and hopes you’ll know the difference. “Keep them here. Don’t do anything with them until I fetch Allegiant General Pryde. He will decide what to do with the prisoners.”

* * *

He returns not long after with Allegiant General Pryde in tow.

“Take the beast to interrogation six,” he says, as he looks at the wookiee. And then, he turns to you. His lips twitch up ever so slightly and Armitage can tell what he’s thinking. If he were braver, he would say something, do something. But he’s not that brave.

Armitage’s hand balls into a fist at his side. You notice.

“As for the girl… interrogation seven. I feel we’ll get more out of her than we will out of the wookiee. When Ren returns, I’m sure he’ll be interested to talk to her.”

With that, Pryde walks away and leaves Armitage standing with the Stormtroopers, the wookiee and you. Immediately, they start escorting the wookiee one way, but before they can start to pull you away, he steps forward.

“I’ll take her and interrogate her myself before Kylo Ren returns,” he says simply. “She might be willing to speak more openly to someone not hiding behind a mask like yours.” He fixes them with a look, and they all disperse, leaving him alone with you. Gently, he grabs your arm and leads you down a different corridor.

He hadn’t been expecting to see you again so soon. It hadn’t even been that long. But clearly, you had other plans rather than waiting till your next meeting. Most of all, though, he was glad that you were safe – or as safe as you could be trapped on a First Order ship. At least you weren’t in the transport that the scavenger had destroyed.

“What are you doing?” You speak through gritted teeth. “Are you actually planning on interrogating me? You know I’m not going to say a damn thing.”

“Of course not,” he replies. “I’m getting you out.”

You force him to a stop, not caring that you’re in the middle of a corridor where anybody could see you, and shake your head. “No, I’m not leaving without Chewie.”

“ _Chewie?_ ”

“The wookiee. I’m not leaving without him. Take me back to him, lock me up, I don’t care. I’m not leaving this ship unless he’s with me.”

Armitage takes a deep breath and then pulls you out of the corridor and into a small side alcove, out of the view of the cameras that cover almost every angle in the ship. “If you don’t escape, they will torture you for answers. Kylo Ren will return and he can use the force. He can get answers out of you easier than he can with a wookiee. They don’t need to translate your words. I’m trying to help you here. Would you just let me? I’m not good at this.”

“I don’t fear death _or_ torture.”

“Oh? Well, I do. Now let’s go.”

He takes your arm again and starts to try and push you out of the alcove, but you stay firmly stood in the same spot. You don’t intend on leaving without Chewie, not even if you end up dead in the process. You fix Hux with a glare.

“I am _not_ leaving without him. If you want to help me, take me to him.”

Now, he was getting annoyed. “Why are you so _stubborn_? I don’t just help anybody.”

“I don’t care.” You keep your stance. “Take me to Chewie or let me be tortured and interrogated by Kylo when he comes back. I _don’t_ care. There is no way I’m leaving Chewie up here on his own just because _you_ want to help me escape. I’m not going. Unless you can help the both of us escape, stop trying.”

He stares at you then, for a moment. His eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes are dark. But then you look at him with something different in your eyes, and you mutter a small “ _Please”_ and he can’t let you down.

He’s never had a friendship like the one you seem to have with the wookiee. He envies it, just a little. And so he sighs deeply and shakes his head at you.

“You are _impossible._ You are aware of this?”

“I have been told that before. By you, I think.”

He shrugs. “That would make sense.”

Armitage sighs and shakes his head. He crosses his arms over his chest and looks around. He doesn’t want to _actually_ take you to interrogation. He knows that won’t end well. But what options does he have? You won’t allow him to help you because of your… _Chewie_ and he realises now that you won’t budge, no matter how much he pushes.

“What am I supposed to do with you if you won’t let me help then?”

You shrug a shoulder. “Lock me up. Wherever Chewie is, lock me up. If anyone says anything, tell them that I refused to say anything so you’re waiting until Ren is back.”

He hates to admit it, but it’s not actually a bad idea.

Well, he doesn’t like the idea of locking you up and imprisoning you on the ship, but really, he’s been left with no other options.

He just hopes he can manage to get you and Chewie _both_ out before Ren returns.

“Fine, let’s go.” He starts to make a move but you reach out and grab his sleeve with your hand – it’s a little awkward considering you’re still cuffed, but it works in pulling him to another stop. Armitage turns around and raises his eyebrows at you. “What is it this time?”

“When I was on Pasaana – you tried to contact me. I didn’t hear the receiver, I didn’t even check it until it was too late. But… why were you trying to reach me?” It’s one thing that’s been bugging you all day, even though you think you already know the answer.

Armitage pauses. He glances at you, and then down at the ground. He can practically feel his cheeks turning pink and he huffs as he finally meets your eyes again.

“I was trying to warn you that Ren was looking for you and your friends. I was _hoping_ that it’d ensure your safety. If I could warn you, you could get out of there before he knew even where you were. But then he found you, and it was too late.”

You smile despite the fact that it’s just confirmation to you – it was what you suspected, him trying to warn you. “So there _is_ a heart in there after all, Hux. I never would have picked you to be someone to warn others of impending danger.”

He narrows his eyes. “Yes, well… me neither.”

“Desperate times, desperate measures,” you offer.

“Something like that, I’m sure.”

With that, you allow him to move you from the alcove again and finally take you to be locked up. You’re not excited about the fact, and you’re not particularly confident that you’ll be rescued either, but you’re hoping. Hope is all you have.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux finds himself strangely fascinated by you, a Resistance fighter and pilot, even though he knows he shouldn’t. You know that there’s much more to him than you see on the surface.
> 
> This work contains spoilers from The Rise of Skywalker. It's advised you don't read if you haven't seen the film!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas to all of you who might be reading on the day I post this! As a Christmas gift, we’ve sort of reached the end of the TROS canon timeline, and I assume if you’re reading this fic and have seen the film, that will come as good news. It’ll still be following the rest of the TROS timeline, but the canon story of Hux will differ from here on out, which is exciting!

The hours tick by and after several of them on your knees, hands tied behind your back next to Chewie, you’re starting to lose feeling in all of your limbs. You haven’t had a drink since before Pasaana, you’re parched and the only thing really holding you up is the fact that your arms are bound to a ring behind you to keep you up straight.

Hux hadn’t been too happy about it when he’d left you here.

He’d paused outside the door and apologised to you before he dragged you in and, ignoring Chewie’s noises of protest, locked you up and left. You’re uncomfortable, but you don’t mind _too_ much. He’s doing his job – the job you’d practically forced him to do. And you’d rather be here with Chewie so he knew he wasn’t alone than branded an escapee and likely chased back to Ajan Kloss.

You squeeze your eyes shut just as you hear the sound of a blaster outside.

The door opens, and you let out a breath of relief.

Finn runs to help untie you and Poe goes to Chewie.

“I didn’t think anybody was coming,” you admit as he unties your hands. “I thought you thought we were both dead. I didn’t see the other transport explode, but the Stormtroopers were talking about it.”

“We weren’t. We _did_ think you were dead. But then Rey sensed you and we had to.”

He helps you stand up on wobbly legs and then gives you a look. You know what the look means – this escape isn’t going to be an easy one. You take a deep breath to steady yourself and then take off running away from your restraints.

This wasn’t the plan. As far as you know, you assumed they thought you dead. And Hux – he has no idea they’re here. Has no idea that they’re even breaking you out right now. As you run with them, you can’t help the guilt that sneaks its way into you. You’re leaving without telling him.

Sans blaster, you and Chewie take cover behind Finn and Poe as they lead the way out and into the corridors you’d walked down with Hux hours ago. When Poe kicks you a blaster from a dead Stormtrooper, you don’t hesitate to fire it at others running towards you, blasters aimed to kill.

You run beside Poe, ahead of Finn and Chewie, taking down Stormtroopers as you go. The feeling in your legs and arms has returned – thankfully – and your heart is racing with adrenaline. So much so that you don’t even see the Stormtrooper to the side of you until it’s too late – until Poe’s falling to the ground in front of you, clutching his arm, and you’re falling to the ground beside him, an aching, burning pain in your side as you land. The Stormtroopers surround you.

This would have been a good time to be wearing that First Order uniform… or even to have convinced Hux to help you _and_ Chewie escape so that they never would have had to come and find you in the first place.

Instead, you let yourself lie on the ground and stare up at the white helmets around you. And if this is the way you go… at least you weren’t going to go out at Kylo Ren’s hand _or_ spilling Hux’s secret.

* * *

Armitage’s breath catches in his throat when an officer comes and informs him and Allegiant General Pryde of not one but two things: they’ve caught two fugitives who were travelling with the scavenger, and with them, the wookiee and the soldier – _you._

He’s managed to perfect a good front so that he doesn’t look as surprised as he is.

“Two of them were injured when they were caught, but the wookiee and FN-2187 were not,” the officer continues. “We await your command, Allegiant General.”

His front slips a little.

 _Two of them were injured_ and one of them was you.

How badly? He should have forced you to escape. He shouldn’t have given you a choice. He should have some up with another idea – something _smarter_ that didn’t involve you having to run for an escape.

And now there were _more_ of you to question.

You swore that nobody else knew about his position as the spy, but part of him doubts that a little. Because there has to be _someone_ you told. And the likelihood of one of them being the pilot or FN-2187 is good. He cringes at the thought of being revealed just as the doors open in front of him and you’re all hauled in.

The Stormtroopers pull you to a stop in front of Allegiant General Pryde and himself. He can’t help but notice that you look like you’re in the worst shape of all of them, and Armitage doesn’t miss the blood and the hole on the side of your shirt – the injury the officer had mentioned. He notices the other man standing beside you sporting a similar injury on his arm. There’s a look of immense pain on your face. He doesn’t even know how you’re standing with an injury like that.

The blood spikes in his veins, and he wishes he could grab the nearest blaster and shoot the Stormtrooper holding you so viciously in his grip. But that thought… where on earth could it have come from?

“Allegiant General, the scavenger’s not with them.”

And he speaks without even thinking. “Take them away. Terminate them.”

His eyes flicker to the back of Pryde’s head and he narrows his eyes.

Then, his eyes meet yours and he knows he can’t crumble. He has a facade he has to keep, and you have the same. But there are unspoken words just in your eyes and he knows then that he can’t let them go through with this.

He’s not brave.

He’s never been particularly courageous.

But if there were ever a time… it had to be now.

* * *

Your hands are bound in front of you once more, and you’re slumping to the side a little in an attempt to eleviate the pain in your side from where you’d been blasted. Beside you, Finn stands and beside him, Poe and Chewie.

There’s no getting out of this one.

As soon as the Allegiant General had made his decision, the stormtroopers had led the four of you away to what you assumed was an execution room. You hadn’t noticed that Hux was following them until you snuck a peek as you turned a corner.

Was he just here to watch?

But then you hear the Stormtroopers raise their weapons.

And then… he speaks.

“Actually, I’d like to do this myself.”

Something inside of you breaks.

God, you wish you could say something. You wish you could say _anything_ to him. But doing so would blow his cover and you can’t do that to him. You can’t. Even if he’s about to kill you – what good would it do? It’s been months that you’ve been meeting and talking, and months since you’ve gotten to know each other, and you know what blowing his cover would mean – almost certain death for him. It’s not what he’d want. Not at all. You try not to focus on the fact that soon enough you’ll be dead at the hands of a man you were beginning to build a friendship with… or at least something like a friendship. Dead at the hands of a man who had risked everything to let you win. A man who, hours earlier, had wanted to help you escape.

It’s definitely best not to focus on that. Poe seems to have you covered as he looks at Finn beside him.

“What were you gonna tell Rey before?”

You glance over at Poe, eyebrows furrowed.

“You still on that?” Finn.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Is this a bad time?”

“It sort of is a bad time, Poe.”

You nudge Finn with an elbow. “We’re about to _die,_ guys. Let’s not do this right now, okay–” You pause to wince at the pain in your side. “Just shut up and stop talking or we’re–”

The blaster sounds – once, twice, three times and then a fourth, and you flinch.

But the impact never comes.

You’re the first to spin around despite the pain, and Finn, Poe and Chewie join you soon after. On the floor lie three dead Stormtroopers. Hux is holding one of their blasters, and it almost looks like he wants to smile. Then, he meets your eyes and speaks the words you never thought you’d hear him say.

“I’m the spy.”

And just like that, the secret is out and you can’t stop smiling.

The others are a little more confused.

“What!?” Poe.

“ _You!?_ ” Finn.

“We don’t have much time.” Hux _still_ isn’t having any of it.

Then, they turn to you.

“Wait a second,” Poe starts, “ _this_ is the guy you’ve been talking to and meeting up with secretly for _months_ to get information? You’ve been meeting up with _him_? He’s the one that gave you a First Order uniform and a TIE fighter!? I knew it!”

Finn turns to him, eyebrows furrowed. “No, you did not. But– wait, no, seriously? You’ve been meeting up secretly with Hux for months? If you told us, we wouldn’t even believe you. But you didn’t even say a thing – Rose and I had a bet on whether you’d break or not.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes at the both of them. “I was keeping a promise.”

Hux smiles a little at that. “We don’t have long. Follow me, all of you. I know where the Millennium Falcon is. You have to go.”

* * *

Poe, Finn and Chewie take advantage of the freedom and run off ahead in the direction Armitage tells them to, but running is a little more difficult for you and he can see that. He drops back, wraps an arm around your shoulders.

It feels strange, he notices. He’s never been a particularly affectionate person. Yet here he is, saving your life and the lives of your friends and actively helping you to safety. And all with an arm around you so he makes sure you’re safe. He’s being braver than he’s ever been in his entire life and he feels a little like he’s in shock because of it.

“I thought you were really gonna kill us all for a second there,” you mutter as you run around a corner. You’re ignoring the pain in your side, knowing that you can be patched up on the Falcon as long as you make it there.

Armitage snorts. “I’m a _spy_ and I’m betraying my own universe to do it. Killing you would just be counterproductive, wouldn’t it?”

“Oh, so we’re all just products of your need to be good?”

“It doesn’t sound very good when you say it like that.”

You all round another corner and Armitage runs ahead to open a door.

“I’ve shut down the impeders. You’ve got seconds.”

Poe and Finn stop and look out of the window, smiling. “There she is,” Poe hums. “She’s a survivor.”

And on the hangar floor sits the Millennium Falcon. You breathe a sigh of relief and start to follow Finn, Poe and Chewie out the door – but you briefly stop to let Threepio, BB-8 and a new droid you’ve never seen before out ahead of you.

Then, as you go to move again, Hux holds out a hand and stops you, tugging on your sleeve and pulling you to a stop. It reminds you of when he’d tried to leave when he tried to free you hours ago, and you smile at the memory. It all worked out.

His words, though, surprise you.

“Wait, wait– blast me in the arm. Quick.”

You stop. Finn, Poe and Chewie have run ahead of you but you’re in no rush to follow them, at least not now. Not now that Hux had just asked you to blast him. Hux stops in front of you and stands up tall. He points to his arm.

“ _What?_ I’m not going to blast you.”

“Or they’ll know.”

You don’t know why. You don’t know _why_ you can’t blast him. It must have something to do with the fact that he’s just saved your life, or at least you suppose so. Finn or Poe, or even Chewie, would do it without hesitation. But it’s you that he’s asked, and you can’t do it. You shake your head.

“No, just come with us.”

He furrows his eyebrows. He hadn’t even _thought_ of that. “No. No, I can’t. That’ll just jeopardise you and your safety. Besides, if I stay here I’ll be able to pass you more information. So just blast me, will you?”

“Would you blast me?”

Your question takes him off guard. You can see it in his face, in his eyes, in the way his straight standing posture slumps a little. You can see the conflict in his eyes and the way his First Order facade drops, and then how he shakes his head.

“Then I can’t blast you.” You hold out a hand towards him. “Whether I blast you or not, they’ll find out eventually that you’re the spy. There’s four of us, two of us are injured and there’s no way that we could have overpowered those Stormtroopers on our own. They’ll know it was you. If you go back there, you’ll die. And I don’t know why, but I don’t want you to die, Hux– _Armitage_ , I don’t want you to die. So come with us.”

Hux glances around the corridor. Down at the Millennium Falcon. Back at you.

“Come with _me._ ”

And he places his hand in yours.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux finds himself strangely fascinated by you, a Resistance fighter and pilot, even though he knows he shouldn’t. You know that there’s much more to him than you see on the surface.
> 
> This work contains spoilers from The Rise of Skywalker. It's advised you don't read if you haven't seen the film!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To start, thank you SO MUCH for 100 kudos! I did not expect to get that many at all, let-alone so fast. It's very much appreciated and I love seeing how you guys are enjoying the story. Thank you, thank you, thank you for leaving a kudos if you did!
> 
> I’m still in awe from the response I got on the last chapter. I was hoping you guys would enjoy the little twist – the twist we all wanted and deserved. I hope you continue to enjoy as we drift off into a new Hux storyline! This is the longest part so far, but also the part I’m most nervous about because I’m drifting into territory with Hux where I don’t have a film to base it on... so I hope I can do him justice!

It feels _good_ to be back on the Falcon. You feel like you haven’t been on it in forever, even though it’s only been a matter of hours. It feels comfortable, almost like home after being locked up in the First Order destroyer for so long.

What _doesn’t_ feel comfortable is Rey dabbing with some sort of cream at the blaster wound on your side. You wince and flinch away from her, and your hand balls into a fist around your coat in your hand – you’re annoyed that it’s ruined now, thanks to the blaster hole on the side of it. You’ve already lost your belt, blaster, comlink _and_ the necklace from Pasaana to the First Order, and now you have to lose one of your favourite coats to them too.

“That bloody hurts,” you hiss as Rey dabs it again.

She looks up at you with raised eyebrows. “I offered to heal it.”

“And you need to keep your strength. _No._ ”

You’re surprised she’s even kept her cool so much after the revelation on the Steadfast. If you’d just found out that Palpatine, _the_ Emperor Palpatine, was your Grandfather, you would be beside yourself. But you suppose she’s just trying to distract herself. That helping to patch up your wound is giving her mind something else to do but wander and think too deeply. You can’t blame her, and you’re getting the help you need, so you’re happy as long as she is. In pain, yes, but happy.

As she grabs a bandage and starts to wrap it around you, your eyes wander over to Hux, sitting across the room. He’s staring out of a small window at space as you barrel through it, heading to the ocean moon of Kef Bir to find the wayfinder.

He hasn’t spoken to you since you all boarded the Falcon and left the First Order behind. Part of you knows it’s because you’ve been with Rey the entire time, being patched up, but another part of you wonders differently. You wonder if he’s regretting it – regretting taking your hand in that corridor and letting you lead him away from the place he’s always known as home and into one of the places you called yours. You hope he isn’t. You have to believe he isn’t.

Rey notices you looking. “Hux, then,” she says, quietly so he doesn’t overhear.

You look back up at her. “What about him?”

She shrugs a shoulder. “Well, I never would have picked him to be the spy. I always assumed he entirely backed Kylo. And just by the look of him… he just… he wasn’t what I envisioned when we learnt you were talking to a spy in the First Order.”

“He hates Kylo. It’s the main reason he became a spy. But he wasn’t what I envisioned either,” you admit quietly. “I don’t think it could have been anyone else, though. It had to be him, it always had to be him.”

You look over at him again. If he hadn’t come with you now, you wonder if he’d be dead by now. If the First Order would have found out that he was the spy, what would they have done? If he hadn’t taken your hand… you don’t want to think about where he would be right now. What would have happened to him.

“He wasn’t going to come with me. He asked me to blast him in the arm, and he was planning on just acting like we escaped, like we blasted him and got away.”

“And you convinced him?”

You nod. “I don’t know how I managed to. But I did.”

Rey smiles. “I think it must take an awful lot of strength to not only spy on the First Order for the Resistance, but to leave them and travel with those people you’re spying for… You must trust him.”

“I do trust him.” There isn’t a second of hesitation in your words. It surprises you a little, how easily you can admit to trusting the man when you’re not even sure if he trusts you. But you suppose he would have stayed on the ship if he didn’t. And he didn’t stay. He came with you. Your eyes glance down at your hand, the hand he’d taken so you could lead him away, and you know instantly that he must trust you, at least in some capacity. He must.

* * *

When Rey is finished, she disappears to talk to Finn and try and fix the landing gear and you take the chance to join Hux and try and talk to him. He’s still sitting by the window, but instead of looking out at space he’s changed his mind and decided to stare at the closest wall of the Falcon instead. It feels a little like you’re meeting him again for the first time – not as General Armitage Hux of the First Order… but just as Armitage Hux. You wonder how he feels about it.

“Do you regret it?” You sink down into a seat close to him.

He turns to look at you. You notice that some of the gel in his hair has started to fail him – his usually proper and gelled back hair is falling out in places, and some of it has fallen down over his forehead. You’re filled with the urge to try and swoop it back up to where he usually likes it, but his reply changes your mind.

“Do I regret leaving the First Order? No. But I do regret leaving my life behind.”

You wince. “I’m sorry we couldn’t stop by your quarters on the way out.”

Hux looks back at the wall again. “My First Order uniforms would be of no use.”

You hadn’t even thought about the fact that he would likely have to don the Resistance uniform as soon as you all returned to Ajan Kloss. First, you have to land safely on Kef Bir, though, and Poe doesn’t seem so sure that’ll end well. Finn and Rey are trying their best to fix it while you rest.

“Well…” you glance at him again, “at least you’re not dead.”

He makes a noise that sounds _barely_ like a breathy laugh.

And then– from the cockpit, Poe yells. “You all might want to find something to hold onto! This landing is gonna be _rough!_ ”

Finn and Rey rejoin the both of you within moments and find seats and places to settle themselves, and you watch as Hux braces himself. Deciding to stay beside him, you do the same, grabbing onto the table in front of you and holding it tightly. Your side aches as you stretch it slightly and you know the landing won’t do it any good either, but there’s nothing you can do about that.

Your suspicions are confirmed as the Falcon slams into the surface of Kef Bir. The impact is so strong that your attempt at holding on fails, your hands slip off of the table and you barrel sideways and straight into Hux.

The Falcon skids to a stop. Everything is silent as you all try and remember how to properly breathe again and come to terms with the harsh landing. Then Poe and Chewie come running out of the cockpit.

You haven’t bothered to try and move from Hux’s side. You’re half leaning against him, and your side is screaming in pain. He doesn’t seem too bothered, and is staring down at the table with furrowed eyebrows and a look of displeasure on his face.

Poe looks over at you. “You good? You don’t look so good.”

Brushing it off, you wave a hand at him and finally gain the strength to sit up a little straighter. “I’m fine. That was just rougher than I was expecting– how’s your arm?”

He seems to have forgotten that he was even blasted and glances down at the bandage around his arm, and then he shrugs. “It’s bearable.”

Rey and Finn stand up and join him, both a little wobbly on their feet. You decide it’s best not to move, and Hux seems to think the same thing. He stays sat beside you, eyebrows furrowed as he looks around at all of you.

“Come on, let’s go and see what we can find,” Rey starts, and heads away towards the door, clearly eager to get out of the Falcon and searching for the wayfinder.

“We’ll stay here.” You suddenly speak up. “I don’t think we should leave him alone. And we don’t know who lives here or who saw the ship crash. We’ll stay behind.”

Poe narrows his eyes. “Crash _landed._ ”

“Are you sure?” Finn crosses his arms and looks at Hux. It’s clear that he doesn’t trust him very much, even after your escape, and you can’t blame him. But _you_ trust him, and that’s enough for you.

You nod. “Go. We’ll wait.”

* * *

When they’re all out of the ship, with Threepio, BB-8 and D-O in tow, you relax for what feels like the first time in forever. You slump a little against the seat and note that the pain in your side has calmed down to a gentle throb.

Sensing eyes on you, you look up to Hux.

“What’s the _real_ reason we stayed behind?” He questions.

“I don’t want to walk. I’m in pain. That landing… sucked. I lied to Poe.” You admit.

Your answer seems to surprise him.

“What did you think the real reason was?”

“That you, perhaps, don’t wish to be spotted with a First Order General.”

His answer makes sense, but you shake your head. “ _Ex_ -First Order General. You’re Resistance now. The second you took my hand back there, you renounced your title and came to join us,” you smile up at him. “Plus, if people did see us crash land, if they come to scope out the ship, I doubt they’d be as hesitant to blast you as I was. You, dressed in an unmistakable First Order uniform?”

“You make a good point.”

“Oh, I know.”

He looks down at your side. Your bandage is hidden by your shirt, but he can still remember where you were hit. “You said you were in pain. How bad is it? Can I do anything?”

“It’ll go away soon enough,” you shrug, and then smile. “But thank you.”

You both sit in silence for a few minutes, listening to the sound of wind outside the ship and both just taking some kind of solace in each others company, and eventually, Hux pushes himself to his feet. He looks out of place on the Falcon, you notice. Dressed in the First Order uniform. His hair has become even _more_ messy from the landing, and the gel has definitely failed him, with rogue bits of his red hair falling all over the place. It suits him – the less put together look. You expect that without the gel and a First Order uniform, when it’s replaced with a Resistance one, he’ll fit right in. Or, at least, you hope he does.

Hux glances around the ship, and then down to where you can feel a cool breeze wafting through the ship from where the others left the door open. He looks back at you and then brushes down the front of his uniform.

“I’m going to go and have a look.”

Slowly and carefully, you stand up to join him.

He opens his mouth to protest, but closes it just as quickly.

Soon, the two of you are standing looking out at the landscape of Kef Bir. It’s cold, windy, and you can feel some water spray from the ocean in the distance. But from where you’ve landed, you can’t see it. You can hear it though – rough, loud, hitting rocks, you assume. You can see the tracks in the grass from where the others walked through it, and the hill leading up to the top. You’re glad you didn’t try to conquer it.

“This place… it reminds me a bit of home,” you laugh briefly as you look out at the landscape. The cold, the water, the wind. You cross your arms across your chest in an attempt to keep warm.

Hux looks out at the sky above you. “Where’s home?”

“Arkanis.”

His head snaps towards you suddenly. “ _Where_?”

“Arkanis.” You turn to look at him “Do you know of it? It’s known for being an incredibly rainy planet. I can’t tell you how many days I got absolutely soaked just going outside on a day-to-day basis growing up there. Learning to fly there was more dangerous than joining the Resistance, in my opinion.”

Strangely, you notice that the look on his face has changed. He looks a little like he’s seen a ghost, and when you ask him if he’s okay, he panics and nods several times in quick succession. He breaks eye contact with you and stares out at the sky again. Then, it seems he crumbles and decides to confess.

“I grew up there too– well, in a way.” He hesitantly meets your eyes. “When the New Republic took over, my father and I escaped. I don’t know how old I was– five, maybe. It’s a blur, quite frankly. I wish I remembered more of it.” He realises he might be oversharing and stops himself. “I never expected you’d be from there too.”

“It’s turning out that we have a lot more in common than I originally thought.” You nudge him in the arm with your elbow, and he surprises you by looking down at you, a small smile on his lips. “I spent most of my life there. I only left… what, seven years ago? I joined the New Republic Defense Fleet, which is where I met Poe, and then soon after that I joined the Resistance. They needed pilots, and I could fly.”

He’s not surprised by that. “I’ve seen you fly. You know your way around a ship.”

“Years of training will do that to you,” you admit with a shrug. “Do you miss it? Arkanis?”

Hux shakes his head. “I don’t really remember enough of it to miss it. I did dream of going back there one day, But then I became a General, and there were more important things to do other than going to my home planet.”

“Like helping the Resistance by becoming a spy?”

His lips twitch again. “ _Precisely.”_

A thought enters your mind, though you stop yourself before you say it. _Maybe we could go back together one day?_ He wouldn’t be up for that. And you would understand. You both share a trust of one another. You both share respect for the other. But visiting a planet together? Let-alone the home planet of you both? It’s surely chaos in the making. And you haven’t known him for long enough to justify it.

Instead, you settle for something different.

“I hope we both get to go back there one day, then.”

And he surprises you.

“Perhaps… perhaps we’ll visit it together some day.”

You can’t stop the smile from making its way onto your face.

* * *

From the second Jannah and her tribe step onto the Millennium Falcon, you can sense their unease. At first, you don’t know why they look at Hux with fear in their eyes – you suspect it’s because of the uniform, because of his previous place in the First Order. Because they were aware of all he’d done. It’s only when they start to look at you strangely because they see you talking to him so casually that you realise it has to be something different.

Leaving Hux helping Poe and Chewie in attempting to fix the Falcon, you make your way over to Jannah. Finn claps you on the shoulder with a hand as he walks away, and you smile at him in return.

Jannah looks at you in the same strange way when she looks up and sees you. And when you carefully sit down by her and hold out a hand to introduce yourself, she seems even more surprised. Yet she shakes your hand and introduces herself in return. You sense a small moment of hesitance in her before she asks you the question you’ve been waiting for her to ask.

“General Hux – why is he with you? Finn told me he helped you. But I saw you before. You’re talking to him like he’s a friend of yours. Why? Don’t you know what he’s done?” Her words are accusatory, and you expect nothing less.

You glance over your shoulder to make sure he’s not there before you reply. “What Finn told you was right. He did help us. He’s been spying on the First Order, sending information to the Resistance through me, for months,” you begin to explain. “I know what he’s done. I know what he’s capable of. But I know who he is. He holds a hate for Kylo Ren in his heart just like we all do. He wants him to lose.”

She shakes her head at you. “How can that be enough?”

“It has to be. If we judged everybody on their past, this world would be even worse than it already is. Hux has done bad things… but he’s trying to do good now. I try to focus on that,” you admit. “I’m talking to him like he’s a friend because he is.”

You hear a shuffle behind you and spin around. And a few steps away, just exiting the cockpit, is Hux himself. He glances at you, and you see something in his eyes that you’ve never seen before. You find yourself smiling at him, and he smiles slightly in reply before disappearing off down the corridor.

“You can really trust him that easily?”

“In my eyes, and in his, he’s a member of the Resistance now. And I trust every member of the Resistance, no matter what role they have in it. He may still look like a First Order General to you, but soon enough he’ll be donning the Resistance colours. Fighting against those who he once fought for. And when that happens… that’s when everything will be enough. I trust that. I trust him.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux finds himself strangely fascinated by you, a Resistance fighter and pilot, even though he knows he shouldn’t. You know that there’s much more to him than you see on the surface.
> 
> This work contains spoilers from The Rise of Skywalker. It's advised you don't read if you haven't seen the film!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got thinking today and realised that most of my multi-chapters before have been between seven and eleven parts in length... and this one is going to be way longer. I planned most of the future of the fic out this afternoon while stacking shelves at work and I can easily say there will be parts into the late teens... I definitely don’t want to rush this one, and Hux isn’t one that can be rushed! But for now, please enjoy the sixth part – this is the longest one so far and also my favourite to write so far!

When Poe informs everyone that you’ll be arriving on Ajan Kloss within a matter of minutes, Armitage takes a deep breath to try and steady himself. He runs a hand through his hair, which is no longer as perfect as he had made it look that morning. With the escape, the crash landing on Kef Bir _and_ the wind on the ocean moon, some of the hair had escaped its confines. He doesn’t quite care as much as he thought he would and happily messes it up a little more in his stress. There’s nobody here to judge him for hair that isn’t perfectly gelled, though he does feel a little like an officer could turn a corner at any second and ridicule him for it.

You’re sat beside him, eyes scanning the pages of a book you’d found on the ship not long after leaving Kef Bir. You’ve been reading it most of the way back, and Armitage has been carefully and quietly sneaking glances at you. The words he’d heard you speaking to Jannah, the woman on Kef Bir, were not missed by him. He’d heard them – several of them. You considered him a friend, and he’d never really had one of those before. He supposes that he considers you as one too.

He watches you as you finally close the book and then stifle a yawn. As you sit the book down on the table and then turn to him, meeting his eyes and catching him the act of him looking at you, his cheeks redden a little and he looks away.

“Are you ready to meet the Resistance?” You ask him, crossing your arms. He’s nervous, and you can tell – not only because he’s been anxiously bopping his knee up and down for the last ten minutes or so.

Armitage finds himself nodding.

“They might take a bit of convincing to trust you, Hux. They’re a good bunch, all of them… but none of them have a particularly good impression of you, what with everything they’ve been through with the First Order these past few years… but give them time. They’ll warm up to you, just as I did.”

He believes you on that, and he tries to focus on your good words, but his mind stalls on one thing in particular – you called him _Hux._ And he’s suddenly struck with a strange dislike for the name.

“Call me Armitage, if you would.”

You furrow your eyebrows. “Don’t you usually prefer Hux?”

“You called me Armitage once before on Steadfast. When we left,” he reminds you. “Hux… it was my fathers surname. He wasn’t a particularly kind man. Hux… the name _Hux,_ it commands a certain kind of feeling, a certain kind of responsibility and title that I don’t think I want to carry with me into the Resistance. I have been General Hux to everybody in the First Order for years now, and that name holds something dark, something I think I want to forget… being just _Armitage…_ it could be the change I’m looking for.”

It feels strange to ask something like that of you, and he worries for a moment if he’s doing wrong by asking you and confiding so much personally in you. But then you nod at him, and he sees a look in your eyes that makes him want to smile and crumble, both at the exact same time.

“Armitage it is, then.”

* * *

As you enter the cockpit, you can see Ajan Kloss in the distance. It fills you with a sense of peace as you slowly advance towards it, towards the place you call home. It’s been a long few hours, and you’re ready to just retire to your quarters and take a second to breathe and relax in comfort before jumping back into everything.

Poe looks up as he hears you. “We’ll be landing in a minute. Finn and I were talking before, we’re going to go and tell Leia about what we found on Kef Bir, about Rey, and then I’m going to go to the infirmary to get patched up,” he explains. “You should head there straight away.”

You furrow your eyebrows and shake your head. “Yeah, that’s not happening.”

“It isn’t?”

“No,” you shake your head again. “I’m coming with you all to talk to Leia. I need to introduce Armitage to her, to tell her that he was the spy. To explain why he’s with us. I need to break it to the Resistance. I’m not just going to leave him to fend for himself, no matter how injured I am. And the pain isn’t too bad anymore. The rest on Kef Bir must have done me some good.”

Poe doesn’t seem too impressed, and you understand. He’s protective of those he cares about, and you slot into that category. Ever since you met him and joined the Resistance with him, since you started flying in his squadron. But he understands. You see that in his eyes as he looks back at you, narrows his eyes and then nods.

He turns back to look out at Ajan Kloss as you slowly begin your landing – it’s bound to be a much safer, softer landing than the one on Kef Bir so you don’t bother bracing yourself or finding yourself a seat to settle in. Then, without looking at you, he speaks.

“You called him Armitage.”

“He asked me to.”

The Falcon settles down on the ground of Ajan Kloss. He glances back at you.

“Just… be careful. I trust you, and if you think he’s good, then I think he is too. But… be careful. For your sake. For your safety. And for the sake of everyone else’s.”

* * *

Armitage stays close to your side as you all exit the Falcon. It’s his first look at Ajan Kloss, the planet you call home, and he’s surprised by it. He didn’t expect it to be this green, this… open. It’s been a while since he’s been in a place this full of colour and this full of light. He would almost call it beautiful, though the word seems foreign when he thinks it.

He knows he looks out of place on the planet next to you. You, in your dark green and browns. Him, in his black. The only parts of him that are no longer First Order regulation are his hair and his allegiance. He watches as people catch sight of him and sink back into themselves. He slightly self-consciously tugs on the bottom of his coat in an attempt to assert some kind of dominance, and then he stops. That’s not what he’s here for. That’s not him anymore.

You glance back at him as Poe, Finn and Chewie push past a Resistance commander he doesn’t recognise, but you do – Larma D’Acy. He gives you a small nod, a nod of reassurance, or the best he can manage of one. This place, it’s your home. The place _you_ command respect. He refuses to let you sink down so low as to be someone like his keeper. To have to constantly be checking on him. You deserve better than that.

“We’ve gotta see the General,” he listens to Poe say to the woman, and he notices how you give her a tight-lipped smile as you slip past her with Armitage in tow.

But then you stop as she suddenly speaks, and he forces himself to a stop just in time to not run into you.

“She’s gone.” The woman says.

He spins around and looks at her as Poe, Finn, Chewie and you do the same.

“ _What_?” Your word is merely more than a breath, and only Armitage hears you because he’s standing so close to you. It goes unheard by everyone else.

And for a moment, Armitage is confused. _Gone?_ As in, gone to see someone, to do something – off planet, perhaps? But then he hears Chewie bellow, and he watches as you stumble sideways away from him and brace yourself on the ladder leading up to the X-wing beside you. He watches how Finn buries his face in his hands and how Poe tries to comfort the wookiee before being pushed away. And he knows that _gone_ means something different to you.

Not gone briefly. But gone for good.

He watches you carefully. As you stand, hands on the ladder, and shudder in your grief. You’re crying, he knows that much. But he doesn’t know how to comfort you. He’s never been good at comfort, and part of him wants to walk over to you, to just _try,_ but the part of him that wins out is the place within him that fears for you pushing him away.

And so he stands still. Allows himself to keep his distance. To let you and the others sit in your grief for a moment without interference. The woman stays standing and watches alongside him, and she gives him a strange look, but the look disappears soon after.

There are more important things to worry about than him right now.

* * *

He’s surprised at how quickly you compose yourself. Eventually, Chewie joins Finn and Poe and they slowly make their way back to the centre of the base in silence. Poe gives your shoulder a squeeze as he leaves, and it’s only minutes later that you’re standing up a little straighter and taking a deep breath. Armitage watches as you rub your face with your hands to remove the remaining tears as best you can, and then you turn back around and face him.

Your eyes are bloodshot and red, and his heart twinges.

“She was like a mother to me. That’s all.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself.”

That earns him a look of relief.

You take another deep breath and then glance off to the side. “I’ll introduce you to the rest of the Resistance soon. I’ll make an announcement. I just need a second to…” You drift off and pause for a moment. “I’m going to go back to my quarters. I’ll find you some clothes and you can freshen yourself up before I introduce you. Come on, I’ll take you the quick way.”

Armitage joins you and walks alongside you as you lead him around the base. He takes in as much as he can – the people, the locations, the _green_ of it all. It’s entirely different to the First Order, and he hopes that he can one day find a sense of comfort here that he never found in the First Order. He ignores the eyes that fall on him and his obvious black uniform and tries to focus on the future – soon enough, he will be in the Resistance completely. Soon enough, he will properly be fighting alongside you. Not flying, but fighting.

And then, moments later, you’re pushing a door open, welcoming him inside your quarters, and the first thing his eyes fall on is the First Order uniform he’d given you sitting by the end of your bed, folded neatly.

“I knew you didn’t forget them.”

Your eyes fall on the uniform and you chuckle. “It _was_ a choice I made, to not wear them.”

Armitage scans your room. It’s small, much smaller than his quarters back on Steadfast, and he’s surprised by the size of it. It looks like you’re yet to really make yourself at home. The only personal items he sees are several of the small devices he’d given you over the months to give the Resistance information, and your clothes folded on a table beside your bed. There’s a small framed photo above your bed, but he can’t make out who’s in the photo from the door.

“There’s a small bathroom in there where you can freshen up. I’m going to go and get you some clothes. I’ll leave them on my bed and wait outside for you,” you explain, and then you’re gone, leaving him alone in your quarters.

Hesitantly, he wanders towards the room you’d motioned to and sees himself inside. There’s a shower, and he takes full advantage of it, and when he walks back into your quarters he sees the Resistance uniform sat on your bed like you’d said it would be. He picks up the clothes. They fill him with a sense of something he’s never felt before _._ And he pulls them on and finds himself surprised by how much more comfortable they really are compared to his usual First Order garb.

It’s only about twenty minutes after he first entered your quarters to when he opens the door and walks outside to find you leaning against the wall, fiddling with a bracelet around your wrist. You glance up at him as you hear the door and involuntarily gasp.

Armitage looks like an entirely different person.

He looks less harsh in the browns and greens of the Resistance. He looks much more comfortable. The trousers are a little tight on him, and the shirt a little short on him due to his height. But it suits him. The Resistance look suits him. And his hair– he’s entirely washed out the gel. His red hair falls over his forehead, and it’s a little longer than you thought it was without the gel in it, holding it in place. It looks… surprisingly soft, despite the darker patches which are still a little wet and drying. He looks entirely Resistance worthy.

You clear your throat. “How does it feel?”

He looks down at it and attempts to smooth his shirt down. “Scratchy.”

You laugh at that. “I never denied it.”

Then, you step forward and surprise him by straightening up his uniform a little. He looks lopsided, and the collar of his shirt is buttoned up so high it looks a little like he has no neck at all.

“You’re not First Order now. There’s no need for you to choke yourself with a buttoned up shirt. We’re a lot less strict on the uniform policies here, I imagine.”

He tenses up a little as you start to unbutton the first few buttons on his shirt, and for a moment he thinks he stops breathing entirely. You’re standing closer to him than you’ve ever been before and he’s not sure what to do with that information other than _pause._ When you’re done, you take a step back but your hands fall onto his shoulders as you survey the look. Then, you nod.

“Better. Much better.”

One of his hands goes to toy with his collar. It’s _much_ looser than he’s used to. He feels strangely exposed… but he also feels freer than he’s ever felt before. It makes a surprisingly nice change from the uniform he’s been wearing for years. He finds he likes it.

He meets your eyes. “Thank you.”

“Oh, only doing my job to make you fit in.”

“No,” he shakes his head. “Thank you for offering your hand.”

Your lips twitch into a smile. “Thank you for taking it.”

* * *

Armitage is nervous. He can’t bring himself to admit it to you, but as you take his hand and lead him towards where Poe has assembled the entire Resistance, he has to force himself to keep his feet moving. This moment, it’s make or break.

You fix him with a reassuring smile as you stop in front of the Resistance, and as you drop his hand, he quietly wishes you hadn’t. But he pushes the thought of his mind as soon as it entered and, instead, focuses on the way everyone is looking at him. He feels different, _better,_ in his new Resistance uniform, but he can tell that everyone thinks it’s a facade of sorts. That he’s wearing it to fit in. He knows that several people probably just think he’s planning on taking them down from the inside. He, and _you,_ are the only ones that know for sure that he isn’t.

He stands up straighter and remains by your side as you look around at everyone.

Then, you speak. “You all have probably seen him by now, and I know there are rumours floating around about why he’s here. I’m here to set those rumours straight,” you begin. “Armitage Hux, _previously_ known as General Hux of the First Order, has been spying on the First Order for the Resistance for months. He’s the spy that I’ve been flying out to meet with and the one I’ve gotten all the information from.”

In the distance, someone loudly protests. Armitage watches as you shut them down with a look, and he’s impressed at how you take charge. At the respect you command among the Resistance. It’s a side of you he’s never really seen before – a side of you that he’s known has always been there, but one he’s never been able to see in all its glory. He likes seeing it.

“When Chewie and I were taken captive by the First Order, and after Poe and Finn came to rescue us with Rey, Armitage helped us. He helped us escape, and in return I offered him a chance at a new life. A chance at a life within the Resistance, helping us take the First Order down.”

“How could you do that? He’s killed us before! He’ll do it again!” Someone yells. He can’t see who they are or where they’re coming from, but their voice ignites a few cheers of agreement from people around them.

Armitage’s straight posture slumps a little.

You step forward and raise your voice equally. “We’ve lost too many people already! We’ve fought enough! I can’t force you to trust Armitage, but I _can_ ask you to trust me. I know who he is. I know who he is _now._ And he is here, in our uniform, willing to help us win.” You glance back at him and he nods.

He’s not sure if it’s the right time, nor is he sure if it’s what you want, but he does it anyway. He steps forward, looks around at the Resistance, and decides to address them for the first time.

“When I first started sharing information with you, it was born out of a hate for Kylo Ren. I still remained loyal to the First Order, but I wanted Kylo to lose. I didn’t care for who won,” he speaks, and it’s the first time he’s spoken in this way since leaving the First Order. He commands no respect here, only hatred and minor fear, but he says it anyway. “Over the months, in meeting with her,” he nods towards you, “I have learnt to support the Resistance. I still want Kylo to lose. But now I wish for the Resistance to win. And I am here, _alive,_ thanks to her allowing me to choose a different life. A different path. I intend to fight for the Resistance, and I am here asking you to let me.”

There’s silence after his words, and he steps back and wonders if he shouldn’t have said anything. If his words were just said and not heard. But then a woman he recognises steps out from the crowd and fixes him with a look. He doesn’t remember her name, but he’s seen her before – a year ago, he’d nearly killed her with Finn by her side. His resolve crumbles a little.

She looks between you and Armitage, and then she nods. “I can’t trust you, _Armitage,_ ” she speaks, and then looks at you. “But I can trust you. People can change. I trust that. And if we turn away someone wanting to help us, what sort of people are we? No matter where they come from. If we turn them away, we’re sinking to a level I don’t think any of us want to be at.”

You smile proudly at Rose and make a note to thank her later.

* * *

When the Resistance disbands and goes back to work, you take a moment to turn to Armitage. His appearance is still strange for you to take in, but it’s slowly becoming normal to you, to see him so similarly dressed to you. And you’re proud of him for stepping up and talking to the Resistance, explaining so you didn’t have to.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” You cross your arms and look up at him.

He raises his eyebrows. “I thought I was about to be kicked into the nearest X-wing and blasted off into space for a moment, but no, not so bad.”

You flash him a grin and then glance over to where you see Poe’s retreating form – he’s going to where Leia’s body is. “You know the way back to my quarters, don’t you?”

Armitage nods.

“I’m going to go and talk to Poe. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes, tops. Wait for me there, would you? We’re going to have to sort out a few more things,” you hum.

He watches you as you jog off after Poe – your side, he supposes, mustn’t be causing you too much pain anymore after you got it patched up in the infirmary before the meeting. And then, when you disappear, he sighs and turns.

Armitage takes a second to look at the Resistance around him. His new home, if he could call it that yet. But the place he’s supposed to find comfort. There are less eyes on him this time as he walks on his own back to your quarters. He knows that has to do with you. And he’s thankful.

* * *

Poe taps his fingers together as he stares at the sheet covering Leia’s body. You’re sat beside him, legs crossed on the chair you’re sat on. It’s been a few minutes since you joined him, and neither of you have said a word.

You both find just sitting in her presence is as calming as it always was.

She had been like a mother to you both when you joined the Resistance. And when you’d doubted your flying ability when you accidentally nearly cost a member of Poe’s squadron their life on a flight drill, she had been the one to assure you that you were a valued pilot. Her belief in you had been what forced you to keep trying. To keep pushing yourself to be better. To become the pilot you were today – unafraid, willing to do whatever it took, ruthless, when necessary.

You owe that to her. You wish she knew it.

And most of all, you wish you could tell her about Armitage. About his spying for you, and about how much you’d grown to like his company. How it surprised you – how _he_ surprised you, nearly on an hourly basis these days. How he had come to be a person you considered a friend.

You’re grateful that you at least can share that with Poe.

It’s nearly like he can hear what you’re thinking when he finally breaks the silence and meets your eyes. There are tears in his, and they take you aback, but he’s blinking them away before you can mention them.

“You held your own out there… when you explained everything to everyone. I think Armitage was impressed with you. I was too,” he pauses, and then looks back at Leia. “I think she might have made a mistake in naming me General instead of you.”

“Leia knew what she was doing.”

“Yeah? It doesn’t feel like it.”

You sit up straighter in your chair and knot your hands together in front of yourself. Poe doesn’t look at you as you look at him. He doesn’t take his eyes off of Leia, but you know he’s hearing you when you speak.

“You’ve technically been her second-in-command for over a year, Poe. You’ve been leading missions, saving people. I would never have even met and started communicating with Armitage if you hadn’t made contact with Boolio,” you tell him. He’s the best damn leader the Resistance has now that they no longer have Leia. You only wish that he could see it.

Poe shakes his head at your words. “I’m never going to be the General that you could be.” He doesn’t say what follows. You know what he’s thinking: _transferring it to you could be the way to go._

“You’re right.” His head snaps towards you. “You’re going to be better than I ever could be. I’m not built to lead the Resistance, Poe. I’m built to fly in your squadron, under your command. I’m built to be there when you need me, just like Finn is, just like Chewie and Rey and BB-8 and every other person on this base. I’m built to fly into battle on Exegol beside you when you need me to.”

He opens his mouth to protest. You beat him to it.

“I have a healing blaster wound in my side, but I can damn well fly an X-wing when you need me to. I can be anything you need me to be, Poe, but I cannot be General of the Resistance. Leia picked you for that. You’re allowed to do with that what you will, but you will _not_ transfer command to me. I won’t let you.”

Poe fixes you with a look. “I think I need some time to think this all over.”

You smile sadly at him. He’s not wrong, and even if it’s not what he meant, you push yourself to your feet and then lean down to squeeze his shoulder with a hand. He needs time alone to think. To process. And _you_ need to get back to Armitage.

“I’ll fly at your command, General. I trust you’ll do what’s right.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux finds himself strangely fascinated by you, a Resistance fighter and pilot, even though he knows he shouldn’t. You know that there’s much more to him than you see on the surface.
> 
> This work contains spoilers from The Rise of Skywalker. It's advised you don't read if you haven't seen the film!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you for being so patient in waiting for this one! I’ve had the absolute busiest couple of days after Christmas, especially with work and going to see TROS again on Saturday. I have been keeping those on my tumblr (gryffindorwriter) updated, but for those of you who are just solely on Ao3, sorry for the wait!
> 
> I’m a bit uncertain about this chapter simply because I’m terrible at writing Star Wars battle scenes... but I tried my best and did a few drafts of this and now I’m just putting it up so I can move on to writing Part Eight. Anyway, thank you for all the love so far. I hope you enjoy this part – the longest so far!

Armitage Hux has never particularly been a fan of hot weather.

In the hours he’s spent on Ajan Kloss, hidden away in the caves of the Klosslands and moving back and forth between your quarters and the _Tantive IV –_ what used to be General Leia Organa’s command ship – he’s witnessed two spontaneous downfalls of rain followed by an unfair amount of sun, and the warmth that came with it was the worst of all. He really wasn’t used to it – on the Steadfast for the past few months, he’s been surrounded by a constant generated cool air. Here, there’s no such thing.

He shrugs off his coat when he sits down in your quarters, even though it’s the lightest one you could find him. He doesn’t mean to make himself too comfortable, though, so it remains on his lap. This is, after all, _your_ place, and not his. He can’t assume. But the thinner shirt is much more comfortable in the afternoon heat of Ajan Kloss, and you don’t seem to mind as much about the formalities of uniform here, not like the First Order. He’s noticed that half of the Resistance don’t even wear their rank on their sleeves.

It’s refreshing.

* * *

With him here, _now_ , you feel as though you’ve discovered an entirely different man. Armitage, a Resistance fighter has an entirely different manner to General Hux of the First Order. You’ve taken the time to study the differences in the silence of the afternoon while you wait for any kind of good news, though you fear it may never come.

He sits on a chair across the room from you and stares out the open curtain at the bustling Resistance base outside. The quarters that you live in are nothing special and were assembled quickly, which explains why you can hear the buzz of everyone still talking and working outside. It’s something you’ve grown to find quite reassuring, though you’re unsure what Armitage has come to think of it.

It must be a large change for him.

He still holds himself as tall and proud as he did when you saw him on the _Steadfast_ for the first time, a member of the First Order through and through. He still has trouble allowing his emotions to pass over his face without hiding them immediately, which is something you assume he was taught. Yet sometimes you spot a vague smile on his lips or the beginning of a small twitch of laughter. Every time you notice something like that, you’re even happier that you made the choice to offer him your hand and that he made the choice to take it.

Perfectly timed, and just as you open your mouth to break the silence, a frantic knock sounds on your door. Armitage looks away from the outside, at the door and then at you.

“It’s open.”

The door clicks open and Rose stands on the other side. “Artoo, he’s found something. You need to come and see this.” Her eyes flick between you and Armitage. You notice how her eyebrows furrow briefly. And then she surprises you. “ _Both_ of you.”

* * *

Poe is standing alongside Finn, Rose, Chewie, Beaumont and Larma when you both arrive. He’s staring down at something on the screen in front of him, a small moving dot, with a grin on his face. It’s the happiest you’ve seen him look in a while. Finn wears an equally large smile on his own face as he sees you.

You lean down and look at the dot yourself. “Is that what I think it is?”

“Red Five – the infamous X-wing of Luke Skywalker.”

“Oh, it’s _Rey,”_ you breathe, and then you laugh to yourself.

She’s transmitting the location of Exegol to you. She’s leading you right to it, and right now you’re more proud to be her friend than you ever have been.

There’s a smile on your face when you turn and look up at Armitage, and he almost wants to smile at you in return – if only because you seem so infectiously overjoyed. “This is your moment. Is there anything we should know before we follow her?”

Armitage stares at you for a moment, shock filling his system. You’re turning to _him_ for information. You’re counting on _him_ for the help you need. The others around you all follow your lead and direct their attention to him, and he can’t help but perk up a little at the attention. It’s been a while since he’s felt useful.

He doesn’t know just how much information he can give you. But he scours his brain for anything anyway because the feeling of being included is one he finds unfamiliar in a good way. Actually being _needed_ fills him with hope, because after so many months of being pushed back by Allegiant General Pryde, he’d started to feel as though he wasn’t that necessary after all.

* * *

There’s a buzz in the air as the Resistance runs. Pilots sprint past you to change into their suits, fighters run to the weaponry to stock up on blasters. You notice people hugging, making their goodbyes, and you can’t quite believe that this is it. That after _years_ of fighting, this is the moment it’s all come down to.

Poe gives you a look as he runs off to change, and just as you’re about to make your move to run back to your own quarters and change too, Armitage holds out a hand to stop you.

“Where do you need me?”

“Where do you want to be?”

He pauses. He’s never been in the center of the action. He’s never been a fighter – he’s always been the one to oversee the fighting. To watch on, to tell them what to do and where to hit the hardest. But he knows that he can’t just sit and watch on this one, no matter how dangerous. He can’t sit back, let you and the rest of the Resistance fight your own way out of this and wait for the outcome, whether good or bad.

He has to fight.

“I can’t fly, but I’m not bad with a blaster.”

It’s half a lie. He’s not very good with a blaster in _combat_.

You don’t see through it, though. You’re impressed, only you hadn’t expected him to offer to fight alongside you. “You heard Finn talking about the ground team he’s leading to take out the nav system? What do you say to joining that team and helping to take it down?”

“I say that sounds entirely acceptable.”

Rose runs past you, and you hold out an arm and stop her. “Hey, you going to the armoury?” She nods. “Can you take Armitage? He needs a blaster. He’s gonna join you on the ground team. Get him kitted up, I need to go change.”

“Yeah, but we need to go now.” Rose beckons him.

There’s no time to waste.

“I’ll find you before we leave!” You point at him, and then you run.

* * *

Armitage stands and waits by your X-wing – a T-70 X-wing starfighter, black in colour with flares of bright green on the nose. Rose had pointed it out to him when they’d left the armoury and he’d told her he wanted to wait for you. He’s glad he’ll _hopefully_ be able to pick it out among the other X-wings on Exegol.

And _you,_ you keep your word.

You’re dressed in the orange suit of the X-wing pilots when he spots you, much like the suit he’d seen Poe wearing when he’d walked past him to his own X-wing only moments earlier. It’s a different look on you compared to the muted browns and greens of your Resistance uniform, but it suits you – the look of oncoming battle. You look strong, fierce, ready for whatever awaits you on Exegol. He’s a little uneasy at the thought, but he puts his best front on for your sake.

He’s really never fought like this before.

“I got you a little something on my way here,” you say, and he notices you’re a little out of breath, likely from the chaos of getting everything in order before the attack. You hold it out towards him. “Since your First Order buddies took my last one on Pasaana, I figured we should start over, find a way to still keep in contact. And this is the only way we’re gonna be able to stay in touch when we reach Exegol.”

In your hand is a small comlink device.

He takes it out of your hand and then attaches it to his ear.

“Are you positive about flying? You _are_ still injured.” He tries, _once._

You fix him with a look. “I’ve done this before, remember? I’m fine. _You_ are the one you need to worry about. You’ve never seen combat like this before, have you?”

And just like that, you catch him.

He clears his throat. “No, not necessarily.”

“Just… follow Finn and Rose’s lead. They’ve got your back. I know it. We all do. As long as you don’t have a momentary lapse and _can’t_ blast the Stormtroopers… you should be fine.”

“There won’t be any problems there. I _have_ blasted some before, you remember.”

You smile. He’d done it before, he could do it again.

Armitage stands tall, glances at your X-wing and then back at you. “You stay safe. I’ve heard and _seen_ that it’s a dangerous business, flying a starfighter in an air fight.”

“You’ve heard right.” You pause, and then look down at the ground for a second, unsure if you should say what you’re thinking. But then you decide to bite the bullet and do it – because you know you’ll regret it if you don’t. “Listen, if I don’t come back from this– if things go wrong and I don’t make it out alive, which is a very real possibility, just stick with Poe or Finn and–“

He snaps. “Don’t say that!”

It’s the first moment in a long while where he’s truly reminded you of the General Hux you’d heard the stories of. The famed General Hux of the First Order, destroyer of planets, killer of civilisations. His eyes get darker, and even though he _looks_ like a Resistance fighter with his brown cotton shirt and slightly messy red hair, you can still sense his upbringing behind the uniform, the remains of a lifetime on the dark side.

And all at the suggestion of your death.

Armitage realises his mistake too late. He swears under his breath and drops his eyes to the ground. He hadn’t _meant_ to say it like that– he’d just wanted to stop you. “Forgive me.”

He peeks up at you through his eyelashes with slightly red tinted cheeks.

His eyes are no longer dark. His expression has changed from the harsh one to a softer one and you see the Armitage you know coming back. You nod slowly at him. “Forgiven.”

And then you surprise both him _and_ yourself by throwing your arms around him and pulling him into a hug.

It’s a little lopsided. He’s taller than you. But you both make it work.

It takes a moment for Armitage to hug you back. It takes him off guard. He’s never… has he _ever_ been hugged before? He can’t recall. But his father was never one for those sort of pleasantries, and he can’t remember a moment in his past at all where he remembers the sensation of a hug. But then he allows his arms to wrap around you and hold you back.

His first hug, and it’s _you._

“I meant what I said. You be safe on that ship, Armitage. You come back.”

You pull away, but you keep him at arms length.

“I meant it too.”

Your astromech – R6-LE5 – beeps impatiently from behind you where she waits at the foot of your X-wing. Everyone else around you is getting into their fighters and getting ready for departure, and she’s urging you on. Time is running out, and goodbyes should be brief.

“I’m coming, Leefive. I’m coming.” You turn back to Armitage. “I’ll see you back in this very spot when we win.”

And with that, he watches as you climb up the ladder to your X-wing and slide inside. As you close the roof of the cockpit over your head and secure your helmet. As your droid slots herself into place behind you.

You wave at him as you start the engine.

This time, he waves back.

* * *

Your first sight of Exegol is enough to inspire nightmares.

The fleet is bigger than you ever expected it to be, and your first sight is soon enough marred by the starfighter beside you being blown to pieces. You swerve to the left, avoiding the debris as much as possible, and wince. You’d never thought this was going to be easy, but you’d had better hopes than this.

Below you, the fleet have begun to fire their cannons at you, and you fall back into the habit of flying your X-wing easily. After months of switching between it and Armitage’s TIE fighter, it feels good to be flying something that’s entirely _yours_ again. It’s dangerous, but you’re filled with adrenaline as you dodge the blaster beams and fire back.

It’s not long after that your excitement is squandered.

“The navigation tower has been de-activated!” 

“What?” Finn sounds panicked.

“The ships need that signal. It’s gotta be coming from somewhere.”

“They figured out what we’re doing. Call off the ground invasion!” Poe calls in, and you can’t help but agree with him – how can they take down the navigation tower when the First Order has done it themselves?

But Finn has other plans. The channel goes silent for a moment, and then he speaks, more confidently than ever. “Wait… the nav signal’s coming from that command ship. That’s our drop zone.”

“You wanna launch a ground invasion on a Star Destroyer?” Lieutenant Tyce says everything that you’re thinking.

“Finn, you can’t be serious!” It’s your turn to object. “You can’t do that! It’s too dangerous! We have to find another way!” You’re worried about his safety – and Rose _and_ Armitage’s safety too. Allowing him to set foot on the destroyer that you’d helped Armitage escape from hours earlier was too risky… what if you lost and they took him back?

“I have no choice! I don’t want to, but I have no choice,” Finn yells in reply. “We can’t take out that ship’s nav system from the air. Give us cover. We gotta keep that fleet there till help arrives… we hope.”

You dodge out of the way of an oncoming blaster charge and your X-wing spins, but through the chaos you manage to hear two more words – not spoken by Finn or Poe or Rose, or even Tyce, but the voice is still familiar. It’s Armitage, and it gives you the boost you need.

“Trust him” is all he says.

Finn looks at him, eyes narrowed ever so slightly, and something passes between the two of them. It’s not admiration, not love, not friendship, but some kind of respect – they’re words Finn never thought he’d hear Armitage say. But Armitage nods at him once, and Finn nods back, and they know they’re both on the same page. This is the time to be brave.

* * *

When the landers set down on the _Steadfast_ and the Resistance begin their invasion, blasters raised among those fighting and firing towards the Stormtroopers that have covered the top of the destroyer in an act of defiance, you try and look for Armitage among them, but it’s a failed attempt.

You’d thought he would be easy to spot, but there are too many people, too many blaster shots and you can’t get a clear look at anything on the ground, let-alone in the sky around you. Smoke and debris floats around you and dodging it as well as the attacks from the cannons is hard enough.

 _And_ you’re too pre-occupied with not being blown up yourself.

Below, on the _Steadfast,_ Armitage fights against those he once trusted. He has to admit, it _is_ rather thrilling to fire blaster shots at Sith Troopers and have them fall at his hands. From when he first did it hours ago with the Stormtroopers to now, he feels like he’s getting the hang of it – and he’s not sure whether to like that or not. He’s doing his part, though, and that has to be worth something.

He’s not very good with his blaster in combat, and he dodges a few blaster shots from the First Order several times. The near misses, he decides not to tell you about. He thinks he _will_ tell you about blasting the Sith Trooper that got a little too close to comfort by Rose.

And _you,_ flying up high in the sky above you. He thought he’d have a chance to at least pause and try and find you, to make sure you were still flying and not destroyed by the First Order, but it’s so fast paced and frantic on the ship that he barely has a chance to breathe.

His attention is forced away from worry as an explosion up above knocks the nav tower offline, and he stumbles backwards from the force of it alongside several other Resistance fighters beside him. One of them turns to him, grins and then _whoops_ rather loudly, and he _has_ to smile back.

They’ve done it.

Armitage holds up a hand to the comlink at his ear. “Did you see that?”

You can hear the excitement in his voice, and you wish you could see it on his face. “I saw that!”

“Nice one, Finn!” Nav signal’s down, but not for long!” Poe yells over the comms.

And then the people around Armitage are turning the other way and running back towards the landers. It’s time to leave now that they’ve done what they came for. In the distance, his eyes fall on Finn and Jannah – they’re stopping, looking at something, and then he watches as they run in the opposite direction.

Something deep within him itches to follow them. To do more than necessary. To _help_ them in whatever they’re running away to do. But he can’t bring himself to follow the feeling. He’s a runner, not a fighter. He’d be more of a hindrance than a help. And he hopes you and the rest of the Resistance can forgive him as he turns and begins the run back to the landers, choosing safety over glory.

Any part of him that _truly_ remained General Hux of the First Order, he leaves behind on the Steadfast as soon as his feet hit the ground of the Resistance lander.

* * *

It’s exhausting. The constant jump back and forth between feeling like you’re winning and feeling like you’re losing. And just when you think you think everything is going well, when the nav tower is knocked offline, when you start to gain the upper hand, things start to crack and crumble again.

The fighter beside you goes up in flames.

Poe warns Snap about the TIE fighters on his tail. He says he sees them. And then you watch him go down, hurtling to the surface of a destroyer… you’re yelling and you don’t even realise it – another member of the remnants of Black Squadron gone, a _friend_ gone…

You start to wonder if you can even win this at all.

Another fighter close to you is blown up, and you swerve away from it, missing a blaster shot from an oncoming TIE fighter by inches as you do. Your comms are filled with the voices of the other pilots – they’re asking Poe what to do, and you see several other members of your team go down in flames as you hear them.

But what can you add? What can you add to make them feel better?

Nothing.

You’re floating in midair trying to catch your breath when Poe finally tries to find the words. They’re not the ones you wanted to hear. They’re not the ones you _need_ to hear. But he says them anyway. “My friends… I’m sorry… I thought we had a shot… but there’s just too many of them.”

And then… another voice.

“But there are more of us, Poe. There are more of us.”

It’s instinct, how you spin your X-wing around and fly a little higher. You feel like the air is swept entirely from your lungs as you see hundreds of _thousands_ of ships. They came – this time, they came for you.

The exhaust you felt from being whipped back and forward by the winning and the losing is gone entirely at the sight of the ships. Because you know you have this now. Your fleet is bigger, it’s better… and it’s filled with thousands of people from all over the universe who want to see nothing else but Palpatine and the first order taken down.

Poe is clearly invigorated by the realisation “Hit those underbelly canons, every one we knock out is a world saved!”

And you do it. You turn back and hurtle towards the closest ship, your blasters firing at the canons underneath until _finally,_ they explode into a fiery orange burst of _hope._ You’re laughing as you dodge it and move onto the next one.

You’ve got this.

* * *

His lander is yet to move from the surface of the _Steadfast_ when everything starts to fall around him, quite literally. His heart is beating fast from the adrenaline and he’s collapsed onto a crate in the corner of the ship in an attempt to catch his breath when he sees something out of the small window on the opposite side.

An A-wing, falling – free falling through the air, but it looks perfectly normal. It’s not on fire, from what he can see, it hasn’t been hit and– then there’s a flicker of something.

Armitage is on his feet in seconds, standing by the window along with several other Resistance fighters who have noticed something is wrong. It looks like… _lightning._ He’s never seen anything like it before.

He feels like his heart stops as he sees the familiar black and green of your X-wing following the A-wing rather rapidly towards the ground. He steps back, allows the others to crowd around the window, and tries to reach you.

“Do you copy? I repeat, do you _copy?_ What’s going on? Are you all right?”

Armitage glances back at the window, but he can’t see your X-wing anymore. He falls back on the crate, heart racing just as fast as it was before, perhaps even faster, and holds his breath.

He’d thought things were going well.

He should have known better than to assume something good.

* * *

You definitely _do not_ have this.

The screen of your X-wing starts to flicker. Your controls – you don’t _have_ control anymore. You try and move your X-wing, but nothing is happening.

“Leefive, what’s happening? My systems are failing! I don’t have control!”

She beeps, but you can’t make out what she says. And nothing happens. She doesn’t reboot the systems of fix anything, and you fiddle with the controls inside your X-wing but nothing is working. Your stomach drops as your X-wing falls.

You try again. You’re falling – you’re _falling_ and you have no control.

“Does anyone copy?” You call through the comms. “Armitage, do you copy? I’ve lost control, my systems are failing. I’m going down, I repeat, I am going down! Poe, Finn– _Armitage,_ does anybody copy?”

The screen flickers again, and you suddenly stop falling.

Poe’s voice is in your ear like he never left it.

“This is our last chance, we’ve gotta hit those cannons _now!_ ”

You’re confused. You’re more confused than you think you ever have been in your entire life. You feel sick to your stomach from the drop, but your systems are back online as if they were never offline in the first place, and behind you, Leefive is whirring and beeping happily. You take a second to breathe deeply before you launch your final assault.

“Armitage, do you copy?” You’re saying the words before you even really meant to.

It’s instinct.

His reply comes moments later, and you breathe a sigh of relief at the sound of his voice.

“Are you all right? Are your systems working?”

“I’m okay– they’re back now. What about you and the others?”

Armitage looks around the lander. “We hadn’t left the Steadfast when whatever that was happened. It didn’t seem to affect our ship. It just affected you.” He looks out the window again, just in time to see you whizzing past towards the ship. They’ve taken off now, left the Steadfast, and he’s airborne again. “I saw you falling.”

“I know. I know. But I’m good.”

If he says anything in return, you don’t hear it. You’re firing on the cannons, and then– the command ship, the Steadfast, the place you’d been on hours earlier and the place Armitage no longer called his home, starts to fall.

* * *

Rey joins you in Luke’s old X-wing as you leave Exegol.

You can’t seem to wipe the smile off of your face as you pull your helmet from your head, giving yourself some much needed air. It’s _warm_ in your fighter, and you wipe the sweat from your brow. You hope you never have to see Exegol again.

“We did it,” you breathe. “Leefive, we did it!”

She beeps excitedly behind you, and you grin.

“Hey Finn, Poe– congratulations, Generals.” You follow the Falcon as it speeds off ahead of you and back towards Ajan Kloss. Poe had told you briefly before you left that he’d made the decision to bring Finn on as a co-general. And now, you were certain he’d made the right decision.

Without Finn, who knows what could have happened?

You hear Poe’s laughter as his only reply.

* * *

Down on the lander, flying beneath you all, Armitage listens in with a small smile on his face. You’d won. The Resistance had won, and he was on the winning side. Long gone were the days where he wished for Kylo’s loss and nobody’s win.

The comlink in his ear fizzes.

“ _Hey,_ Armitage. You hearing this?”

“I am very much hearing this.”

“I’ll see you back on Ajan Kloss, right? The same place as before?”

Armitage nods, and then realises you can’t see him. “I’ll be waiting.”

Your face breaks out into a grin. “Not if I get there first.”

He has no chance.

The comms go out again, and he allows himself a moment to think about how it feels to hear your voice again – this time not frantic or rushed from the chaos of the fight. But just _calm,_ relieved. There’s an edge of excitement in your voice and Armitage likes hearing it.

He had his doubts about the Resistance’s win. When you’d said you’d see him back on Ajan Kloss when they won, he’d walked away unsure if he _would_ see you _or_ Ajan Kloss again. But now, as the lander picks up speed and begins the journey back, he knows he will. He knows that Allegiant General Pryde is _dead._ He knows that the First Order is as good as. He is all that remains. And he is better than what they became.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux finds himself strangely fascinated by you, a Resistance fighter and pilot, even though he knows he shouldn’t. You know that there’s much more to him than you see on the surface.
> 
> This work contains spoilers from The Rise of Skywalker. It's advised you don't read if you haven't seen the film!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! This is essentially the celebration I’m having for the beginning of 2020 here in Australia, as it’s currently 12:40am on January 1st as I’m typing this A/N and 1:22am as I'm posting this. I hope this chapter brightens up your New Year even more. I know it’s shorter than usual, but there is a reason for that, and it’s just because I didn’t want to drag it out too much with filler before getting into things after a small time jump in the next part. 
> 
> Also, for you guys here on Ao3 – I posted a little Rebel inspired drabble about a meeting that Hux and the reader had before the start of the story over on tumblr (gryffindorwriter) yesterday, if anyone is interested in giving it a read too!
> 
> Enjoy, and I wish you all a very Happy New Year too!

The moment your X-wing touches back down on Ajan Kloss, you know you’re home. Around you, people are hugging and cheering and crying and laughing already, and you can’t wait to be among them. You climb out of your fighter without hesitation, and as soon as you set your feet on the ground, a passerby claps your shoulder with a hand and flashes you a grin.

R6-LE5 whirs up behind you, and you crouch down in front of her.

“Thanks for having my back out there, couldn’t have done it without you.”

She beeps happily, and you grin in return and let her go.

For a moment, you just stand and watch. Your face is starting to hurt from smiling as you look at everyone – at _their_ happy faces, at their excitement at having won against the First Order, against Palpatine, after all this time. You’re itching to push through the crowds, to try and find your friends, but you made a promise.

A promise that you would meet Armitage in the same place as before.

And right now, you’re standing there.

Finn finds you before Armitage can, though, and after he runs over to you, you can’t stop yourself from pulling him into a hug and holding him close. He’s shaking a little, and you assume it’s from the adrenaline. You can tell he’s just happy to be alive, as you all are. You’re happy he made it out alive.

“What you did back there, you were incredible, Finn– or should I say General?”

He pulls away from the hug with a laugh. “FInn is fine. I’ll let you save General for the more formal moments, but I don’t expect you to _actually_ use it,” he chuckles. “Hey, I’m glad you’re safe. I was worried for a second there… but…”

“But we made it.” You finish his sentence for him. “We made it.”

His smile returns. “That, we did.”

He gives your shoulder a squeeze before running off to find Poe, Rey and Rose, and you’re left alone once more, waiting for Armitage, though you don’t really _feel_ alone with the excitement coursing through him. You’re hoping Armitage won’t be much longer and glance around to look for him when you finally spot him.

Armitage looks _rough._ Much rougher than he’d sounded over the comms on Exegol and the way back to Ajan Kloss. His hair is messier than you’ve ever seen it, he’s got a little blood on his cheek and his uniform is charred with ash and dust. He looks like the perfect picture of a Resistance fighter, and for the first time you see him as that entirely. Whatever he still had left in him that was _General Hux_ before the assault, he’s let die along with the First Order.

He’s still looking around for you when you take off running.

Your feet are carrying you before you can even _think_ about what you’re doing. But you’re friends now. And friends can be glad to see each other. And friends – well, friends can hug, or at least you hope, because seconds later you’re hurtling into Armitage’s arms, your own arms wrapping around him for the second time in a day, and he’s stumbling backwards with the force and shock of the hug.

And then… then he’s _laughing._

You nearly pull away from the hug just so you can see it on his face.

“This is quite the warm welcome back,” Armitage smiles.

“I think you deserve it.”

You keep a hold on him for a few more moments before you pull away and look up at him. He doesn’t look as bad from close up, but you still reach up with a hand and gently take his chin, turning his head from side to side to make sure there are no serious injuries that he’s hiding from you.

His cheeks slowly start to redden at the contact.

“I– I’m all right, actually. There’s no need for that.”

Eyes narrowed, you relent and let him go.

“How did everything go on the destroyer? How was it, being down in the middle of combat like that?” You inquire. You feel like you’re bombarding him with too many questions, but you’re intrigued. You want to know how it felt, how _he_ feels after taking on such heavy combat like you’d seen. “You didn’t chicken out?”

Armitage scoffs. “ _Chicken out?_ ”

You fix him with a look.

“ _No,_ I did not chicken out. I think I held my own rather well.”

“I can attest to that.” Rose appears beside you and briefly wraps you in a hug. “He saved my life out there… never thought I’d be saying that… but he did,” she admits, and then she looks at you. “I’m glad to see you’re safe.”

And then she’s off, running straight into Chewie’s waiting arms, and you’re entirely dumbfounded as you look up at Armitage again. He’d saved her life. He’d saved Rose’s life, and she was grateful for it. You thought you’d never see the day.

He can tell what you’re thinking before you even say it, just from the look on your face. “It was nothing, really. Just a Sith Trooper sneaking up on her that I saw first.” He’s downplaying it. He doesn’t know why he is, he was always one to talk up his achievements, but here, _now,_ it feels like the right thing to do.

You entirely disagree.

“You saved her life, Armitage. That’s not nothing.”

His gaze drops to the ground again, but this time you’re fast – you’re forcing him to look up at you again, to meet your eyes once more, and as he does, he swears he can feel something inside him crumble at the look in your eyes.

He’s never seen that look on you before.

For the first time ever, he allows himself the luxury to think about how beautiful you are.

“We don’t forget those things around here, not ever. You saving Rose’s life, that’s _everything_.” You make sure that he knows it. “You’ve come a long way from the man I met on that ship back when you first started giving us information. I’m proud of you.”

His lips curl into a small smile. He’d never really had anyone say that to him before.“Thank you,” he hums. “It _was_ rather satisfying to see that ship go down, and all those on it go down with it.” Allegiant General Pryde, he was glad to be rid of in particular. That man had always been a particular kind of terrible, the last tie to his father. And now he never had to see him again.

* * *

Hours have passed when you start to finally tire after the day you’ve had.

Around you, as you sit at a small table with your friends, the Resistance are still celebrating. Drinks have been passed around, joy has been shared, and all of you are taking it in before things settle down the following morning, and you know they will.

You’ve won, but there’s an entire universe waiting for what comes next. People are rising up, there are bound to be First Order sympathisers who _aren’t_ and those who were harmed by them are likely still in recovery. The real mission, it starts in the morning, and it seems you’re all eager to keep that as far away as possible.

Beside you, Armitage notices that you’re starting to tire when he watches you stifle two yawns in a row. He’s amused by your attempt to stay as awake as possible, but then he’s grateful when you finally stand and announce your departure.

He stands up alongside you.

“I’ll join you. I think it _is_ time to call it a night.”

You don’t object.

It’s only when you actually both reach your quarters after walking in silence there the whole way that you realise that Armitage doesn’t have anywhere to sleep. You pause with your hand on the door and look up at him.

He furrows his eyebrows. “Is everything all right?”

“You don’t have anywhere to sleep.”

“I– I don’t. You’re right.”

You laugh at the lapse of realisation. “I guess we just forgot about normal _human_ things like sleeping before, when we were too busy saving the entire universe from certain doom,” you chuckle. “You go on in and wait, I’ll find some pillows and blankets. You can sleep in my quarters. I’ll take the floor.”

He hopes you hear him as you walk away and he yells “The floor? No, you won’t!”

* * *

Armitage gets his way.

You make up a makeshift bed for him on the floor of your quarters with blankets and pillows that you’d sourced from the _Tantive IV_ and elsewhere. He seemed to be happy enough with it – at least until he lies down on it.

It’s certainly _not_ as comfortable as his bed had been on the _Steadfast._

But it’s good enough.

And that night he drifts off to sleep for the first time in a _long_ while entirely content. He dreams of a life in the Resistance, letting his previous life in the First Order go and then, strangely, of you hugging him again.

* * *

When he wakes up the following morning, you’re nowhere to be found, and so he gets himself ready for the day in silence. You’re a busy woman, but you’ve left new clothes for him at the foot of his bed despite that, and he changes into them, happy to be rid of the dirty other ones. These ones seem to fit him a little better, and he’s grateful for the change.

He finds you sitting out with Poe, Finn, Rose and Rey, with a plate of some sort of food in front of you. It doesn’t look particularly appetising. You’re sat just out the front of the _Tantive IV_ at a small table, the exact same place you’d all celebrated the night before.

“Hugs! You’re awake!” It’s Poe’s voice that calls out to him.

You throw him a look. “Poe, _really_?”

Armitage pulls up a chair beside you and narrows his eyes. “I knew you were saying that on purpose. I wasn’t impressed then, and I will admit I’m not entirely impressed by it now. But I’ll allow it this once.”

The smile on Poe’s face grows. “Why, thank you.”

You turn to Armitage. “How’d you sleep?”

“Entirely well. It’s no First Order bed, but for now, it will do.”

“Good,” you hum in reply. “I figured you could use a bit of sleep, and you didn’t wake up when I was getting ready, so I just let you sleep a bit more. And I have a feeling we won’t be getting too much more sleep in the next few weeks.”

Poe raises his eyebrows. “Is there something you’re not telling us?”

“ _Poe._ ”

He holds his hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll stop.”

You glance back at Armitage apologetically. “I _meant_ that with everyone splitting up to travel around to planets directly affected by the First Order, we’ll probably be on the move a lot. I was thinking about where I want to go just after I woke up.”

Finn raises his eyebrows from across the table. “And where is that?”

Part of you was hesitant to tell Armitage, to admit it to him, but the rest of you was just _itching_ to tell him what you’d come up with. You could only hope that he thought it was a good idea – and he _had_ been the one to suggest it anyway.

“I was thinking,” you meet Armitage’s eyes, “that you and I could go to Arkanis.”

He’s a little taken aback by your suggestion.

When he’d suggested visiting Arkanis with you the previous day, he hadn’t expected that it would be planned out this soon. He’d thought it would be in the future – perhaps so far in the future that it never happened at all. And the idea of visiting his home planet and probably not even recognising it… it slightly terrifies him. He clears his throat and stares at you for a moment, fumbles over his words for a few seconds, before he nods once, and then twice.

“When– when would we leave?”

You shrug a shoulder. “I don’t know – a few weeks, _maybe_? I want to stay here for a bit, get things sorted out and help the people that are going to stay here make it a real base. I’ll be flying to and from here for at least that long.” An idea suddenly comes to mind, and then you’re grinning up at him. “I could teach you how to fly!”

Armitage blanches. His cheeks redden. “ _What_?”

“I could teach you how to fly an X-wing, or whatever you want, really.”

Poe snorts from across the table. “I can see this ending very well.” His words are entirely sarcastic. Finn elbows him in the side and he winces at the impact.

“Perhaps we should just… take things one step at a time,” Armitage gently suggests instead. “Plan this trip to Arkanis, organise things for the base here… let’s not take on too much responsibility so soon.”

His words make sense. “One step at a time, then – Arkanis first. What do you say?”

He supposes the trip might not be so bad as long as you’re with him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux finds himself strangely fascinated by you, a Resistance fighter and pilot, even though he knows he shouldn’t. You know that there’s much more to him than you see on the surface.
> 
> This work contains spoilers from The Rise of Skywalker. It's advised you don't read if you haven't seen the film!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have part nine! This one took me a surprisingly long amount of time to write. I’m still not entirely happy with it, but I’m too excited to write Part Ten that I’m just biting the bullet and throwing this out into the void. I feel like this one has got the best of both worlds in it, though – soft, fluffy things and also angsty things that are Not What You Think They Are (remember this). I hope you enjoy this part and are excited for the next part, because then we are finally headed to Arkanis! 
> 
> Also... bearded Hux is a thing for now.

**FORTY-TWO DAYS LATER**

* * *

Armitage tries his hardest _not_ to flinch as he hears the familiar _snip_ of the scissors behind him.

You, scissors in hand, snort. “I’m not going to cut off a clump of your hair, Armitage. _Unless_ you forget what I said and actually _do_ flinch. Then, we might have to shave your head because I accidentally cut off too much.”

His lip curls. “I’d rather you not suggest such a thing. My hair, I rather like it how it is, thank you.”

 _Except,_ he thinks, for the beard that has been growing for the past month. You know he hates it. But there are no spare blades to shave to be found on Ajan Kloss and he hasn’t left the planet to find one since arriving back from Exegol. You’ve suggested he use scissors just to trim it but he’s dismissed that idea every time. He hopes he can find what he needs on Arkanis.

“Even the beard?”

He hesitates. “That, not so much.”

“I like it. I don’t know why you don’t.”

“I just... don’t. It makes me feel strange.”

“Plenty of people around here have beards. Haven’t you noticed? Beaumont has one, even Poe’s been growing one a little bit lately. It suits you.” Quietly, you think the beard looks very attractive on him. But you think it’s little too strange to admit to him, so you settle for casual flattery. “You fit right in.”

He hums. “Just what I’ve always wanted.”

You flick him on the back of the head with a finger.

Armitage goes to turn around and stare at you, but you stop him by holding his head in place and then beginning to trim his hair again.

“Uh-uh, we’re busy here. I’m working.”

Over the past month, his hair has grown a little longer than he likes it – and the heat hasn’t helped. It’s grown faster than he thinks it ever has, and he supposes the heat has something to do with the beard, too. He’d never thought that rumour was true, that hair grew faster in hot weather. Now, he has proof.

He’d been a little wary about asking you to cut it for him, simply because he didn’t know how you would react to it. But eventually, he had no other choice. The Resistance doesn’t have people for those kind of things. And you, well, you seemed thrilled about the idea. He can only hope you do a good job.

After a moment, and two more snips, you speak again. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?” You’re nervous. You won’t admit it, but you _are._ It’s not the first time you’ll be alone with Armitage, but it’s certain to be a change.

Armitage takes a moment to answer. “Slightly.”

“ _Slightly?_ What makes it only slightly?”

“I haven’t been to Arkanis since I was a child. I’m returning to a place that I feel like I should remember, but a place I doubt I really remember much of. I’m nervous about being disappointed by it.”

“I get that,” you admit. “I haven’t been there in a few years. It’s bound to have changed. I was a different person when I was there last, and the universe has changed with me. With _both_ of us.” You pause and cut a little more hair. “At least we’ll be seeing it all together. It’ll be good for us, I think. Good for us to get away from Ajan Kloss for a little while, to travel – and good for you to flex your newfound flying skills. You still up for being my co-pilot tomorrow?”

Armitage goes to nod, and then stops himself. “ _Yes,_ I’m still going to be your co-pilot. I just hope you don’t expect too much of me. _You_ have been flying half your life. _I_ have been flying for about forty days.”

“You’ve got this,” you pat him on the shoulder. “I trust you.”

He’s heard those words from you before, but they mean something different now. They mean something better. Instead of being a sort of “I trust the spy” kind of thing, it’s just something instinctual. In that you know who he is now. You know you can trust him as a person.

The thought prompts him to turn around, even despite your protests.

“What is it?” You inquire, raising your eyebrows as he looks at you.

“You said that so easily. _I trust you._ You said it like you meant it.”

Your eyebrows furrow. “I _do_ mean it.”

“Does it still not bother you sometimes? The fact that I was once First Order. That I fought against you, not with you? Do you still not worry about where my loyalties lie from time to time?”

The lightheartedness you felt moments earlier while joking around with him is gone. “Do I have something to worry about, then? Do you have something to tell me about where your loyalties lie, Armitage?”

He blanches. “No- no, that’s not what I meant– no.”

“Then what’s this all about?”

“It’s about… it’s about trust. I have been here with you for over a month now, and yet I still get sideways glances from people who trust you. I truly believe that you are the only person on this base that trusts me.”

You smile at him, a little sadly. “I know who you are, Armitage. I know who you are now. And you’re not First Order, you’re not a man plotting against the Resistance from the inside. I know who you are, and you’re not that.”

He stares at you for a moment. “And who do you think I am?”

“You– you’re my friend. You’re a member of the Resistance. You’re kind, if not stubborn and mildly irritating from time to time. You’re caring, and you’re compassionate, and I can see how much good you want to do but you just don’t know if you can do it because of your past.” You lean forward and take his hands in yours. “I know that you can. I know that you’re a different man than the one I met all those months ago. But I also know that part of the you you are now is the same you I saw buried deep within you back then. You’ve just… grown to become better.”

“You believe that? That I’m better?”

You smile softly. “Would the man you were back then let me cut his hair?”

And just like that, you’ve caught him.

* * *

Rey is hopeful when she leaves for Tatooine. You can see it on her face as she hugs you goodbye. You can see it in her smile when you offer to walk with her over to the Falcon. But you’re not sure how she can do it so easily.

How she can just get up and leave, travel on her own.

A different you would have. A younger one, the one who had left Arkanis without a care and joined the New Republic Defense Fleet _did._ But you’re a different person now. Now, you’ve put down foundations that you’re too scared to dig up again.

“Don’t you worry that it’ll feel strange?” You ask, looking down at Leia’s lightsaber in your hand as you stop in front of the Millennium Falcon. To you, the weapon feels entirely foreign, unnatural to hold, let-alone fight with, but to Rey, it’s something different. She looks at it with something else in her eyes.

She shakes her head. “I think it’s going to feel more like release. Like I’m laying Luke and Leia to rest together. Like I’m taking them home, in a way.”

You smile at the imagery her words provoke. “And are you sure you’re okay going alone? It’s not too late to ask someone to go with you, you know.”

“Are you offering?” Rey raises an eyebrow. But she’s smiling because she knows you can’t say yes. “I’m happy to go alone. I lived that way for most of my life. Are _you_ sure you’re going to be okay going to Arkanis with Armitage tomorrow?”

She’d caught on with calling him Armitage, at your request.

Most of the Resistance had – save a few people who still had no trust in him, even after a month of him placing his trust in them. His mention of people still watching him earlier that morning had reminded you of that.

At her words, you cross your arms and stare at her. “Rey, you _of all people_ know that Armitage can be trusted and that I have no reason to fear travelling alone with him. I met with him several times while he was still First Order, and I didn’t fear him then. I don’t fear him now either. Don’t tell me you’re having a change of heart.”

“No, no– not at all,” Rey defends herself. “You, _both of you,_ just need to be safe. Arkanis, it’s not going to be the same place you remember.” She pauses, thinks for a second, and then meets your eyes. “I’ve lost enough. We _all_ have. I can’t lose you too.”

Instinctively, you pull her into a hug and she hugs back without question.

“Yeah, not gonna happen. You’ll be here when we get back.”

“If you don’t beat me back, that is. Then you’ll have to wait for me.”

The hug lasts a few moments longer, and it’s nice. Over the past month, you’ve grown closer to Rey. She was a friend before, but now she’s even more of one. She’s one of the only people who has remained on the base on a full time basis that you make an effort to see every day. And now, with her leaving, you can’t help but feel sad as you think about how everything is changing now.

Changing for the better, you have to tell yourself.

She looks up at the Falcon when you pull away. “Don’t be mad at me for asking this…” She begins, and you instantly tense up, tranquility entirely gone. “Is there something going on with you and Armitage?”

Your eyebrows furrow. “Something _going on_? No. Why? Are people spreading rumours? I haven’t heard anything.”

“No, no. Not as far as I know, anyway. I’ve just noticed things.”

“What _things_ , Rey?”

“You cutting his hair this morning. You looked awfully close, and then he sleeps in your quarters too. You’re almost always with him. Poe said to me the other day that he finds it hard to get you alone at all, even to talk about important things.”

You’re shaking your head before she finishes. “That’s not true. I don’t spend _all_ of my time with him. And the time I _do_ spend with him, half of the time it’s unintentional,” you assure her, and you make a note to tell Poe too. “I’m just helping him settle, that’s all it is. This is all so new to him – you and I both know first hand how hard that can be, settling into a new home when you barely have good memories of an old one. Can you blame me for wanting to help him with that?”

“I can’t.”

Her words surprise you. They’re not what you expected when you accompanied her to the Falcon, and they’re not words you ever expected to hear in general. Though, as you think about them, you can hear where she’s coming from. You can understand how it might seem, but you know how it _is._

As she says her final goodbye to you minutes later and makes her way, alongside BB-8, onto the Falcon, you can’t help but wonder, though. Wonder if things just… aren’t what they seem anymore.

* * *

“I heard you’ve been telling Rey lies.”

Poe looks up as he hears you. You’re walking towards him, and you don’t look very impressed with him. He holds his hands up in surrender, utterly confused, and shakes his head.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Is Rey gone?”

“She’s just left. But _apparently_ you’re telling her that you can’t talk to me alone.”

He laughs a little awkwardly, and then beckons you to sit down on the seat opposite him from where he’s been sitting, cleaning his blaster. He sits it down on the ground next to him as you take a seat.

“Is she telling the truth?”

Poe regretfully nods. “She is. But I didn’t mean it in a harmful way– and where is Hugs anyway? I haven’t seen him since you finished giving him that haircut this morning.”

Internally, you groan. “Did _everyone_ see that happening?”

“It was about time it did. He was starting to look scruffy. The beard doesn’t help.”

“Well, he won’t cut it so there’s no use complaining about it.”

His lips curl up into a smile. “Where is he? I want to talk to him before the two of you leave tomorrow. To get him all up to speed on co-piloting and make sure he’s able to handle it all.”

You hold out a hand towards him to stop him. “He’s packing things up. But that’s not what I came over here to talk to you about. I came over here to ask you why you’re saying I’m spending all my time with Armitage when clearly,” you motion around yourself, “I’m very much not.”

Poe doesn’t see himself getting out of this one.

“I said it because it feels like it sometimes. The man, he sleeps in your quarters. You eat every meal together. I’ve never seen you befriend someone that quickly and trust someone so completely in such a short amount of time – and someone who was First Order, too. You were hesitant around me for a whole _month_ before you realised I wasn’t as terrible as you thought.”

“You are still pretty terrible.”

He narrows his eyes. “What I _mean_ is, after this trip to Arkanis… maybe you and me should just get back to basics, you know? He should be settled enough by then. He can survive without you.”

The words hit you hard – right in the wrong place – and you sigh. “I am very well aware that he can survive without me, Poe. Why do you feel so threatened by him?”

Poe reels. “ _Threatened_?”

“Yes, threatened. Why else would you try and push me away from a friend?”

“Is that what he is now? A friend?”

“Yes, do you have a problem with that?”

His moment of hesitation tells you all you need to know. You stand.

“You trusted Finn the second you met him and he was First Order. Why doesn’t Armitage get the same free pass when _he_ is part of the reason we won? And just when I started to think you liked him.” You shake your head and go to walk away, and then stop. “Armitage and I are leaving at first light. For your sake, Poe, I suggest you find a time to decipher your feelings by the time we get back.”

With that, you walk away both seething and wishing you could cry.

* * *

Armitage can tell that there’s something off as he watches you walk towards him. He’s standing by the ship you’re taking tomorrow, which he has just put some of his luggage on – not that he has much anyway, but he’s trying to be organised. But all worry about the trip tomorrow is gone as he sees you.

You’re wiping your face as you walk towards him.

“Have you been crying?”

“Absolutely not.”

You wipe your cheeks again with your hands.

“Is everything in order? I want to head out at first light. The sooner we’re out of here and on our way to Arkanis, the better, I think. That way we can make the most of the time we have there.”

Armitage furrows his eyebrows. You’re a terrible liar.

He decides, however, not to push the subject.

“Yes, as far as I can tell. There was a droid doing some final checks when I put my bag on board. Do you still have to pack your things? I don’t think I noticed anything packed away when I was in our quarters just now.”

The use of _our quarters_ has become commonplace.

You nod. “I do. I’m just gonna get on and give it a once over and then I’ll go and pack things up.” You look up at the sky, and though most of it is marred by the trees and nets above you, you can still make out the rapidly darkening sky. “It’ll be dark soon. I want to get an early night so I’m well rested for the trip.”

He’s never seen you like this before – not since he’d first arrived on Ajan Kloss and you had been hit with the announcement that General Leia Organa was dead. That had been different, though. That had been soul consuming grief. And this… he doesn’t quite know how to identify it. He just knows he doesn’t like it, not much at all.

Still, he follows you as you walk up the ramp leading onboard the small ship.

The ship that the two of you are taking to Arkanis is much smaller than the Millennium Falcon, but much bigger than your X-wing. You hadn’t had an awful lot of choice when it came to picking one, which is how the both of you had ended up with this one. Over the past month, you’ve been teaching Armitage to fly in it, and he’s still a little wobbly with the controls, but he thinks he’s getting the hang of it. Or, at least, he hopes he does. Most of his training is riding on tomorrow.

“It shouldn’t be too hard to find a place to sleep on Arkanis,” you speak as you walk past a small room towards the left of the cockpit, “but we should take some pillows and blankets from our quarters just in case we have to make camp on here. What do you think?”

Armitage nods. “That would make sense.”

You’d asked him earlier that morning if he was nervous. He’d said slightly. But as the day has gone by, his nerves have increased, and he can’t quite put a finger on _why._ He suspects it’s a culmination of things, and as he follows you around the ship, he has a feeling that being alone with you – _really_ alone – for the first time in months might have something to do with it.

He is not the same Armitage Hux as he was when you met.

Part of him wonders if you still like him as much as you liked the _old_ him.

* * *

You pause as the both of you exit the ship. It’s darker now, and the lights around the bae have come on, lighting you up so that Armitage can see you properly. It’s the first time he notices that your eyes are a little bloodshot.

He can’t help himself from asking.

“Are you all right? Did something happen when you said goodbye to Rey?”

You look up at him and shake your head. “No, it’s just… it’s Poe.”

Armitage furrows his eyebrows. “Poe?”

“We had a conversation. He’s being very… overbearing, for lack of a better word. I suppose we sort of had a fight, but hopefully the distance will do us some good and we’ll get back and everything will be fine.”

He hopes, for your sake, that you’re right.

Against his better judgment, Armitage likes Poe. He’d had his reasons to very much dislike him in the past, but over the past month, he’s grown to respect him. Hearing you talk about him so positively, so strongly. One night, you’d told him all about how you’d met him – though he was unaware that you left out certain details about your departure from Arkanis – and he’d smiled the whole way through.

For a man who hasn’t truly had a friendship his entire life, he finds he rather likes hearing about other peoples. And now he, somewhat strangely, has a friendship of his own.Several, perhaps.

He steps forward and places a hand on your shoulder, and you glance up at him.

“Whatever it is, I am positive you will both work it out.”

You smile up at him. “I do hope you’re right.”

* * *

When Poe starts to approach him as he eats dinner alone later that night, he makes a quick and silent exit. He calls it _defending your honour._ But as he slips back into your quarters and sees you fast asleep in your bed, he wonders if that’s all it is.

* * *

It’s only just starting to get light when you and Armitage emerge from your quarters. You’re both dressed and ready to leave the humid Ajan Kloss weather and enter the rainy Arkanis air and there are only a few people milling about the base as you both cross it and head to your ship. You’re grateful nobody stops you.

You’re much too eager to get into the air.

And then you’re on the ship, and Armitage is smiling at you as he helps you lift the ship up off of the ground of Ajan Kloss and into the air. He feels like his heart is in his throat as the ship goes higher and higher, and then the jungles of Ajan Kloss are gone and replaced by the ever black darkness of space, spotted with stars.

“No turning back now,” you turn to him with a tight lipped smile.

He hums. “I’m not one for turning back. Not anymore.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux finds himself strangely fascinated by you, a Resistance fighter and pilot, even though he knows he shouldn’t. You know that there’s much more to him than you see on the surface.
> 
> This work contains spoilers from The Rise of Skywalker. It's advised you don't read if you haven't seen the film!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woop, woop! We’ve hit the milestone of ten parts – but the fun is not over yet. I love this part. I mean, I love it so much. I think it’s the most fun I’ve had writing a part since the early parts that followed the storyline of TROS. I hope you’ll all enjoy it just as much, especially because I know that you guys have been looking forward for them to head to Arkanis ever since I mentioned it forever ago. Thank you for all the love so far, so excited for what you’ll think of this one and beyond!
> 
> Also – I think I forgot to thank you all for 200 kudos the other day! So thank you, thank you, thank you! Wow!

The rain, Armitage notices, smells different on Arkanis. It’s cooler, much more fresh, crisper and nicer. But overall, the planet doesn’t smell like he expected it to smell, it doesn’t smell like home, it doesn’t smell like forgotten memories. It doesn’t look like he expected it to look.

It’s raining when the two of you settle the ship down on the ground, as he expected it would be. He’s used to rain after living on Ajan Kloss for a month. This rain, it’s something different. Where Ajan Kloss is humid rain, Arkanis is cold rain. The moment he steps out of the ship with you by his side, the chill air causes goosebumps to arise on his arms.

“This is… not what I was expecting,” Armitage speaks as he looks at the rain falling around him. He’s still under the cover of the ship, but some of the spray still wets his arms and the bottom of his trousers.

“What were you expecting?”

“Not this. I didn’t expect this much rain. Rain, yes, but not this much of it. That sounds rather silly now that I say it, but I’m hoping you know what I mean. I just mean it’s nothing like how I remembered it,” he admits, looking out at the city around him. “This place I’m standing now, the things I’m looking at, I feel like I should remember them. I feel like I should have a connection with this place, but instead I’m looking at it now, and I don’t.”

You cross your arms as you look out at the planet you called home. It _does_ look different, just like Rey had said it would be. You didn’t realise it had been this long since you’d been home. And really, could you even call it your home anymore?

“We’ve only just touched down. There’s plenty of time to start remembering things, or to not remember things at all,” you nudge him.

Arkanis reminds you a little of Kef Bir – only because of the overcast sky and the sound of water, but rain here instead of the ocean. And this time, you’re here with Armitage by your side too. It’s a nice sort of full circle.

“Come on, let’s get going. It took longer than I’d have liked for us to get here and I want to get started as soon as possible.” You step off the ship and out into the rain, narrowly avoiding a muddy puddle to your right. “ _And_ I want to see what you remember, or what you don’t.”

You flash him a grin, and Armitage lets out a breathy laugh in reply as he follows you off the ship. The ramp closes behind you, and he follows your lead away from it and down the hill towards the city.

Into the city he once called home.

* * *

It’s nearly midday when the two of you finally make it into the city. It’s not busy outside, which you blame on the constant rainfall that hasn’t let up since you arrived. It’s one of the only things that you remember as being the same – the rain. When the two of you find a small bar after a few minutes of wandering, _that_ is where you find probably all of the inhabitants of the city.

You’ve never been in here before – and for good reason. You were too young _and_ too preoccupied with flying, and then you’d left Arkanis and thought it would be for good. It feels a little bittersweet, being back.

“What’s our plan, then?” Armitage asks you as you walk towards the bar to order.

“Well, have a drink, settle ourselves, get some energy back from the early start, and then we just start a conversation. Tell them who we are, why we’re here in Arkanis, start talking. It all depends on whether they’re willing to open up to us and let us help them if they need it.”

Arkanis hadn’t been hit so hard by the First Order. It was relatively out of the way, settled firmly in the Outer Rim, and the New Republic had held a firm grip on it for as long as it could. It still remained a wealthy planet because of it, but by the looks of it now, things had changed a little. Things had been changing when you’d left, but you hadn’t noticed them. You’d been too focused on the future ahead of you.

But the First Order had reigned terror over every planet, no matter how strong.

You slide into a seat by the bar and Armitage joins you.

There are people staring at him. He notices.

“What’ll you have?” A woman stares at the two of you from across the bar.

You hesitate. “Uh– two– two moof juices? Please.”

She nods, and then disappears off to get them for the both of you.

Armitage clears his throat. “Everybody in here is staring at us.” He speaks, leaning in close so that only you can hear him. “I think some of them know who I am. Perhaps I should go back and wait in the ship.”

“No, you’re just as important here as I am. We do this together.” You assure him.

His suspicions are confirmed only a few moments later as someone taps him rather harshly on the shoulder, and instinctively, he turns around to look at him.

It’s a large man – taller than him, and bigger in size and frame, too, and Armitage nearly balks at the sight of him. He can’t at _all_ be entirely human. He narrows his eyes as he looks at Armitage’s face, and then turns around and looks at a group of other men and women sitting on a table by the door.

“It is ‘im an’ all, knew it from the secon’ I saw ‘im,” he shakes his head. “You, you’re First Order. Thought the lot o’ you went down in that big fight. How come you made it ou’ alive then, eh? How come you’re posin’ as Resistance?”

Armitage stumbles over his words, and it’s exactly what the man wants.

“You both First Order, then?” His gaze switches to you. “Both posin’ as Resistance, both tryin’ to hide from the rest of the world now that you’ve lost everythin’? ‘Bout time, in my opinion. You ain’t got no place here on Arkanis. Get outta here, both o’ you.”

You shake your head and go to stand. “No, we’re not First Order. He was, but he’s now on our side – he helped us win. We’re here to help with the recovery. To talk and help you find normality again in any way we can.”

The man snorts. “‘Ere to ‘elp with the recovery? Yeah, bollocks.”

“No, really, sir–“

Armitage makes the mistake to stand in a paltry attempt to defend you as the other man takes a step towards you. He regrets his decision just before he lands firmly in a rather deep puddle of water outside the bar, his knees, legs and arms soaked. He groans as the impact takes full force.

You land somewhere beside him, equally soaked, and turn to stare up at the sky – the rain has eased off a little, not much, but a little. And you’re soaked from the puddle anyway, so what does it matter?

“That… did not go as planned.”

He pushes himself to his feet. “I apologise. That was my fault.”

It was a bad idea for him to join you on this trip to Arkanis, even though it had been your idea that the both of you go there together anyway. He’d thought he’d made a good choice in tagging along… but now he just feels shame.

Shame that _you_ are here to help, and he is here to hinder.

He holds a hand out toward you. You take it and accept the help to stand.

“It is _not_ your fault. They’d probably be weary of me if it were just me, anyway,” you shake your head, and then look down at your water soaked shoes. “I have an idea for what we can do instead. At least until some of the locals agree to cooperate.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Change out of these wet clothes?”

“Well, _yes._ But after that, I’m going to take you on a small tour. Where we _hopefully_ won’t have to run into any locals and get thrown in puddles again. But we might end up accidentally stepping in some anyway.”

He’s confused. “Care to tell me where you’re taking me?”

You meet his eyes and smile. “I’m going to take you to where I grew up.”

* * *

As soon as you’re out of your wet clothes and dry – or as dry as you _can_ be on a rainy planet – you both leave the confines of the ship again and, instead of heading off down towards the main city, you lead Armitage away from it towards a large, dreary looking forest.

He’s intrigued by your promise – you taking him to where you grew up. It had been the last thing he expected, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t interested about your life here on Arkanis. He’d been gone by the time you were born, since he’d left when he was five, but you’d been here longer than he had been. And he had noticed that you talked about it less. That you skirted around things and thought he didn’t notice.

He does. He notices everything.

Most of all, he notices that you never talk about specifics. You never said _why_ you left Arkanis to join the New Republic Defense Fleet. You never said _why_ you started to learn how to fly or what you did in your spare time while you learnt.

Armitage Hux knows a lot about you, but there were things he doesn’t. Things he _wants_ to know. It works both ways – there are things about him that _you_ don’t know. But they’re the same things he doesn’t know if he wants you to know.

He walks a little behind you as you lead him away from the city and into the forest. The brush above you stops the rain a little, though the ground is still wet and a little muddy and he’s hoping his shoes won’t get stuck.

It feels like you’ve both been walking for hours, and he truly believes that you might have been, when he sees something up ahead.

The place… it _looks_ like a house. But it also doesn’t resemble one at all. It’s round, but one side of it is crumbled to the ground, entirely destroyed, and the other half looks like it’s never been touched. And it’s small – smaller than he’d expected.

“Is this…?”

You nod as you stop in front of it. “This was home. It hasn’t been for a long time.”

Armitage stops beside you, crosses his arms over his chest, looks up at the destroyed house. Where he’d lived on Arkanis, he didn’t know. And it wasn’t like there was anyone he could ask. But he’d expected your home to be… intact. You’ve never said otherwise.

“I know, it’s a bit of a mess,” you smile sheepishly up at him. “But after it was destroyed, I moved away. I got a small room in the city which was closer to where I was being taught to fly. I didn’t have the nerve _or_ the funds to fix it, so I left it.”

He stares at you for a moment, confused. “What about your family?”

“They’re dead – my parents. They died.” You speak simply, and then you feel the need to tell him how and why. And it’s strange – because you’ve never really told anyone, only Poe and Leia, but you’re here with Armitage, and he is the first person seeing the remnants of what your life on Arkanis had been, and you feel like you owe it to _yourself_ to be honest. “When the New Republic took hold of Arkanis, things were fine for a few years. But as time went on, there were some Imperial loyalists still here, floating around, causing trouble when nobody was watching. I was sixteen, and my parents had stood up for someone at the market. Someone who these Imperial loyalists were targeting for their belief in the New Republic. And then, later that night, when I was out flying with my instructor, those same loyalists came here… and did this.”

Armitage feels like his heart is in his throat.

“They did– they did _this_?”

“Yes.”

He’s never wanted to hug anybody more than you right now. But you’re pretending like everything didn’t happen moments after telling him everything he didn’t know he wanted to know. You’re turning away from the house and taking a deep breath and _thanking_ him for listening. And he can’t bring himself to do it like you would. All he can think about is how grateful he is. How grateful he is that you opened up to him. That he is the first and only person to see the place first hand.

And then things fall back to normal just as rain starts to seep through the leaves above you once more. You’ve forgotten almost entirely about the words you’d spoken, the truth you’d let him into, and you’re back to thinking about your mission.

“I don’t think we’re going to get anymore out of these people today,” you say, looking back towards the city even though all you can see is trees. “We should try again tomorrow. We might have more luck then.”

Armitage, not for the first time, decides not to push.

* * *

You sit your empty container from dinner down on the grass beside you and lean back against the ramp of the ship. Arkanis looks beautiful out in front of you. The rain has fallen back to a light drizzle, and in the distance you can see the lights of the city, shining brightly. It makes you smile. You can remember seeing that view from your room years ago. It’s different now, but it still carries the same sense of comfort as it always did.

“It’s beautiful here,” you hum.

After the day you’ve had, you’re happy to just have a moment to breathe and feel calm for a second. Even though Arkanis is your home, you’d felt a little out of place all day, and this is the first place you feel like it’s home again… in some way, anyway.

Armitage isn’t looking at the city when he agrees with you.

He’s looking at you.

But then you glance over at him and he tears his eyes away and finally settles them on the lights in the distance. You weren’t going to venture into it again tonight, and your plan of finding a bed in the city was pretty much destroyed by your being thrown out of the bar earlier in the day, and so the ship remained your base.

“So, tell me – what do you remember about this place? Have you remembered anything during our day here?

“Not as much as I would have liked to.”

He looks off into the distance. He remembers _that_ ridge in the mountains, he used to be able to see it from his bedroom window, but from where he sits right now, that’s all he can remember. It’s a little disheartening.

“Well… I used to fly over those mountains,” you start to explain. “When I was just learning, the woman who taught me would challenge me to fly up, out and around them all and be back within a set amount of time. I used to ace it.”

Armitage’s lips quirk up. “I somehow don’t doubt that at all.”

“I’m an incredible pilot, you’ve witnessed it first hand. But I’m not going to go into detail about the time that I _nearly_ crashed an X-wing between those mountains over there.” You point over to the left and Armitage looks at where you point.

“Mmm, probably better to keep my good opinion of you.”

“Oh, there are things I could tell you about me growing up here… I’ll save it, though.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Save it for when?”

“For when we come back.”

Your words take him off guard. “We’re coming back?”

“Uh-huh.” You’re nodding excitedly. “I mean, the locals might not like us very much. But this is home, right? Well, one of them. Whenever we win over the locals, they’ll beg to have us back. And we’ll have to choice but to come back and grace them with our presence.”

He snorts. “I don’t think anyone could say I _grace their presence.”_

You shrug a shoulder. “You’ve graced mine.”

He nearly chokes on air itself.

He should say something. He can’t think of anything worthy. So, he stays silent. Stares down at the ground in front of him and fiddles with the edges of his own empty container. And he can feel you looking at him, but he can’t bring himself to look up at you. He’s worried about what you’ll see if he does.

And then, you break the silence – by thankfully changing the subject.

“Arkanis, then. Would you live here again? Work here? Find a life here?”

He chooses to stare out at the city as he answers.

“If you’d asked me that when we first got here, I would have said yes. But now, I’m not sure if I could. I think I would be better finding a planet I’ve never been to before. A planet that the First Order never even _thought_ of touching. And then settling myself there in silence.” He pauses. “A place where nobody looks at me like the people here did this morning.”

His words break your heart a little. But you know where he’s coming from – you’d seen those looks in the eyes of the people in the bar. Half of them had been directed at you, and the Resistance uniforms hadn’t saved you from them – hadn’t saved Armitage from them. Still, they found him. Still, those eyes tore down the walls he’d been building up for the past month to cover the First Order part of him.

You can already see him starting to rebuild them.

“You have Ajan Kloss for as long as you want it. You know that, right?”

He nods. Once.

You take that as your cue to slowly shuffle over closer to him, so you’re sitting right beside him. You nudge him with your elbow, and _finally_ he looks at you again.

There’s a look in his eyes you’ve never seen before.

“It’s not going to be like this forever. The strange looks, the judgemental people. It’s just like this for now. And soon enough, things will change and the First Order will just be a bad memory. And you’ll be free to live the life you want to without fear of others judging you for it.”

Armitage looks down at you, looks into your eyes, and his lips quirk up into the smallest of smiles, but you still see it. And your words – they’re words that he wanted to hear, but words he didn’t _know_ he wanted to hear. It’s like they’ve travelled straight to his heart and hit home.

Because a different Armitage wouldn’t have believed in them. But him – _this_ Armitage, the one he is now, the one he’s happy to be, does. He believes them. He has to. He _has_ to believe that the First Order is soon going to be nothing but a bad memory. He _has_ to believe that there will soon be better. That better _will_ come.

You smile sweetly up at him then, and his breath catches in his throat.

He’s looking at you… and you’re looking at him, and something travels between you both in that small moment. And then, Armitage starts to lean in – instinctively. He’s never done this before. He’s never _felt_ a feeling like this before… but he hopes he’s doing the right thing… not overstepping. He wonders if he should ask. He wonders if that would ruin the moment. But no– he _should_ ask. He’s going to ask– and then he notices that you’re doing the same as he is. And–

Something thumps on the grass a few feet away from you, and he jumps. His eyes flicker between you and the source of the noise, and the moment is gone just as quickly as it came. His chance disappears before he even realises it’s gone.

A woman pulls herself up from the grass where she’s just fallen. She looks over at the both of you a little sheepishly. “It’s muddy there– watch your feet if you walk there.”

You glance at her, and then back at Armitage– and your mind whirs with the possibility of what was just about to happen. And… _of course_ there was an interruption.

“I was in the bar this morning,” the woman continues, “and I heard what you were talking about. I didn’t want to say anything then, but I saw you two leaving the market earlier and coming this way. And I wanted to talk to you, so I followed you… I know, that sounds creepy, but I don’t mean it that way. I just… I lost my parents to the First Order… and I don’t know how to resume normal life knowing that the First Order is gone… and I just wondered if you could help.”

And then you’re springing into action.

Armitage watches wordlessly as you stand up and wander over to her, _and_ as you start to talk to her about her inquiry. His eyebrows furrow a little as he stares. As he thinks about what he was about to do. About _why_ he was about to do it. About why he was about to do something he’s never done before in his life.

And he knows. He knows why. He knows why, and it terrifies him.

He’ll have to do something about that.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux finds himself strangely fascinated by you, a Resistance fighter and pilot, even though he knows he shouldn’t. You know that there’s much more to him than you see on the surface.
> 
> This work contains spoilers from The Rise of Skywalker. It's advised you don't read if you haven't seen the film!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part – it’s been very anticipated, and I’m very happy with how this part turned out. I feel like this is where all the real fun begins... and I hope you won’t hate me too much for it. This chapter is a puddle of pure angst with a lil bit o’ happy thrown in the middle. I promise I won’t keep you waiting too long for Part Twelve!:) Enjoy!
> 
> And thank you so much for 300 kudos!

When he wakes up the next morning on the ship, his neck a little sore from sleeping so fitfully and uncomfortably, you’re already awake. You’re sitting across from him, a book open in front of you, eating something you’d brought from home.

 _Home._ Is that what Ajan Kloss is to him now? Home?

The word doesn’t sound right anymore.

And after last night… he’s not sure _what_ feels right.

He pushes himself up to sit straight and wipes his eyes with his hands to try and wake himself up. He’s tired – sleeping on a small, uncomfortable seat was worse than his makeshift bed back on Ajan Kloss. And he’d had trouble falling asleep in the first place. You’d seemingly fallen asleep easily. He had been awake at least half the night.

Armitage had thought he could never feel more ashamed than when the two of you were kicked out of the bar yesterday morning. But he had been wrong – he _could_ feel more ashamed, and he did.

He sniffs, and you look up.

“Oh, you’re awake. It’s already mid-morning. I was waiting for you.”

You close the book in front of you and finish off your food. He looked so peaceful sleeping, and you didn’t want to wake him. For two reasons – you wanted a moment to yourself to pretend you were reading but to _really_ ponder last night and because he had looked rather tired when you’d eventually come inside to retire for the night.

“You could have woken me. Aren’t we supposed to be working?”

You shrug at him, and things feel different all of a sudden.

He doesn’t like how different things feel. He wishes he hadn’t gone to sleep. He wishes he hadn’t tried to kiss you. But most of all, he wishes he hadn’t failed so miserably.

Then, you stand up from your seat and grab your coat from where it’s laying on the seat beside you. You’re shrugging it on, and all Armitage can do is watch you. He can’t hear the rain outside, nor can he see it, but he knows that’s what the coat is for. _That_ and you’re doing it to make him actually get up and do something.

“You can go without me,” he offers as he stands. “If you tell me where you’re going.”

“No,” you’re shaking your head. “No, we’ll go together. And that woman last night, Sira, she’s organising a meeting down by the markets this morning with a few others who want to talk to us. You should be there for it– for all of it.”

He looks at you then. _Really_ looks at you. Those same feelings from last night stir impatiently in his chest, and he stands up a little straighter. Squashes them down. It’s the only way he’s going to get through today without feeling so ashamed he combusts.

“You’re right,” he hums in reply, and grabs his own coat. “I’ll meet you outside. I need a moment to wake myself up, and then I’ll be with you.”

You watch as he nods at you and then walks out of the room, disappearing into the main corridor of the ship and down towards the small washroom. Your heart is beating _fast_ in your chest, and you let out a shaky breath of air as you follow after him, but make a detour down the ramp just as he’d instructed.

He had no idea that you had barely slept a wink all night. That the book you’d been reading when he’d woken up had been finished _hours_ ago because you’d chosen to try and occupy your mind with anything other than sleep or thoughts of _what if?_

You intend for him to remain unaware.

During your sleepless night, you’d constructed a plan – a plan to just move on. To go about your day on Arkanis as you’d planned to, and to _hopefully_ get some more information and be able to help those on the planet that wanted your help after all. You only have two more days here, and you want to make them count.

You _don’t_ want your mind to be clouded with what you may or may not feel for Armitage Hux. And you’d thought that, if he is to mention it, you’d be okay with that too… though you wonder now if he even remembers it at all.

As he joins you again and the two of you start the trek down from the ship to the markets, your heart flutters again, and you have no choice but to push your own feelings down – entirely unaware that he’s doing the same.

When your feelings for the man came along, you’re not sure. What they are _exactly,_ you don’t know either. What you _do_ know… is that last night you really wish you hadn’t been interrupted when you were.

* * *

Armitage really doesn’t know what to say to the people of Arkanis, so he stands back and watches. He _waits_ for someone to say something to him, but secretly wishes that they don’t. You’re doing all the talking, and you’re not paying attention to him, which gives him the perfect few moments to just watch you. To try and figure you out in his mind. To figure out the sudden feelings that have been bugging him all morning.

He bristles a little as a man, about the same height and build as him and definitely _not_ as intimidating as the man in the bar yesterday, sidles up to him with a smile.

“She was saying before that you both grew up here.”

He nods. “Her more than I, but I did spend a few years here.”

“And then you joined the First Order.”

Armitage lets out a small breath and turns to the man. “If you’ve been talking to her,” he nods towards you, “then you ought to know that I am not First Order any longer, and nor do I wish to talk about my decisions behind joining.”

He wasn’t going to admit that to anyone - much less a stranger. This man, he didn’t need to know about his horrible father, and his even worse mother. About his fathers horrible friends and the way he’d been treated as a child likely causing him to become the man he was trying so hard _not_ to be now.

Hell, _you_ barely knew about that.

The man, though, surprises him and holds his hands up in surrender. “I’m not judging, I’m really not– I was a Stormtrooper. I escaped about… two years ago? I think it was something like that. I remember seeing you there. When I was still there too,” he explains. “You did… I _saw_ you do some terrible things.”

The tether inside Armitage snaps, and his good mood from watching you interact with the locals so casually and easily and _beautifully_ is gone. He _knows_ this. He doesn’t need to be reminded when his own mind does a good job of that itself.

He turns, glares at the man, and speaks. “I am certain that I am not the only one to have done wrong on behalf of the First Order. If _you_ were a Stormtrooper as you say you are, you would have done so too. I did not come to Arkanis to be lectured.”

And with that, he walks away and disappears from the markets entirely.

* * *

You notice that Armitage is gone only a few minutes later. He’d been stood talking to a man you’d met briefly but hadn’t exchanged many words with, but then he was gone. You carefully excuse yourself from your conversation with a few of Sira’s friends and wander over to the man.

“Would you mind telling me where Armitage went?”

Thunder cracks overhead, and the man looks slightly shell-shocked, but you have a feeling it’s not from the scare of the thunder. You’re worried before you even have a reason to be.

He points to his right. “I was just trying to tell him that I think it’s great he managed to get out of there– that he managed to get out of the First Order and make a life for himself here– and he thought I was lecturing him or something– he just– he just he just walked away.”

Hesitantly, you squeeze his shoulder and give him a reassuring smile. “He’s still getting used to life here without the First Order. But I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I’ll go and see what’s wrong– don’t let it worry you.”

Before he can so much as say anything else, you’re following where he pointed, looking for Armitage. People run past you as they rush to shelter, the rain starting to become a little heavier now, but all you’re worried about is finding him.

* * *

You find Armitage standing under a small awning, staring out at the mountains in the distance. He looks a little shaken, and his light brown shirt is dotted with rain, his hair wet and drooping over his forehead.

“Oh– finally. I’ve been looking for you. What happened?”

He looks up and cringes as he sees you. He missed the brunt of the rain. You did _not._ He feels even worse for making you have to search for him in the rain.

“That man,” he shakes his head, “was insulting me.”

You raise your eyebrows. “That _man,_ if you’d stayed and listened, was actually just trying to tell you that he thought it was great you managed to get away from the First Order and begin living a real life.”

Armitage pauses, looks at the mountains again, and then back at you.

“Well then why didn’t he get to the point earlier?”

Your lips twitch up into a smile. “I don’t know, but I _do_ know you owe him an apology, Armitage. He looked like he’d been slapped when I asked him where you were. I don’t think he was expecting you to be so cold.”

“Is that what you think I am? Cold?”

“Armitage, that’s not what I said.”

He stares out at the mountains once more, and this time keeps his eyes on them. He can feel the shame sinking back in the longer he’s alone with you. It was better back at the markets – better when he could watch you and not have you watch him in return. Better when he felt like you didn’t remember the night before.

Without taking his eyes away from his view, he speaks again – but softer this time, not as accusatory as before. He’s changing the subject. He has to. “I remembered something about Arkanis while I was walking here.”

“Yeah?”

“I think the reason I don’t remember much is both because I was too young and also because there wasn’t enough good _to_ remember. My family, they weren’t the _best_ of parents. I am a bastard, so my real mother, I never met, and Maratelle… despised me more than my father did, which is certainly saying something. But whenever my father was busy, they would leave me with a woman meant to take care of me – and I remembered the place she’d take me sometimes when my father was particularly… _nasty_. I think I thought it was the most beautiful place in all of Arkanis.”

“Does it still exist?”

He nods. “As far as I’m aware, it’s six floors above where I’m standing right now.”

You turn and look at the door behind you. “Do you want to go up?”

He surprises you by shaking his head. “We can’t. There’s a key card slot right there, and we don’t have access. I imagine it’s only for wealthy people of Arkanis now. But this view… this view is good enough.”

The mountains are clouded in fog and mist from the rain, but behind them you think you can see the _hint_ of sunshine – a rarity on Arkanis. You hadn’t seen any since you’d arrived. There are trees swaying in the breeze, and thunder rumbling overhead, and rain still dripping down from the awning above your heads, and you know why the woman used to bring Armitage here.

You don’t think you’ve felt this calm since you arrived.

Armitage is smiling weakly as he takes in the view. It’s not the same from so low down on the ground… but it does the job. It makes him calm enough, and after the conversation he’d had with the man earlier… calm was what he needed.

Never mind the fact that his heart felt like it was beating out of his chest with you so close to him, his mind slightly marred with memories of last night once more. Never mind all that. For now, all he would mind was the fact that yesterday, you’d taken him to your old home in Arkanis… and today, he had taken you to the equivalent of his.

* * *

It’s quiet when you both return to your ship for the night.

The day had been successful – you, _mostly_ you and not Armitage, had spoken to several people from Arkanis city who had been more than happy to get the answers they’d been looking for or to ask questions they’d been waiting to. You hoped that tomorrow would be even more successful, considering it was your last day.

After finding Armitage, and after he’d showed you his place, the both of you had returned to the markets, though most people had crowded around inside a bar close by – a different one (luckily) to the one you’d been kicked out of yesterday. You’d all spent the afternoon eating, talking and drinking.

Armitage had spent the afternoon drinking, thinking and watching.

You hadn’t forced him to do anything else. He’d apologised to the man he’d gotten angry at, who had been grateful for the apology, and then he’d shrunk into himself.

Things were slowly becoming more and more complicated.

And you feel you’re only about to make things more complicated when you finally say the words that Armitage has been dreading all day long.

“I think we need to talk about what happened last night.”

He freezes in the middle of unfolding the blanket for his bed. _No. No. No._

“Nothing happened last night.”

His words are predictable, and you nearly smile at them. “ _No,_ but something was about to when we were interrupted. You and I both know it, Armitage. We’ve been dancing around it all day. We may as well just talk about it.”

Armitage says nothing. He continues unfolding his blanket in silence.

You stand up and hesitantly walk over to him, standing beside him so that he can see you out of the corner of his eye. “Armitage, come on– please, let’s just talk about this. Let’s be adults. You’ve been acting strange all day, and I don’t think it’s just because of what made you angry this morning. I don’t know what you were thinking last night but–“

He spins around and stares at you, cutting you off instantly.

“I don’t know what I was thinking either. All I know is that it was a mistake, and I am ashamed to have embarrassed myself in front of you last night. It was nothing but a lapse in my judgment. I hope you’ll accept my apologies and allow me to find an alternate sleeping location tonight so that I may not bother you any longer.”

You try and stop him, but he’s grabbed his blanket and fled from the room before you can get a chance to. The door closes in your face, and you stand facing it, unable to bring yourself to reach down and open it to follow him. You feel like the wind has been knocked out of you. And you have no choice but to let him go.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux finds himself strangely fascinated by you, a Resistance fighter and pilot, even though he knows he shouldn’t. You know that there’s much more to him than you see on the surface.
> 
> This work contains spoilers from The Rise of Skywalker. It's advised you don't read if you haven't seen the film!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised I wouldn’t make you wait too long for Part Twelve, but this part was really strangely hard to write, which also explains why it’s so short. But there is also a point in making it so short as I do want it to just read as a snippet of time, as that’s what it is, and a part of time where Armitage and Reader are just sort of... floating in their uncertainties. And then things will start getting on track in the next part for a finale in the next three-four chapters! Anyway, sorry for the wait and I hope you enjoy it!

It’s ironic.

The fact that, when you both leave Arkanis, it’s not raining. That there’s a hint of _sun_ on the horizon, and you’re flying away from it. Both of you sat in silence, both of you wanting to say things but not knowing _what_ to say. There have been a million possibilities in mind over the past few hours, but none of them seem right.

You can count the times that you’ve spoken to each other since on one hand.

He hadn’t joined you yesterday, on your final day on Arkanis. He’d chosen to explore – or so he said. For all you know, he could have stayed on the ship all day. You’d been busy back at the markets, making a list of contacts that you could hand over to Poe when you got back.

And _then_ there was the matter of Poe.

You hadn’t left on good terms. You’d left with Poe being wary of Armitage, and you defending him – and now you’re returning barely on speaking terms with Armitage himself. It’s a strange, uncomfortable full circle and you’re not looking forward to the confrontation that’s inevitable when you touch back down on Ajan Kloss.

When you settle into hyperspace, Armitage excuses himself from the cockpit, and you wonder, ever so briefly, if possibly Rey and Poe had been somewhat right all along.

* * *

Armitage exits the ship before you do, his bag over his shoulder and a slight scowl on his face. He leaves you to pack everything else up, of which there luckily isn’t too much, and you’re half way through doing so when Poe appears behind you, arms crossed.

You assume he’s seen Armitage, then.

“How was your trip?” He asks, a little smugly.

You fix him with a glare. “If you’ve come in here to gloat, I’d really rather you not, Poe. I don’t know what Armitage has told you, but it’s really a lot more complicated than you’re obviously assuming right now.”

Poe furrows his eyebrows. His cheeky mood is gone. “Armitage hasn’t told me anything. I just saw him go, and you didn’t follow. Did something happen?” He’sfeeling protective – you can hear it in his voice.

“Do you want me to admit that you told me so? Is that why you’re here?”

He scoffs. “No, I don’t. I’m asking you earnestly. What happened?”

For the first time, you stop what you’re doing and stand up straight. You look him in the eyes and are surprised to find actual, genuine concern in them. But his comments from before are still whirring in your mind, and he’s not the right person to confess everything to. You can’t confess things to someone who might throw it all back in your face later, and so you settle for the next option.

“Is Rey back?”

Poe gives you a look. “Yeah, she’s in the Falcon. Are you going to tell me–“

“No.” You speak simply. “Because honestly, I’m not sure what happened myself.”

You smile weakly at him and hang your bag over your shoulder before you exit the ship yourself. You don’t even contemplate stopping by your quarters as you leave. Your first and only port of call is the Millennium Falcon and Rey. Because if anyone is going to have any kind of advice… you hope it’s her.

* * *

Rey looks at you with no judgment in her eyes, and it’s exactly what you were hoping to get from her. That’s not what you need right now, judgment. You need understanding. You need to be able to understand what happened yourself, and with Rey being the only other person on Ajan Kloss who had truly had a connection with someone in the First Order other than you, the two of you had created your own bond. Her relationship with Kylo Ren, or _Ben,_ as she often referred to him, was entirely different than yours with Armitage, but you’d found similarities.

“You never tried to talk to him about it?”

“When I did, he shut it down. I don’t want to push him. It’s not fair on him.”

She gives you an unimpressed look. “It’s not fair on _you,_ either.”

You shrug a shoulder and slump down a little in your chair on the Falcon. It had been easier to stay and talk here, because you knew nobody would overhear you. Armitage is… well, you have no idea where he is, but he isn’t anywhere close, and that helps with confessing everything. Everything you’re sure of, anyway.

“I think I just need to give him a bit of space. It’s only been – what, two days? He probably just needs some time to figure out his mind. And even if we never talk about what could have happened… he’s a friend, you know? We all need to come together right now, not split apart. I can’t handle truly losing a friendship… not after Leia.”

Rey reaches over and wraps an arm around your shoulders. “Don’t beat yourself up for what did or didn’t happen. Things will sort themselves out. I trust that. And you should trust that too.”

You give her a small smile. “I’m _really_ glad I didn’t beat you back to Ajan Kloss. What would I have done if I arrived here and needed advice and you weren’t here to give it?”

She laughs a little at that. “I think you probably would have found Rose instead.”

“Speaking of Rose, you wouldn’t happen to know where she is, would you?”

Rey nods. “Last time I saw her she was talking to Beaumont by Leia’s ship. Why?”

“Us girls, we need to stick together.”

That was more important now than ever.

* * *

Armitage, as soon as he steps inside your quarters, lets out a long breath of air and buries his head in his hands. He’s ruined everything. He can’t even look at you properly anymore, and any life he felt he was starting to form here on Ajan Kloss may as well be a mere memory in his mind.

He allows himself to wonder, briefly, how different things could be if you hadn’t been interrupted that night. Or if you’d still be mad at him – because you had to be. You had to be ashamed of his actions, of his lapse in judgment. He’d never felt a feeling quite like the one he felt with you that night, and he’d been silly enough to actually try and follow it. He hadn’t known not to.

He sighs and looks down at his makeshift bed, still on the floor of his quarters, and then moves to dismantle it. He can’t sleep here anymore. He’ll find alternate quarters. But he _won’t_ put you through dealing with his company any longer.

He ensures that he picks up his old First Order uniform, and then he leaves your quarters, blankets and pillow in hand, too, intending to find a new place to sleep. A place where he could try his best to move on.

* * *

You see Armitage again for the first time all day at dinner that night. He’s sitting alone, eating at the very opposite end of the tables that have been set up for you all, and you’re sitting with Rey and Rose. You’ve never wanted anything more than to walk over and sit with him.

But he probably wouldn’t be very happy with that if you did.

Rose notices you staring. “You’re just torturing yourself, you know that? Why don’t you just go and try to talk to him if you’re just going to stare at him anyway? He can probably feel your eyes burning a hole in the side of his head.”

You tear your gaze away from Armitage and back to Rose. “No, I’m giving him space.”

“Then actually _give_ him the space and stop staring,” Rose hums. “I could really use your help tomorrow. We’re packing up a bunch of old files and taking them out to be properly archived. There are more there than we realised.”

It doesn’t take long for you to agree to help. Especially because you know it’ll help to get your mind off of Armitage, at least for a little while. And that’s what you need right now – Rose is right. You’re giving him space, and you need to follow through on that.

For the rest of dinner, you mostly play with your food rather than eat it. But you _are_ happy to be home, since Ajan Kloss seems to be more of a home than anywhere else, even Arkanis, nowadays. You’d managed to find a good thing on Arkanis in the locals that were willing to talk to you, despite being thrown out of the bar, but many of your good memories had been marred by the incident with Armitage.

You can’t blame yourself for wanting to get back into the swing of things on Ajan Kloss sooner rather than later.

But it’s an entire accident when you run into Armitage while taking your plate up to be emptied and washed. He’s standing right beside you and for a second, you don’t even realise it. Rey and Rose are staring at the both of you from afar, wondering if they should intervene, when Armitage suddenly speaks.

“I should tell you that I’ve removed my belongings from your quarters and moved them into my own,” he starts, and you feel like your heart is in your throat. “With people leaving, there are quite a few spare now. I should have moved out sooner.”

You hadn’t even thought about that. About Armitage sharing your quarters, and you do your best to ignore the sting of disappointment at his confession. “Right, well… if that’s what you want, I won’t argue.”

He nods. “It is what I want.”

You nearly flinch at the harshness in his voice. But something else pushes you to reply – even though nearly everything in you is telling you to just walk away before things get ugly. It might be the way he speaks with you now in such a dismissive way, or it might be something else entirely, but your idea of giving him space just… isn’t going to work if he’s going to act so strangely with you in the times you _do_ run into each other and find yourselves unable to help it.

“Listen, Armitage,” you turn to face him, and he meets your eyes for a second before turning to stare down at his feet. “I don’t know what happened on Arkanis. But I want you to know I’m not mad at you. I just– I’d really like it if we could be friends, or at least something similar to friends. I can’t take anymore heartbreak right now, not after losing Leia, not after Snap or any of the other pilots and friends I lost in that attack on Exegol.”

You hold out a hand towards him.

“What do you say? Friends?”

And he places his hand in yours.

* * *

Rose and Rey look at you strangely as you sit back down at their table.

“I’m guessing you saw all of that?” You ask, with a small smile.

“Uh, _yes,_ ” Rose nods. She turns and glances at where Armitage is still standing, emptying off his plate where you’d left him. She shakes her head, slightly amused, and then turns back around to look at you. “You like him.”

You furrow your eyebrows. “Of course I like him. We’re friends, despite everything that didn’t happen on Arkanis. We _just_ agreed to be friends again. I like _you_ and you’re my friends.”

Rose and Rey share a small look, and they slowly start to smile.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux finds himself strangely fascinated by you, a Resistance fighter and pilot, even though he knows he shouldn’t. You know that there’s much more to him than you see on the surface.
> 
> This work contains spoilers from The Rise of Skywalker. It's advised you don't read if you haven't seen the film!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m just going to warn you... this is a complete and total rollercoaster of a chapter, and it went through a lot of changes when I was planning it, but it’s actually turned out to be one of my favourite parts so far, and I hope it’ll make a few of you who just want these two to get the heck on with things a little happy. But also, in advance, I’ll apologise... for what, I’ll let you find out... Happy Reading!

He knows that this is a bad idea.

He knows that this is a _very_ bad idea.

But still, Armitage stares down at the piece of paper in front of him, the pen in his hand, and sighs. And then he begins to write. He’s been awake half the night wondering if putting his thoughts down on paper might help. Then he’d thought that a letter might help – a letter he never sends. A letter that nobody but him ever reads.

Because he _can’t_ give a letter like this to a friend. And that is, first and foremost, what you are to him now – a friend. He’d made a very, _very_ big mistake in taking your hand a week ago. How could he be friends with you when every time he looked at you he either felt shame or… _or_ a feeling he couldn’t quite identify yet. Or perhaps it was a feeling he’d rather _not_ identify.

So far, you were both doing a rather good job at ignoring the night on Arkanis completely – the night that had changed so much of the both of you, though it wasn’t as easy as originally anticipated. Every time _you_ looked at Armitage, you kept wondering about the _what if._ And every time Armitage looked at you, he thought about what you’d said the other night – that you weren’t mad. And if you weren’t mad… then what were you? Grateful? Disappointed? Confused?

He constantly felt a mix of all three.

And _friends._ Friends wasn’t as easy as he thought it was going to be either (and he had stayed up half the night after your conversation repeatedly referring to himself as an absolute _idiot_ in the safety of his own quarters.) He still felt like one at least four times a day – though sometimes five on the bad days.

The words flow from his mind faster than anything he’s ever written before, and while Armitage has always been a rather eloquent young man, this letter is likely anything but. It’s everything in his brain falling out onto paper in a haphazard, messy kind of way. Gone are the things he’d been taught as a child – to think about his words. To be proper, and specific, and _careful._ Tread _carefully,_ Armitage. But not _too carefully._ The words on the page are anything but careful.

They’re a culmination of the calamity of his feelings.

* * *

He sees you for the first time since writing the letter at breakfast. You’re sitting with Rey and Rose, like you have been a lot lately, and when you spot him, you beckon him over and he can’t refuse.

Rey and Rose share a small smile as he takes a seat beside you with his breakfast.

You nudge him gently with your elbow. “I feel like I haven’t seen you lately.”

Yes, just the way he’d intended. For if he subtly distanced himself, it wouldn’t hurt as much to look at you. To think about you. To just be in your presence. He hadn’t been as subtle as he’d thought he was being, clearly.

“I suppose we’re all just a little busy lately.”

“How are your new quarters treating you?”

He shrugs a shoulder. “Well, I suppose I miss you.”

You pause, your fork half way to your mouth.

“I mean– I miss your quarters. They were much better looked after than whoever had mine before I did,” he clears his throat, and then takes a _very_ long drink of water.

He swears internally. _I suppose I miss you._ Subtlety was _not_ his friend.

Rey and Rose look like they’re going to burst sat across from him. He catches their eyes and nearly chokes on his drink, and then looks back down at you. He’s surprised to find you smiling.

“You can move back in any time you want to. We could get you a real bed.”

Armitage slowly shakes his head. “Didn’t we agree on giving each other space?”

He watches as you glance over at Rey and Rose, and then as you nod. You hadn’t discussed much from that night on Arkanis, but space was what you’d agreed on. Space and _friendship._ So that you could set your minds right before trying to set things back to as normal as they could possibly be.

“No, you’re right,” you hum. “Space. Well… on the _topic_ of space, I’m thinking that I might head out to Arkanis again in the next week or two. There ought to be so many people we missed and didn’t get to talk to. And I’d like to explore the planet a little more, too. Visit more places I used to visit as a child.”

Armitage raises his eyebrows. “You? Just on your own?”

He’s suddenly a little protective. He knows why.

“Yes, unless you’d like to tag along?”

You expect a firm and solid _no._ But he surprises you when he says that he’ll think about it.

* * *

“Would you mind if I just grabbed you for a second?” Poe interrupts you with a sheepish smile while you’re in the middle of a conversation with Rose and Rey.

You look up away from the screen in front of you where you’d been tracking several routes of Resistance members travelling to various planets to offer assistance and nod. Poe has tried to talk to you several times over the past week, but you’ve shut him down more than once. After everything with Armitage, you needed your space – both from Armitage himself, despite your newfound friendship, _and_ from Poe.

The space doesn’t seem to be treating Poe as well as it’s treated you.

Rose and Rey watch with narrowed eyes as you and Poe walk away together.

You’re unaware of Armitage watching you from a distance where he sits with Beaumont, creating a detailed list of the contacts you’d brought back from Arkanis.

“What’s up?” You ask as he stops by his desk and sits down.

He motions for you to take the seat opposite him, and you do. The office is a makeshift one that he and Finn had created, and with Finn off with Chewie offering assistance to a planet like you’d done with Arkanis, Poe is left in charge of it all himself, though he’s more than capable. You still believe that.

Poe takes a breath. “I think I owe you an apology.”

“You think or you know?”

“I _know,”_ he corrects. “You were right. I did feel threatened by Armitage. And I suppose I was a little naive in deciding to judge him so quickly. Armitage – he’s never given me any reason not to trust him. Other than when you got back from Arkanis, but things seem to be better between you now, even though I never got an explanation.”

You try not to smile. “Things are better. We’re friends. Is that okay with you?”

Poe narrows his eyes. “I’ll give you a reluctant _yes_ on that.”

“I don’t owe you anything, Poe. I don’t owe you an explanation as to why I’ve spent so much time getting him settled, nor an explanation as to why I care for him like I do, nor one as to why I consider him a friend. But I’m going to give you _one_ explanation, and then you and I are going to go back to being normal again. And you’re going to _try_ and not judge Armitage as much as you have been. I don’t think you’re going to become best friends any time soon… but just try and tolerate him, for my sake.”

He nods, and allows you to begin your explanation.

“You asked if something happened on Arkanis. And _yes,_ something did.” Poe tenses up and you raise your eyebrows at him. “It’s nothing like what you think. Because like I said, we’re friends. I’m friends with him. I still care for him. But I think that’s where it all came from – what happened on Arkanis was born of that friendship, that care, that… admiration, I suppose,” you shrug. “He tried to kiss me on Arkanis. But someone – a local who wanted to talk – interrupted us. And when I asked him about it, he told me that it was a mistake, that he was ashamed, that it was a lapse in his judgment.”

Poe stares at you, a little lost for words. He fumbles for a second in an attempt to find the words, and when he finally does, he’s still confused. “But you’re _friends_?”

You nod. “We’re moving past it. We– well, we haven’t actually _talked_ about moving past it. I think it’s just one of those unspoken things. Whatever didn’t happen on Arkanis, I don’t want it to get in the way of our friendship, and I don’t think that Armitage wants that too. We’re on the same page. I think… I hope.”

He shakes his head again, and then laughs a little. ”You– you’re an _incredible_ pilot, You’re intelligent, you’re confident, you’re a damn good leader. But sometimes… sometimes you really, _really_ miss the obvious things in life. You know that?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Poe waves a hand. “I’m afraid this isn’t something I can tell you… I think it’s just something you’re going to have to figure out on your own. But when you do… you’ll know exactly what I mean.”

* * *

Armitage watches with furrowed eyebrows as you finish your conversation with Poe and then promptly stand up and pull him into a hug. What you talked about, he doesn’t know – he’s too far away to have heard anything, and he’s not the type of man to eavesdrop on a private conversation (anymore, anyway) but he’s intrigued and slightly… _no,_ absolutely not. Is that _jealousy?_ It can’t be. It _isn’t._ He’s adamant.

He remembers how you’d come to the ship the night before you left for Arkanis and you looked like you’d been in tears. You’d mentioned that Poe was being _overbearing._ You’d hoped that the distance would do you some good… and he supposes it did. He can’t be jealous of a friendship rebuilding itself. And he’s _not_ a jealous person.

He watches you and Poe hugging again, and slightly smiles – it’s more of an attempt to curb his jealously than anything else.

Beaumont catches on rather quickly. “What are you smiling at, buddy?”

 _Buddy._ He frowns, tears his eyes away from you. “Nothing that need concern you.”

His words seem to disappoint Beaumont, and as soon as he’s back to work, Armitage finds you again. Rey and Rose have joined you – as well as the golden droid he’d learnt to refer to as Threepio and the small droid, BB-8.

You’re laughing at something, and Poe has an arm around your shoulders.

And suddenly, his happy mood begins to plummet.

He’s not sure what it is that’s come over him – perhaps it’s that feeling from before that was absolutely _not_ jealousy. But it’s like the pieces of the puzzle have come together – and he sees how your life would look without him in it. He’d been the reason behind your fight with Poe. He knows that now. The reason behind your unhappiness after returning to Ajan Kloss from Arkanis. Poe had been happy to find him his own quarters. He knew why, now.

He worried about your safety with Armitage being so close.

You’d said that you weren’t mad at him, and you’d been happy to be friends again. And despite his best attempts to be that for you… his letter, the one he’d written earlier that morning, went against everything that you’d asked him for.

Despite Beaumont’s questions, Armitage rises to his feet and leaves him alone. He’s quick as he walks to his own quarters and fumbles for the letter hidden underneath his pillow. He couldn’t bring himself to burn it that morning. It had been nearly therapeutic to write it and have it all on paper.

Armitage sits down on his bed and unfolds the paper. His eyes scan his own words, and the answer snaps into mind.

Reckless? Yes.

Split-second? Yes.

Wrong? Maybe.

He searches for a bag under his bed, and then begins to pack.

* * *

Armitage leaves his letter on your bed, attempts not to seem like he’s in a rush and _tries_ not to draw attention as he walks away from the main base and towards the TIE fighter that he’d given you months ago. There’s a small bag hanging over his shoulder, and his First Order clothes are neatly packed inside along with several other necessary items. Items he’ll need before he can find a home on a planet somewhere far, far away.

In the distance, he spots Rose, and he drops his gaze to the ground and tries to disguise himself in any way he can – though it’s hard, because he’s tall and his ginger hair isn’t easy to hide at all, and his plan fails. Rose smiles at him just as he looks up.

She– she _smiles_ at him.

“Where are you off to tonight, Armitage?” She asks, though it’s not accusatory. It’s simply conversational – curious in a way that’s not damaging to him or to his plan. And he’s smart enough to know how to deflect the real answer.

He shrugs a shoulder. “I’m just going for a bit of a walk before dinner.”

Rose, thankfully, doesn’t question it. If she sees the bag over his shoulder, she doesn’t mention it, and she tells him that she’ll see him at dinner and lets him go – and Armitage lets out a sigh of relief as she disappears behind him. His plan, still intact. His honour, not so much.

But still, he takes a left and begins to walk towards the TIE fighter. How different it will be to fly compared to an X-wing or the ship you’d used for Arkanis, he doesn’t know. But he’s leaving. He knows that much. He will find a way out. He will find a way out to let you live the life you _should_ have been living. The life that you would have been able to live if he hadn’t taken your hand on the Steadfast.

If he’d allowed himself to live in danger for as long as he had left.

He’d been the reason behind those awful looks you got on Arkanis. He’d been the reason behind getting thrown out of the bar. The reason you and Poe had fought and you had been brought to tears – though you didn’t admit it to him, he knew. And he couldn’t live with that on his conscience any longer. Being the reason behind your misfortune and the break down of your friendships.

He’d tried to be a friend to you. But his feelings, his feelings had begun to get in the way, and even as a boy who had grown up being told to push his feelings down, to not let them get the better of him, he had no idea how to take a firm handle of these particular ones and push them down. Because they aren’t sadness, they aren’t anger, they aren’t _his_ misfortune, and his father isn’t here to tell him to _man up_ and to _stop being such a weakling, Armitage_. These are something else entirely. Something else that he barely recognises, and something that terrifies him entirely.

Armitage pulls himself up into the cockpit of the TIE fighter and closes the door behind him. He knows the basics, even from what you hadn’t taught him, from watching others in the First Order for so many years, and as soon as he’s safely inside, he lets out a long and shaky breath.

He’s doing this. He’s really doing this.

And how strange it feels to be in a TIE fighter that had belonged to _you._

His hands find the controls, and he starts to switch some of them on, and then he pauses. The thought from moments earlier infiltrating his mind in ways he’d never anticipated it to – in ways he hadn’t _wanted_ it to.

He’d given _you_ this TIE fighter because he cared for your safety. It seemed a funny full circle for it now to be the one he was using to leave and ensure your safety. His hands fell away from the controls and he swore under his breath.

The letter… the letter sitting on your bed… you’d read it, and you’d come looking for him. He knew you well enough to ensure that there wouldn’t be any stopping you from coming after him after you read that letter. Even if you had no idea where in the galaxy he’d gone.

Armitage unstraps his seatbelt and climbs out of the TIE fighter without hesitation. And as soon as his feet hit the ground, he starts to hurry towards your quarters. The letter had only been there for half an hour, at most, and you’d been busy when he’d left it. He could scoop it up, take it and leave and you’d never be any the wiser.

Several pairs of eyes fall on him as he hurries past people towards your quarters, and his breath is heavy when he passes the door of his own room and turns the corner to see yours in the distance.

His breath catches in his throat and his feet stop as he sees it.

You’re standing in there. He can see you. You’ve left the door open… and the letter is in your hands. You’re reading it. _You’re reading the letter he’d never meant for you to read._ The letter he’d had second thoughts about… the letter he was coming to take. Armitage wants to run – run straight back to the TIE fighter and go as quickly as he can. But his feet carry him the opposite way until he’s standing in your doorway.

He feels sick to his stomach.

He’s too late. You’re reading his letter. And he can’t run away.

Silently, Armitage watches as you read the letter, unaware of his presence in your doorway. _Grateful_ that you have no idea he’s here. And even though part of him wishes that he’d burned the letter like he’d originally planned to… it’s too late. It’s too late for him to burn it. It’s too late for him to run. It’s too late for him to do anything but stand and wait.

As soon as you finish the letter, Armitage holds his breath. And you turn and make to hurry out the door. You look like you’re in shock when you see him standing there, tall, a little windswept, still out of breath a little from the run, and… unlike the letter had said, still here right in front of you.

He can’t bring himself to speak. He only smiles softly.

You hold up the letter and speak with shaky words. “Want to take a walk with me?”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux finds himself strangely fascinated by you, a Resistance fighter and pilot, even though he knows he shouldn’t. You know that there’s much more to him than you see on the surface.
> 
> This work contains spoilers from The Rise of Skywalker. It's advised you don't read if you haven't seen the film!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah, well… I’m a bit nervous about this part because I feel like there’s absolutely so much riding on it and I don’t want to disappoint anyone. This no doubt has to be the most anticipated part of the entire story at this point, and it feels weird that it’s all coming to an end so soon. Part Fifteen will be the final part, which means this is the penultimate part and also the part I have had the most fun writing (mostly – I nearly cried at one point, so that’s fun, right?) I’m hoping that this will live up to any and all expectations you have for what this part will be and that you truly and thoroughly enjoy it.

You don’t quite know why you’re holding Armitage’s hand, but he doesn’t seem to be too disappointed with the fact as you walk in silence away from your quarters and away from the main base of the Resistance to talk in complete and utter privacy. You’d grabbed his hand when you’d left the room – as a sort of way to keep him with you, you suppose. He’d said, in his letter, that he would leave if he felt he needed to.

And you really, really don’t want him to leave.

His letter is still held firmly in your other hand, and the words still swim around in your mind as the trees get thicker around you as you get further away. There’s a warm glow from the sun covering the leaves around you as the sun begins to set, and the fact that you’re both missing out on dinner doesn’t even cross your mind.

It had been the last thing you’d expected to find when heading back to your quarters to grab something before joining Rey, Poe and Rose for dinner. But you’d spotted the paper on your bed and had been too intrigued to ignore it. As soon as you’d started reading, you couldn’t stop yourself.

He’d been distant. You knew that he’d become distant. You’d just assumed it was his way of coming to terms with what happened on Arkanis. That, as you were slowly moving past it, he was too.

The letter said otherwise.

* * *

_I am starting to write this letter at a terrible hour of the morning, but considering I can’t sleep due to what this letter will likely contain, I’m trying not to worry so much about the hour of the morning that it is and, instead, worry most of all about the feelings that I have grown to have for you, and what they truly may mean._

_I cannot expect you to ever reciprocate my feelings, as I am much more than just a First order spy defected to the Resistance. I am the killer of civilisations, the destroyer of planets. I am the opposite of the man that your feelings should be reserved for, and I believe one day I will come to terms with that. But for now, I am content in living a life here on Ajan Kloss, swimming in your beautiful smiles, your effervescent kindness and contagious laughter. For as long as that may continue, I am content._

* * *

The sun has set a little further by the time you find a small clearing and stop walking. You let go of Armitage’s hand, trusting now that he won’t go at least until you’ve had this conversation, and look up at him.

He’s nervous. You can see the nerves on his face, in his eyes, and in the way he fidgets with his fingers and shifts from foot to foot. He has no reason to be, but you can’t blame him because he doesn’t know to feel otherwise.

The letter – you’d felt, as you were reading it, as though it wasn’t a letter you should be reading. But he had left it on your bed and that had to mean he wanted you to know what it contained. It had your name at the top of the page, and then _his_ words in a careful script below it. His words, _so many_ of his words. Words you couldn’t quite wrap your mind around, and ones you had a feeling he couldn’t either.

You hold up the letter.

Armitage sighs. “I didn’t mean for you to read that.” He began, refusing to meet your eyes as he spoke and, instead, focusing on the trees behind you. “I mean– I wanted you to, for a moment. But I was coming back to get it and take it with me when you found it. I was too late. And I do apologise for you having to read those words.”

You frown. “You were coming to _take it with you_?”

“I only left it in your quarters to begin with because I was doing as the letter said I might one day do – leave. But I then thought about how you’d follow me after you read it, and so I changed my mind. I didn’t want you to follow me.”

“And do you still plan on leaving?”

“I have a feeling you won’t let me.”

“Your feeling would be right.”

* * *

_And this life here on Ajan Kloss – how it is a life a man like me could ever come to deserve, I don’t know. What you were truly thinking when you offered me your hand on Steadfast, when you pleaded with me to come with you. When you told me that you didn’t want me to die. I’ve often tortured myself late at night thinking about what my life would have become if I hadn’t taken your hand. Would they have truly found out that I was the spy as you said they would? Would I even be alive right now?_

_I don’t know what I ever did in those months we met and exchanged information to gain such kindness, respect and trust from you. For you to save my life. From memory, those meetings were filled with you being charming and myself being an utter bore. I truly don’t know how you ever saw a side of me that made you trust me. I was a spy, yes – but you knew what I’d done. You knew the person I was underneath the title that ‘spy for the Resistance’ gave me. And for some reason, you still offered your hand._

_And I took it._

* * *

“Why did you leave me the letter in the first place, then? Why were you even going to leave? Things have been going well – haven’t they? We had breakfast this morning. We talked about our quarters,” you shake your head. “You’re confusing me. And I _know_ you’ve been trying to avoid me for the past week. Don’t think I don’t know that. That even after we agreed to be friends again, you’ve tried to spend as much time away from me as possible. Is this why?” You hold up the letter and begin to read a line from it. “‘I don’t know where I will go, but wherever I do go will ensure you a happier, safer life without me lurking in the background, trying to figure out what these feelings I have truly mean. I think I know what they mean now, at least a little.’”

Armitage slowly nods. He’s still fidgeting with his fingers – twisting a ring he has on around and around and around. You step towards him and take one of his hands in yours again. It’s the best you can do to try and squash his nerves.

“Is this what this is, Armitage? Is it–“

“Don’t say it. Please don’t say it.”

His eyes flutter closed, and he takes a long breath. “This is much harder for me than you think it is,” he starts. “I care for you. You _know_ that I care for you. But I have never cared for anybody but myself before, never truly. I have never felt the way I explained in that letter for anyone in my life. I _am_ terrified, and I am ashamed that I even left that letter on your bed for you to read in the first place. Because that letter… that letter is my heart and soul on paper. You– you know how I feel about you now. And it is up to you to do what you will with that information.”

* * *

_I’ve taken your hand twice now, both for different reasons, but things I fear I’ve come to regret in one way or another. Because how did I ever trick myself into believing that we could truly ever be friends after that night on Arkanis?_

_I saw the way you looked at me when I changed out of my First Order uniform and into the Resistance uniform after I got here for the first time. You looked at me like you’d never looked at me before – and I think that might have been the moment when things started to go wrong._

_Or, at least, the moment I knew things were changing._

_Because I’d washed the gel out of my hair, and I had donned the brown and green of the Resistance, and it was the first time you looked at me as an equal. As anyone looked at me as an equal. You’d spent those months on the Steadfast seeing me as General Hux – and this was the first time I was just Armitage._

_You stepped forward and you fixed my shirt when I’d buttoned it all the way up. That was the moment. Because nobody had ever been that close to me before and done something so… mundane. My father had been that close to me as a child and he had never done something so kind. I nearly flinched away when you did it. Because for a moment, I’d feared something else._

_I don’t fear that anymore – not from you, anyway._

* * *

Your hand squeezes Armitage’s.

“I’m not ashamed to have read it. I’m _glad_ that you left it there for me to read. You and me – we’re on the same page about so many things, so many things that you don’t even realise. We– we’ve been tip-toeing around each other for the past week, Armitage. We don’t need to do that anymore. Not now that I’ve read this, not now that you know I have. You can be honest with me. You’ve _always_ been honest with me.”

For the first time, Armitage meets your eyes. You look different than he’d expected you to look. You don’t look angry with him, you don’t look upset. You don’t look heartbroken at the words he’d written. You don’t look like you’re going to break his heart. But then again – he doesn’t know what that even would look like.

All he has is hope.

“You read the words. Do you need to hear me say them?”

You shake your head. “What I want is clarification, Armitage. For you to tell me truly what you felt that night on Arkanis when we were interrupted. You talked about it in here… but I have a feeling there’s more you didn’t write. Would I be right?”

* * *

_You have been the one person to trust me and tell others to trust me this entire time. I would not be here without you. I would be dead, or worse. And once upon a time, I would have believed that to be a better thing for me. That after all I’d done, after who I’d been raised to be, there was no better ending._

_You are what convinced me otherwise._

_You are the first person to have ever properly held my hand. The first person to have hugged me. To have hugged me_ twice. _You are a culmination of many of my firsts – at least the humane firsts. The firsts that I should have experienced before, but ones that I never had until I met you. Perhaps ones I still wouldn’t have if I hadn’t met you._

_The first time I ever got to visit my home planet and create memories of it was with you. And while those memories are not, perhaps, the memories I would have wanted to create on Arkanis… they are still the only memories I have of a version of home._

_When I said to you that we might go to Arkanis together one day, when we were on Kef Bir and you were still recovering from your injury (the blaster shot that may as well have been my fault too – I should have helped you escape while I had the chance), I didn’t expect that we would actually end up there so soon. And when we did touch down, I was filled with hope of what may happen there. Of what we would achieve._

_And then we were thrown out of that bar, and I felt more shame than I have ever felt in my life. I don’t like to compare these things, but the shame I felt when Starkiller Base was destroyed by you and your people… it doesn’t come close to the shame I felt that day on Arkanis. When people in that bar were looking at you just as badly as they looked at me. And I could never want that for you. I could never want you to be the subject of getting looks like I am used to getting._

_But that night…_

* * *

Armitage sighs deeply, and then nods. “You would be.”

* * *

_That night… I didn’t know what I was thinking until I thought about it later. That’s when I realised I did know what I was doing. It wasn’t a mistake. It wasn’t a lapse of judgment. It was a moment borne of those feelings I mentioned before._

_And that night, I thought you wanted me to. The reason I pushed you away the next day was because I realised you didn’t want me to. And ever since that day, things have gotten more and more difficult._

_I truly believe that I am feeling something close to love for the first time in my life._

_I have never loved anyone, nor have I ever felt love in return. But if this is what it feels like… is it meant to be this confusing? Is it meant to be this soul consuming? This painful?_

_If, one day, things get to become all too much, I will burn this letter and leave. I don’t know where I will go, but wherever I do go will ensure you a happier, safer life without me lurking in the background, trying to figure out what these feelings I have truly mean. I think I know what they mean now, at least a little._

_They really do terrify me._

_And once before, I did say to you that finding a planet that had never heard of the First Order and making a home there for myself might be best for me. I stand by that. I stand by the fact that you will live a happier life without having to worry about me._

_I do truly encourage your happiness. And I always will._

_Yours faithfully and forever,_

_Armitage._

* * *

Armitage pulls his hand out of yours and turns around. He makes to walk away, but doesn’t go far – only ends up standing a few steps away from you, staring out at the setting sun in the distance, which is rapidly getting lower and lower in the sky, and soon enough it will be dark.

If it’s dark, you won’t be able to see the shame on his face.

You wait patiently behind him, your arms crossed, and watch him. You’ve never tried to rush him in anything – and you’re not going to start rushing him now. Not when you can see how hard this is for him – for the both of you.

 _Love,_ you’d never expected that. You’d never expected him to feel that for _you._

He clears his throat, and then speaks without looking at you.

“I knew what I was thinking that night we were interrupted on Arkanis,” he began. “I don’t think I entirely knew what I was doing or why I was doing it… but I _was_ thinking straight. If we weren’t interrupted, I was– I was going to kiss you.”

You take a step towards him. “I know.” You pause. “I wanted you to.”

 _That_ makes him spin back around, and the look on his face is nothing but pure and utter shock. His mouth is slightly open in his shock and his eyebrows are furrowed.

“You– _what?”_

You take another step towards him. “I wanted you to kiss me. And then you told me it was a mistake, a lapse in your judgment, and I assumed that it had just been a spur of the moment thing. That you hadn’t meant it. That you regretted even trying.”

Armitage fumbles for words. He shakes his head. _Disbelief_ is all he feels. “Why– why didn’t you say so?”

“Because when I _tried_ to talk to you about it, you went and got yourself into a mood with me, and every time I tried to talk to you after you looked at me like I was… like I was the last person you wanted to see!”

In your anger, you’ve stepped even closer to him, and you’re standing right in front of him and staring up at him before you realise. Armitage had tried to distance himself from you for this very reason – if he got too close…

Silence falls over the both of you.

He’s looking at you… and you’re looking at him, and that same something that had travelled between you both in Arkanis fizzles again.

His voice is quiet, barely even audible, yet clearly filled with nerves, when he speaks. “Do you still want me to kiss you?”

“Yes.” There’s no hesitance in you.

“Can I?”

You’re smiling. “Yes.”

And this time, Armitage starts to lean in a little confidently than before. Because nobody can interrupt you here. Because after a week of _wanting_ to go back to that night on Arkanis, finally he’s here again. He’s here again. And you’re here in front of him, and it’s _you._

For him, everything is _you._

Your arms are loosely wrapped around his neck and the letter that had brought all of this on is still held securely in one of your hands. And you’re closer to him than anyone ever has been before, until _finally… finally…_

His lips touch yours.

Months of wanting and not realising. Days of wishing. Hours of hoping.

And he’s kissing you. You’re kissing him back.

He’s sharing another first with you. He has a feeling it won’t be the last.

 _His first kiss. And it’s_ you.

When you pull away, you don’t go far. Armitage’s arms are wrapped around you, holding you close, and he’s grinning more than he’s ever done before. He’s never smiled like this. He’s never been this– this _happy._ He’s never felt this loved.

He’d really thought you could never feel the way he felt.

You’ve proven him wrong once again.

“This is going to be strange for a little while, isn’t it?” You breathe, and then laugh.

“I imagine so.”

* * *

When you both begin the walk back to the base, your hand finds Armitage’s once again. He smiles as he looks down at it. He finds he’s getting used to the sensation.

“I’m only holding it so you don’t try and run off again,” you warn with a smile.

Armitage snorts. “Have fun trying to get rid of me now.”

“Oh, but why would I _ever_ want to do that? You’re stuck with me now.”

He smiles. “I could think of worse places to be.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux finds himself strangely fascinated by you, a Resistance fighter and pilot, even though he knows he shouldn’t. You know that there’s much more to him than you see on the surface.
> 
> This work contains spoilers from The Rise of Skywalker. It's advised you don't read if you haven't seen the film!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have it: the final part of Rebel! I’m sort of screaming internally (and a little externally) right now as I’m writing this, about to hit the post button and have this out for the world to see. But I truly hope this final part does this fic justice for you all and I had such a blast writing it. Thank you for being so patient in waiting for this final part. It’s a month tomorrow since I started writing this fic so to be finishing it now is a really nice full circle. Thank you so very much to everyone who’s read this fic, whether one part or all of them, over the past month. The love I’ve received from this fic still surprises me every day and I am so grateful for it all. You really are all the best readers out there and I appreciate you all so very much. I hope you enjoy this final part just as you did the others, and thank you for reading, leaving your kudos, bookmarking, commenting and loving this story!

It’s a little bit of a rocky landing thanks to the mild wind and steady drizzle, but both you and Armitage are grateful for the feeling of the ground under your feet when you finally set the ship down on Arkanis.

You knew that the others had thought it a little silly, the both of you packing up your things and jetting back off to Arkanis only a week and a half after leaving in the first place. But they had, at least, been happy for you. They’d understood that, while Ajan Kloss had been home for a while, it was time for the both of you to stretch your legs a little. That even though you’d soon be making a sort of home for yourselves on Arkanis, it wasn’t _home_ either, because somehow, you’d managed to find a home with each other.

It’s kind of funny to the both of you – the ex First Order General and the Resistance pilot making a home with one another. All born of a chance meeting and your offer of a hand.

When you’d both walked out of the forest hand in hand, you’d expected everyone’s jaws to drop, but instead they’d fixed you with looks of amusement and understanding. Poe had grinned, had said “I knew it all along” and Rey and Rose had hugged _both_ of you and said, with breaths of relief, “ _Finally!”._ Finn had returned from his travels just in time to see you both, and had to have Poe explain what he’d missed, though he had soon wrapped you in a hug and given Armitage a firm handshake afterwards. It had been overwhelming, and slightly amusing at times, but Armitage had taken comfort in having you by his side.

In his _stupidity,_ he didn’t.

The fact that he had nearly left without a proper goodbye haunted him daily, though he was coming to terms with it as the days went by. Because you knew things about himself that he’d never intended you to know now, and instead of pushing you apart as he’d expected it to, it had brought you closer. It had prompted the realisation between the both of you that what happened on Arkanis was no accident. That the feelings you had were, in no way, only friendship. They were more – they were _so much_ more.

They were strange in the best way.

Armitage had moved back into your quarters that night, though he’d refused to sleep on the floor again (something about _sleeping on a bed for a week being much more comfortable_ ) and you’d both worked it out so that you could fit another small bed inside your small enough already quarters. And when you’d fallen asleep, Armitage had watched you for a minute with a smile on his face.

The thought of how lonely he would feel had he left the letter and taken the TIE fighter away and to wherever the galaxy led him filled him up and drained him until he finally fell asleep himself. And he woke the next morning to your smile and truly doubted there had ever been a more joyful moment in his entire life – though perhaps he was wrong because the moment the day before when he had been able to share his first kiss with you slightly won that battle.

You’d taken his hand again as you’d walked to breakfast. Had _joked_ about him running away, and he’d laughed. He’d actually laughed with you and meant it. Gone were the days of the rules and regulation of the First Order. That life was a fleeting memory now, and here were the days when Armitage finally started to feel as if he belonged somewhere and was genuinely _wanted_ for the first time in his life.

 _He_ had been the one, two days later, to suggest Arkanis, despite the fact that Ajan Kloss was a comfortable base for him. He’d seen you itching to go back. He’d seen the look on your face when it was time to leave last time – and while some of that may have been because of his sour attitude, he knew that much of it was because you didn’t want to go. But unlike last time, he wanted to help the people there, even if they weren’t willing to accept his help. He’d thought about it in depth and realised that he had help to give. He had advice to share. He told himself several times a day that he was no longer going to allow himself to think of himself as a hindrance.He’d never thought he had help to give, but he was wrong.

You’d seemed confused when he first mentioned it, but he’d soon explained his reason, and you’d grown to understand. But with Ajan Kloss starting to feel like a proper base again, and now with Finn being back and everything starting to fall into a comfortable rhythm, you were still uneasy about the idea.

Armitage had seen that. He’d paused, looked around Ajan Kloss, then met your eyes again and spoke with utter confidence that “I truly believe that the only home I know is you.” That it didn’t matter which planet he was on as long as you were on that planet alongside him.

Then your plans had been set in motion.

Several days later, you’d been hugging everyone goodbye – or rather, see you later, but not _too_ much later. Poe had been surprisingly happy to let you go. He’d wrapped you in a bear hug, pressed a kiss to your cheek and told you to be safe. And then he’d wrapped Armitage, much to his surprise, in a similar hug and told him to stay safe too.

It had sent Armitage into a spin of shock that he could barely knock himself out of until ten minutes into the flight to Arkanis. He’d turned to you with a soft laugh and said “Did you see him hug me?” to which you’d replied with a “No, I must have missed it. Tell me about it” and he’d launched into the story with joyful detail. You smiled the whole way through.

* * *

By the time the two of you settle the ship on Arkanis and venture out into the city, your hands entwined, the rain has stopped entirely and you can’t help but smile as you see a peep of sun through a passing cloud above the city. For a planet that is nearly constantly covered in rain, the sun is a rare but welcome sight.

You squeeze Armitage’s hand. “I think that’s a sign that we’re meant to be here.”

“If you say anything along the lines of _our presence_ bringing the sun to the always rainy Arkanis, I may just walk back to the ship and fly back to Ajan Kloss right this moment,” he hums, though he smiles a little as he says it.

“Nuh-uh, not _our_ presence,” you shake your head. “Just yours.”

He playfully rolls his eyes as you finally set foot in the city. Markets similar to the ones you and Armitage had attended on the day he had become offended by a local and wandered off – the day after the almost kiss – are in full swing despite the rain that had been falling only minutes earlier.

The mere memory of that day forces you to pull him to a stop, lean up and peck his lips.

It’s impossible for him _not_ to smile after that, and he gives your hand a squeeze in return just before you flash him a grin and then start to pull him in the direction of a particularly interesting stall run by a woman with _very_ purple skin.

Moments later, you’re both holding some sort of breakfast pastry and sitting down on a slightly wet seat, watching the morning in Arkanis stumble by. It feels strange to be back here, he notices, as he eats his pastry. The last time he’d been here, he’d felt unwanted. Unworthy of being on this planet despite it being the place he’d lived and had been born. He’d had no connection to the planet whatsoever, but somehow that connection had become you.

There were a lot of things that had been you and only you.

His mind was still spinning from the kiss back on Ajan Kloss – and the many kisses afterwards. You’d predicted the future in saying it would be strange, and it was, because you’d first and foremost forged a friendship before diving into uncharted territory with feelings that certainly weren’t platonic. But Armitage had been surprised by how quickly he’d settled into a sort of pattern. Certain things still confused him, still made him feel funny inside, made his stomach do uncomfortable flips, but other things brought butterflies and feelings of joy that he had never experienced in any of his time in the First Order.

He hadn’t realised how much life he was missing out on.

Had he stayed, he would be dead. He wouldn’t be sitting on Arkanis, with you by his side, eating a surprisingly tasty pastry, watching the world go by in front of his eyes. Watching the galaxy start anew – and he was a part of it. He was part of the reason they were even allowed that luxury. He tried not to let that get to his head.

It was easier now than he thought it would be.

General Hux would have allowed it. Armitage Hux was not as lenient.

“So,” he spoke after swallowing a mouthful, “what’s our plan of action?”

“I was thinking we start slow. We’ve got plenty of time. We’re not on a schedule like we were last time we were here. We can spend as much time here as we want to. And I don’t know about you, but I am _not_ sleeping on that ship for more than a night. It shouldn’t be too difficult to find a place to put us up for a while. I made some friends last time. If we find them, maybe they could point us in the right direction.”

Armitage chuckled. It _had_ been a rather uncomfortable few nights. “That sounds like a good plan,” he agreed. “You’re glad to be here? You think my idea was a good one? You didn’t seem _too_ thrilled when I first suggested it.”

You meet his eyes. “I’m glad to be here. You just surprised me. After what happened, I assumed you’d want to stay away a little longer. But I’m glad we’re here, I am. You said you wanted to help. And I know you _can_ help, so I’m here to let you. We’re going to help the people here that need it, and I’m also thrilled that it’s just going to be you and me for a little while.”

“What, you didn’t like Rose, Rey, Poe and Finn peeking over our shoulders?”

“That wasn’t one of my favourite things about announcing our relationship, no.”

He pauses, then gives a small laugh of disbelief.

“What is it?”

“I’d never thought of it like that– I used to hear gossip all the time when I was a General, about people getting into relationships, officers and other lower ranks, and thought it was all just completely silly. And now _I_ am one of those people who has found themself in one of them,” he shakes his head, but he’s smiling. “There was never anybody in the First Order that caught my eye, and I was never looking. I had more important things to worry about. But I suppose the Resistance was always calling to me in that aspect.”

You lean into his side a little. “I didn’t expect you to be a man who believes in fate.”

“Not fate,” he says. “I don’t think it’s fate. But it’s just… right. It feels right. It wouldn’t have felt right before now. It wasn’t like when I saw you for the first time that I _knew_ you were the one. I just noticed your dirty boots and, well, how happy you looked. I think I envied you in some way, though I didn’t realise it back then.” He pauses once more. “I’m not used to things feeling like they’re falling into place.”

“It won’t feel like that forever,” you pipe up. “I don’t mean to burst your bubble, but…”

Armitage snorts, and then surprises you by wrapping an arm around you.

“ _But_ let’s enjoy it while it lasts.”

* * *

The day passes in a whirlwind of quickly shared kisses and laughter.

Neither of you make an awful lot of progress in the aspect of _helping_ people, and for most of the day you wander the markets, eat too much food and embrace the surprising sun of Arkanis – a nice surprise considering Ajan Kloss had been blanketed in a near constant cover of humid and uncomfortable rain all week.

Armitage’s hand nearly never leaves your own.

He’s found that holding your hand is one of his favourite things to do. It almost acts as an anchor, to keep his wandering mind grounded in reality. And it reminds him that he is alive, and you are alive beside him.

You wander the streets and the alleys for hours and take the time to explore the city you’d never really gotten to explore last time you were here. It feels like months ago, but in reality it was only a few weeks ago. A few weeks ago when you were both entirely different people, and when Armitage couldn’t kiss you whenever he wanted.

Now, he could. He would lie if he said he wasn’t smug about the fact.

The sky is starting to darken in shades bright pinks and muted purples when you both make your way back up to the ship – you’d forgotten all about getting accommodation in the city and had decided to spend _one_ night on the ship, for the sake of old times, and head down again to find a place in the city the next morning.

It feels like deja vu for you both to be sat back on the ramp of the ship, watching the sunset this time, without the same awkwardness surrounding you as it had last time you were in this position. It hadn’t started off that way, but it had ended that way. With Armitage realising the extent of his feelings, and now he knows them inside and out – or so he thinks he does.

And his day in general… he revels in the fact that it’s a better day than he’d had last time. A day without being kicked out of a bar and landing in a puddle. A day without sharing in your heartbreaking past. A day without being ashamed of his presence impacting badly on you. And instead, a day full of happiness and laughter and a feeling he’d expected he’d never feel again when he was here last.

Nobody here, at least nobody that he had noticed, had looked at him the same way that they had looked at him last time. He smiled at the thought.

“It seems what you said last time was true,” he began quietly. “Soon enough, things will change, and the First Order will just be a bad memory. And I’ll be free to live the life I want to without fear of others judging me for it.” He looks down at you sat beside him. “Would it be wrong of me to thank you for that today?”

“I think you only have yourself to thank, Armitage,” you nudge him gently. “I might have helped a little bit… but today, that was all you. And it was _very_ nice to see that side of you. You said last time you were here that you didn’t think you’d ever be able to make a home for yourself on Arkanis. What do you say now?”

“If Arkanis were to have me, I think I’d find it a rather agreeable place to live. So long as you are with me, of course. I could never live here alone.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Is that you saying you want to stay here?”

He shrugs a shoulder. “I think we have a little more work to do before we find a place to call home – whether it’s here or Ajan Kloss or… _Jakku_? No, not Jakku,” he shudders. “But wherever you are.”

You smile at the thought as you look out at the sunset. “I never thought I’d be back here with you.”

“No?”

“No. I thought you’d be too mad at the memory to ever come back.”

“Little did you know.”

“Little did I know.”

You look up and meet his eyes again to find him already looking at you.

Armitage smiles softly, his eyes full of adoration and _love_ and every good thing he’s ever seen. “I think I’ll get right to the point this time, like I should have done the first time,” he hums, and leans towards you. “May I kiss you?”

You scrunch up your nose. “Ehhh– I hate to tell you this, but… maybe not?”

He fixes you with a glare, and it’s impossible for you to stop smiling at the look on his face. And then his lips are on yours again, and it’s just like how that day should have gone – how much time and drama and energy it would have saved you both… but neither of you would have it another way.

And as the sun sets, nobody disturbs either of you, neither of you hesitate to take comfort in each others embrace, and both of you fall happily into the blissful promise of forever.


	16. Epilogue - A Field of Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three months after the end of Rebel, you and Armitage spend a blissful afternoon together in a field of flowers on a surprisingly sunny Arkanis day, bringing to light things you’ve been wondering about for months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE! As a little gift for Star Wars Day – May the Fourth be with you all! – I piped out this little baby this afternoon. Basically, for those of you who read and loved Rebel a few months ago... here’s a sneaky sort of one shot/epilogue, set three months after the final chapter! I had so much fun writing this and revisiting these two. I truly hope you enjoy it and that you’re all having a wonderful day celebrating Star Wars. May 4th is basically over here in Australia but I rewatched A New Hope this afternoon and my love for Star Wars is stronger than ever. I hope, in these crazy, rocky times, this little piece of writing will bring some sunlight to your days!
> 
> I wasn't sure if I was gonna post this over here on Ao3 and was gonna post it solely on tumblr, but there are so many of you who read this fic strictly on Ao3 and it didn't seem fair to you guys to miss out on this little bonus chapter, especially since I still get emails nearly on a daily basis of someone leaving a kudo. So, here's an unofficial Chapter 16, or an epilogue. I truly hope you enjoy!

Armitage is smiling. That’s the first thing you see as you round the bend and come upon a large field filled with white and yellow flowers. He kneels in the middle of it, the sun beaming down upon him and making his red hair look even brighter than usual. The rain had subsided for the morning and the flowers in the field that were usually weighed down with rain and surrounded by mud are thriving in the warmth the sun provides.

What really stands out, though, is the small village child running circles around him.

The boy’s mother stands beside you, a smile on her own face as she watches her son enjoying his time in the sun. Arkanis rarely ever had days without rain, and when it did, no one remained in their homes at all. You’d taken to going on a walk with her, a woman who’d become your friend over the last three months since you’d made Arkanis a kind of home, and Armitage had insisted he’d be okay to take care of her son while you walked.

She turns to you as she sees them playing. “I mean no offence when I say I doubted him before,” she speaks. “But he certainly seems to have proven himself. I’ve never seen Rhys so happy around a man who isn’t his father.”

You watch as the boy stops running in circles, clearly dizzy, but despite the dizziness, proceeds to leap right into Armitage’s arms. The force knocks Armitage, laughing, back into the flowers behind him.

While rare, and though you had heard his laughter before, it still ran through you with a beam of shock every time you witnessed it and every time you swore you fell a little bit more in love with him.

Leaving the First Order, taking your hand, had done him more good than either of you had imagined.

The boy’s mother looks back towards them. “Have you thought about children?”

Briefly, you scrunch up your nose. The cursed question, it seemed. You _had,_ though. Both of you had had versions of that conversation, though they had ended at the exact same point every time, and you weren’t mad about it. Armitage was honestly terrified of becoming a father out of fear of unwittingly becoming like his own. He’d promised that if the time ever came, he would try his best not to be like his father, and he’d made sure you knew that. But then he’d admitted a worse fear – the fear that in some distant part of the universe, an inkling of the First Order remained. One that would, when your child grew up, reemerge. That it would do just what _his_ First Order did. Take children from their parents and force them into being stormtroopers, or worse.

It had been hard for him to admit that fear, and you’d seen that as he said it. While you preferred not to think about possibilities like that, you understood his fear. And so you’d come to a simple conclusion: maybe. Maybe one day. But if that one day never came, that would be okay too. And both of you were entirely okay with that one day not being today or tomorrow or the next day.

Today, tomorrow and the next day were reserved for the both of you and you alone. 

Still, the sight of Armitage playing with Rhys in the field thrills you immensely, and not just because of how lovely it is to see him with a child he clearly cares for, but also because of how happy it makes him.

He’d been filled with more happiness than you’d ever seen over the past few months on Arkanis, and you were grateful for that. You knew he’d lived a life with very little joy before he took your hand, and so he took extra pleasure in the little joys that seemed to follow him around like a not-so-pesky bug on Arkanis.

You shrug a shoulder and turn to your friend – Dina. “Not yet,” you admit, lying to her in your answer but knowing it’s for the best. Prying eyes still followed you around here on occasion and you didn’t need more on baby watch. It had only been three months, after all. Virtually no time had passed. “It’s still early days.”

She nods understandingly and doesn’t seem to want to say anything else on the matter, so slowly you break away from her and begin to walk towards Armitage and Rhys, still playing in the field. Rhys has moved to sit atop Armitage’s chest and is yelling about how he’s “taken down the big, scary monster” and you’re glad to see that childhood fun on a topic like that didn’t seem to bother Armitage.

 _He_ clutches at his chest. “No, no – he _got me!_ Rhys got me! I’m–”

“No, the monster doesn’t know my name.” Rhys drops the act for a second to tell Armitage of this crucial fact before jumping straight back into his games.

You watch as Armitage blushes a shade of bright pink for just a second before continuing to join in with Rhys on his game. It’s only when Rhys eventually looks up and sees his mother wandering a few steps behind you that he pushes himself off of Armitage’s chest – rather forcefully – and begins sprinting towards her.

Armitage stays lying in the grass as you reach his side.

“Does the monster want to lay in the grass forever?” You ask, looking down at him.

His hair is messy, just like you’d seen it many times before. He’d given up on using hair gel months ago and you’d gotten used to the messy, floppy hair it was sometimes. You particularly enjoy how messy it would be after a nights sleep. He did not. And the beard he’d grown during his time on Ajan Kloss had gotten rather messy when he slept too. It was part of the reason he’d shaved it off, and while you miss it sometimes, a slight scruff still remains that makes him look not quite as clean cut as he had when you first met him.

Gone were the days of tight fitting, ironed First Order uniforms, and here were the days of slightly baggy t-shirts and trousers that weren’t as flattering as he would have liked them to be.

Not that you cared.

“Would the princess be mad if the monster _did_ stay in the grass forever?”

“Not at all. But she _would_ be lonely.”

You hold out a hand to him, and his smile returns as he takes it and accepts the help to stand. He brushes himself off as soon as he’s standing, removing some of the grass from the field from the back of his shirt before looking at you.

It’s quite impossible for him to stop smiling around you.

 _And_ he still hasn’t quite gotten used to being with you always.

He leans down to press a quick, chaste kiss to your lips before reaching down to take your hand again. With your spare one, you reach up quickly to brush a stray petal out of his hair before you walk over to Dina and Rhys. He’s talking excitedly about his afternoon with Armitage, and Dina is listening deeply.

“She asked me if we’d thought about children before, you know?” You mutter up to him before you get too close. “I think people are starting to get suspicious of us.”

Armitage raises his eyebrows. “People should, frankly, mind their own business.”

You nudge him gently. “ _People_ are just curious. They’re a tight knit community. There are kids all over this place. And we’re a new, young-ish couple that are without children. They probably think there’s something wrong with us.”

“Perhaps they should look closer to home.” He shakes his head.

He rarely ever thought about his own children. But only because it wasn’t something that was necessary to him right now. He had you, and he had the other children who lived around him that seemed to like him, strangely. He _had_ been thinking of something else, of course… but you didn’t know about that.

He’d been thinking about it ever since you attended a wedding in Arkanis a month and a half ago. Wondering what his own would look like, if he were to have one. Wondering what _you_ would look like in a dress like the bride at that one had worn. Wondering how _he_ would look in a suit like the groom had worn. The thought had kept him up late at night more than he’d like to admit.

The both of you reach Dina and Rhys and she looks up at you.

“Rhys was just telling me what good fun you had,” she speaks directly to Armitage. “Thank you for taking care of him, love. If you’re up for it, next time we go for a walk, you might look after him again? Only if you’d like to, of course. No pressure here.” She looks at you and it doesn’t take you long to catch her double meaning.

No pressure here for you to have your own children when you can babysit mine.

Armitage, though, is thrilled. He smiles. “If Rhys will have me back, I’d be happy to.”

Both Rhys and Dina beam at that, and soon enough they’re off, wandering back down the hill and through the small woods towards the city centre.

You and Armitage hang back. From this field, you can see half of the city in the distance, but from the other side of it, you have a perfect view of the hills and ridges that cover the planet before the lake, not too far away from here. Armitage lets go of your hand just so he can wrap an arm around your back as you wander back towards the flowers, wanting to take advantage of the sun while it lasts.

Facing out towards the hills, you and Armitage happily settle back in the flowers. Armitage sits behind you, and you lean back into his chest, the warm sun beating down on you. For a few moments there is silence.

Then, Armitage speaks.

“What do you think we could do to deter those who wants us to have a child?”

You can’t look up at him, but you furrow your eyebrows in confusion anyway. “I don’t know if there’s anything we _can_ do. No matter what we do, people will still wonder. Even though it’s only been a few months, they’ll still wonder,” you admit. “They know how serious we are about each other. Not much would deter them.”

Armitage huffs softly. “What about…” He hesitates. Never in his life had he ever been in a position to discuss something like this with anyone before, though he supposed that the likelihood of there being a good time to discuss it was slim. “No… never-mind.”

“No, what is it?”

“What about…” He hesitates again, and then sighs. “Would marriage deter them?”

You’re spinning around to face him half way through the word _marriage,_ unable to keep the shock and surprise off of your face as you meet his eyes. “You– _marriage_?”

He nods nonchalantly. “Would it?”

”I– probably not, no. It’d spur them on even more, I think.”

Armitage screws up his nose and shakes his head, disappointed. “Oh.”

“What… what makes you ask that? What makes you think of it?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “Ever since we attended that wedding I’ve wondered.”

“Wondered… what?”

He meets your eyes and smiles slightly. “What it would be like to marry you. It’s a luxury I never allowed myself to think of before. Marriage. One I never wanted to, one I never thought I would get a chance to even dream of. But I heard stories sometimes, heard people in the First Order, those who worked there, sometimes mentioning husbands or wives. I always allowed myself a luxury of curiosity, but not a curiosity about my own life. About my own possible wife.”

You try and look for the right words to say, but none that come to mind seem to be right. Instead, you lean up and kiss him softly and gently, letting your lips linger for a little longer than usual before you pull away.

Armitage’s eyes are sparkling as he looks at you after. “What was that for?”

“I think I’d like to call you my husband one day.”

His lips twitch. “We could do it, if you’d like.”

“People would be even more invested in us having children, though.”

“I’d get better at ignoring them.”

You’re unable to stop yourself from snorting in laughter at him. Sometimes he surprised you in his kindness and sincerity, and other times he was just like the Armitage you’d met on his ship months ago. Just as cold, just as unfeeling, but different – always with an undercurrent of warmth. This was one of those moments.

“You don’t think it’s too soon? To get married?”

He shook his head. “If there’s one thing I learnt after taking your hand and letting you save my life, it’s that life is not long enough to wait around for things you know you want.” He swiftly kisses you once more. “And I can guarantee I’d like to call you my wife even _more_ than you want to call me your husband.”

You narrow your eyes. “I don’t know… that’s a pretty heavy bet…”

“It’s one I’ll win,” he assures you happily.

He’d had the odds against him for much of his life. This time, the odds were in his hands, and he was going to do with them whatever he pleased. _This time,_ that included marrying the love of his life.


End file.
